Gay Porn Op-Ed: Stop Heterophobia In Gay Porn

Hey guys, Van Nailen here. I’m a straight porn star who works only in straight porn (sorry, fellas), and I’m grateful that The Sword has given me this opportunity to share my views on the gay porn industry. First of all, let me repeat: I’m straight. I eat pussy.

Now, you might be asking yourself, “Why would a straight guy who works only in straight porn and who only likes pussy care about what’s going on in gay porn?” Well, I’ll tell you why. I care about gay porn a lot. In fact, some of my best friends are straight men who work in gay porn. Unfortunately, most of them never get a chance to speak out or to express their discomfort as straight men being told to perform gay sex acts in gay porn.

So, today I’m here to speak up for them and to serve as a voice for the disenfranchised. I’m here to fight for the straight men working under the unfriendly, heterophobic, and often times hateful conditions found on a gay porn set. Pardon my French, but enough is enough, fags.

As you can see from my modeling photos, I’m a confident, attractive, and well-endowed straight man. I’ve been lucky to work with some of the most compassionate and respectful people in porn—straight porn, that is. Gay porn is a whole other story, where heterophobia, harassment, and in some cases the borderline raping of straight men has occurred. Recently, it’s been brought to my attention that there are straight men working in gay porn who are being asked to touch other men in a sexual manner. Hard to believe in 2012, but it’s true. This man-on-man touching has occurred on the chests, backs, buttocks, faces, abdomens, arms, and even cocks of other men. As you faggots like to say, “gag me with a spoon.”

Sometimes the men who the straight guys are being asked to touch are gay, and sometimes they are straight also. And sometimes, I’m told, some of my straight friends have been asked to let other men (both gay and straight) orally service them as part of a gay porn scene. Can you imagine?

Now, many of you might be saying, “If the straight guy doesn’t want to do it, he can just say no.” Well, it doesn’t exactly work that way, fairies.

Being on a gay porn set is one of the most frightening and intimidating things a straight guy can experience (so I’m told), and even thinking about telling a director or a scene partner “no” means you basically have a death wish. These queens don’t fuck around, and if you try to tell ’em no, they’ll either force you to do it anyway, or they’ll sue you for some kind of anti-gay workplace discrimination bullshit. Trust me, I’ve seen it happen. Sometimes it’s just better to shut up, close your eyes, and do what you’re told. That’s what most of my straight friends in gay porn have been doing for years, but they’ve had enough.

The straight men who have come to me have elected to remain anonymous out of fear that they’d be blacklisted or, even worse, forced to do even more in their next gay porn scenes, like fuck another man’s ass or do oral sex on other guys. But make no mistake: Straight men are a growing silent majority, and they’re not gonna take the abuse and repression anymore.

So listen here, you faggots: No matter how hot your straight scene partner is and no matter how bad you wanna bob on his knob like the little pole smoking flamer you are, you need to respect his boundaries. Straight men have limitations and self-respect that some gay bitch like you couldn’t even begin to comprehend. Don’t think that just because a straight guy has chosen to work in gay porn he is obligated to let you suck his dick as he sits their helplessly.

From now on, the straight man is in charge of what goes down on a gay porn set. Gays only get to touch and suck straight men when they’re asked to touch and suck. And gays only get to have their asses fucked when straight men let the gays ask them to fuck them in their asses. Got it, sissies?

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some pussy to go eat.
-Van Nailen

 

59 thoughts on “Gay Porn Op-Ed: Stop Heterophobia In Gay Porn”

  1. Yeh. I took one look at mr Nailen and thought:

    “It puts the lotion on its skin then puts it in the basket.”

    Just sayin’. LMAO!

  2. Love your comments and Think a Straight Porn Star who has Sex with a Gay works more Passionately and gets paid Very well so Enjoy it and if you Look Great the Better ! You are Acting and although some sex acts feel different you act Like you Love it .But sometimes I Wonder can a Gay guy Excite a Straight guy ?Will he Feel bisexual ?No matter what a job is a job and do it respectfully and make Your Partner realize the Show must go On and we Love you ,

  3. I nonsense , we end up with these limits … After all women are also taken touched one another and act as if they were lesbians.

  4. This is obviously a joke. On a serious note, there are a lot of really hot straight guys doing a lot of great work in gay porn. Check out Sean Cody, Bel Ami and Corbin Fisher to name a few sites where hunky gay and straight guys perform. Good Stuff!!!

  5. This is clearly a joke how can anyone take it serious look how much he emphasized on being straight and by definition gay porn involves gay sexual acts and as a gay for pay performer it means I have to do some sort of gay sex in a scene so how can anyone take this as genuine.

  6. Alors déjà mon gars, nous les gays on t’encule à sec et c’est les hétéros du porno gay qui doivent fermer leurs gueules et montrer leur cul aux gays et certainement pas le contraire. De plus qu’est qu’il connaît au porno gay ce con , il y connait que dâle. Aussi il me fait bien rire quand il dit qu’il est bien membré franchement j’ai regarder ses photos et c’est vraiment moyen, je propose pour qu’il acciert une certaine notion de ce qu’est être bien membrer qu’il se fasse faire le cul par un acteur porno GAY il verra. Peut-être qu’après on aurra réussi à le convertir qui sait ?!^^

  7. Pretty funny. I’d be laughing too if I hadn’t just puked out my ass and diarrhea’d out of my mouth at the imagery provided.

  8. 1st who the hell says “gag me with a spoon.” how old is the guy 60…..if you going to try and cum at a gay person 1 you better be fine as hell which dude sure as fuck isn’t and 2 know the fuck what your talking about…I’ve seen bigger dicks on a female to male trans gendered….it’s gay porn you fucking idiot, you know men eho have sex with other men on film and get paid for it…some take this miss-shapened chest little dick 70’s throw back straight wanna be porn star back to his plastic surgeon he needs his chest implants evened out

  9. I don’t read the sword often, but I got it as some kind of satire. I guess there are straight guys doing gay porn that would feel like Mr. Nailen. Maybe now they won’t.

  10. I mean, if straight men don’t want to be touched by other men then why are they in the gay porn industry? No one is forcing them to stay. Not all porn companies are going to pay time and time again for some guy to just sit there and jack off. If they don’t agree with the terms and conditions, then don’t enter the gay adult industry. Simple as that. Right?

    P.S – This article was pure comedy.

  11. In a word – Genius. A few months ago someone complained that The Sword features the same kind of posts every day. You’ve proved otherwise. Some wonderful satire in recent weeks. Keep it up.

  12. I enjoyed reading your blog once in a while,

    but honestly I don’t know why the hell you write half the stuff you do. Clearly you’re a little fucked in the head.

    Honestly, you do nothing to help our cause, you just give gay people a bad rep. Anti-gay people read this shit and they think all gay people are as vile and nasty as you are.

    so thanks for that!

    definitely not reading your blog anymore!

    1. Have you heard about the latsest innovation?

      They now sell brains fully equipped with a sense of humour .

      Consider investing in one instead of making yourself look stupid!

  13. This has become my favorite part of this blog. Lol!!!!!

    I wonder if this model vacations in cancun? Rofl!!!

  14. Why do they even hire “straight” porn actors in gay studios? It’s not like there aren’t enough gay guys that wanna have sex to go around…

  15. Joke or not, this guy would never even be asked to be in gay porn.
    Nobody wants to see that fat, ugly moron.

  16. I think Van(Zach) has a valid point. Why can’t gay men simply be happy that a 42 year old failed stripper, ex-In and Out burger flipper, with a teenage daughter and an ego only slight smaller than the douchebag owner, of the studio for which he works, allows gay men (for his purpose any man that touches/sucks cock is gay) in the same house with him? How can we expect him to do his job? Surely, they would welcome him back to the kitchen if he refused to touch a spatula. Why can gay men shut up about him actually doing his job and just keep sending him money? They paid for his house, vehicle, and 3 million dollars worth of tanning bed sessions but Cameron and Paige need shoes and hair removal cremes. Not to mention his medical bills…you simply can’t cook your body to that sexy beef jerky color and texture without risking skin cancer. He does so much for his fans tanning, standing, jerking his cock to a semi, allowing a GUY to blow him for upwards of 7 minutes on film, and all he ask is that you don’t EVER speak to him, unless you pretend to be a female, and keep paying for the same 3 videos every month.

  17. Wow its dead ugly Andrew Breitbart naked. Now that’s something I wish I could un-see gross. I need eye bleach.

  18. Listen up Van-Nailen you ugly crack-headed hobo from Skid-Row I refuse to by insulted & abuse on a gay-porn blog by a crazy nut job like you.I will not let you bullie me I had no problem kicking the ass of str8-bullies during my school days and making them run from me I don’t care what kind of psycho-path you are you got one hell of a nerve coming on this gay porn blog and posting your homophobic rants and hateful remarks about gays.If you want to talk about mis-treatment on a porno set how can we forget Linda-LOvelace and how she was force to have sex with Harry-Ream and other men on the set of her legendary porn film at the point of a gun before she died.No one is making your g4pers friends do gay-porn you can take their skanky ass right back to str8-porn with you and the sooner the better they get out of gay-porn the better off we will all be.We don’t need g4pers in gay-porn especially if they all look as ugly as you and you couldn’t get me to do str8-porn no matter how much money you offered me and.Besides if their having sex with you they must be one bunch of screw up crazy bitches to be payed to fuck you that they need a magnifying glass just to see your penis? As for your g4pes friends who are doing gay porn and selling their ass-holes for money if they don’t like what their doing than the best things for them to do is leave gay porn for good and never return? And make us gays very happy to see them because we don’t need their skanky asses in gay-porn anyway so do them a favor and take them with you to str8-porn so we never have to look at them again or deal wit them either.

    1. Chelsea says ...

      Ha Ha Liam …. no my dad looks more like a young Greg KInnear. But i would fuck this stud Van in a heartbeat. Garrett who. ??

  19. Cute post. Listen, we all love Charles from Hipsterrunoff, but seriously, you have to stop imitating him. We liked you just the way you were!

  20. Huckadebejeepers ....

    ….. he is HAWT !! How he’s not signed to an exclusive contract with Falcon is beyond me. Talk about dream boyfriend material ! Van …call me, maybe. Helen K.

  21. FUCK!!!….I cannot believe that people read this and thought it was genuine….FOR FUCK SAKE PEOPLE,WHERE ARE YOUR BRAINS!

    There’s been a lot of spoofing on here lately with Chelsea/Grant etc etc….IT’S ZACH MAKING HIS POINTS AND HAVING FUN WITH IT.

    JAYSUS ON A FUCKING LOLLY STICK….get some humor guys!

  22. Van Nailen you’re a hot piece of man and I fully sympathize with you .
    It must be even tougher for you as you look like gay porn star bottom Brenden Cage, the sissies must be chasing your ass!!

  23. Very funny spoof. But I sympathise with what Greg said. Gays in middle America shoudn’t have such a hard life in 2012.

  24. Love it. Love every word of it (as a parody.) Unfortunately, I fully believe that this is highly representative of the attitude of a lot (not all!) of straight performers in gay porn. They believe they are heterosexual gods who should be worshiped and praised in that they have given we gay mortals the opportunity and honor of gazing upon them in all their glory. How dare we ask them to actually perform?! Can you imagine?! What if this supply/demand logic worked in other industries? Food would have to taste good and clothes would have to be stylish! Insanity!

    My pissed-o-meter hit full tilt when a certain NDS model posted “I’m heterosexual. That is all.” on their Twitter; and yeah, I took the “That is all.” to be a very Miranda Priestly-like dismissive declaration. So, good for you. Now head off to heterosexual porn; where you would obviously be more comfortable. I marvel at all of these straight men who use their looks to profit from the adoration of gay men (porn, gogo dancers, strippers, etc.) but are offended and, seemingly, insulted when gay men are so enthralled with them that they request to see them do more. Some of these guys need to take note of their peers. If you’re not comfortable with the attention or the demands of the target viewing audience, just do a solo and go away. There are many straight performers who have literally and figuratively busted their tail to perform well for their viewing audience and with little attitude; and to them I say “Thank you!!” But to the others, go get your crotch rocket and nutritional supplement money (or whatever it is you use your gay porn paycheck for) somewhere else. I think everyone would be more happy if you did so, including you.

  25. Well, if u straights can’t do gay porn and just quit it & go back 2 ur straight porn, am i rite? nobody is aimin a gun at ur head!

  26. It’s funny Men of Porn just had an article about Chris Rockway’s name change (to Cash Hunter) and possible transition to straight porn. And this Van Nailen guy happens to belong to the same agency.

  27. I read this and was disgusted, and now as I read comments to, “get over it, it’s a joke!!,” I’m more disgusted. What an offensive and very poorly thought out joke if it is one.

  28. I was going to say “Please don’t let there be anyone gullible enough to actually take this seriously.” Alas, I’m too late.

    It’s FAKE. FAKE FAKE FAKE satire FAKE, people! It’s a JOKE!

  29. Go fuck your self ……
    There straight doing gay porn …. Get it gay porn .
    THere straight doing gay gay gay gay porn
    They can’t perform and do there duty welllll fuck offffffff

  30. Sir Buttlyfuck

    I beg pardon.
    I responded to hastily upon seeing this punnly named porn man. Now upon reading his grievance I understand his point.
    His derogatory comments and fuglied face aside, I am curious about how he feels about how men and often women are treated in the straight porn world. Does he truly wish for gay men in gay porn be treated like straight men in straight porn? I certainly understand some straight men being uncomfortable with gay sex, and even understand their inability to leave with how intimidating those thinks and pudgy camera men can be, but if uncomfortable about the prospect of being with a gay man in a gay way, why good sir, why would they agree in the first place and possibly return for more work?

    Legitimately intrigued,
    Sir Buttlyfuck

  31. Attractive???!!! Where? I only see a FAT guy in those pictures, I guess his body fat is more than 50%, mine is only around 13%, you are TOO FAT..Well-endowed??!! Didn’t see that coming, I thought I saw a girl at beginning. I got to say in straight porn, they don’t care how ugly men look, they only care they can have the quality girls in this industry, so ugly and fat men can survive with low pay in straight porn industry. You eat pussy, b/c you’re in straight porn. What do you want people to do in gay porn?? Lick the floor or the lollypop??? G4P straight men in gay porn just want to make more money than you make. If they don’t like what happen in gay porn, then DON’T even get involved in gay porn, go to straight porn. That’s just a simple rule. Don’t forget the meaning of G4P.

    1. I happen to agree with you 100%. When he says “attractive” i just wanted to puke. Who ever told him he was attractive must have been either blind or just being nice to him.

  32. As a gay male not in porn, can I just say “fuck you” to the disgusting, bigoted and hateful “speech” you just made. Congratulations on being “brave” enough as a white heterosexual male to voice your opinion! How freeing that must feel! Im sorry, but last time I checked, the porn industry was voluntary – you apply for the job and you get paid to do said job. If all these people are having such a terrible time, two options – quit or report a sexual assault to police. I’m totally offended with your use of “fairies”, “faggots” and the innuendo that gay men are nothing but predators. Spend a week (or a day) speaking to any gay male in middle America, too scared to be true to themselves and their family/friends for fear of being beaten to death for simply being gay, then reconsider your “statement” you brave soul… And eat shit while you’re eating that pussy… The poor girls who are forced to fuck you must be thrilled to have you sweating and writhing on top of them…

  33. Sir Buttlyfuck

    Excuse me dear Sir,
    Did you happen to consider the possibility of your face being the major point of concern when casting, given its level of fugly?

    Legitimately concerned,
    Sir Buttlyfuck

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