“It only took a few months after entering the adult film industry to see the kind of toxicity that runs within it. The warped sense of self I already felt was magnified more than I’d ever imagined possible.” ~Tayte Hanson
Tayte Hanson is, and always was, more than a pretty face. As we discovered when he wrote “Not My President, Not My Country” back in November, Tayte is very politically and culturally aware — and able to express it with impressive clarity and articulation.
His self-respective piece, “Having Body Dysmorphia in Gay Porn Is a Nightmare,” just published by Vice, is a thoughtful and insightful read. It’s not that his body isn’t as pretty as the rest: it’s that he often doesn’t feel that way.
Being fit before filming is part of a porn star’s job. In this case, it’s not that Tayte isn’t ready for his close-up. It’s the forces inside and out that make him think he isn’t. We all gain a few pounds now and then. We all slack at gym from time to time. But when you get naked and filmed for a living, there’s nowhere to hide. Even, as in Tayte’s case, you really have nothing to hide in the first place.
“The body I see weighs 160 pounds, stands at 5′ 9″, and clocks in at a mere 4.5 percent fat. By the books, I am in the top tenth percentile of humans walking the planet, fitness-wise. Yet I feel inadequate. I wouldn’t describe myself as having low self-esteem, but when I look in the mirror, I feel overweight.”
“By the time I shot my first porn, while I was in a place where I felt I’d made huge strides in terms of my mental health and body image, I was not prepared for the onslaught of internet trolls who’d consume my work, waiting to feast on every and any vulnerability they could.”
“One of my good friends in the industry once told me a story about his very first shoot, at which he overheard his director and another model talking in a side room about how bringing him across the country to film was a bad idea and his pictures “looked much more fit” than he did in person.”
“To be clear, I realize the porn industry is one that’s necessarily about the objectification of our bodies, and it’s important to remain at the top of your game. But he certainly was at the top of his game—and overhearing those comments caused my friend serious pain and led to an eating disorder. Over the year that followed, he put himself on an extreme diet and started taking steroids. After 14 months, he was hospitalized and needed both physical and mental therapy to treat his continuing body dysmorphia.”
“As human beings, we don’t have to be perfect—we’d be pretty fucking boring if we were. But if we are to live with some degree of happiness, we have to be willing to love ourselves and all our flaws, both those that are real and perceived. I’m still working out which is which, and learning to love myself in the process.”
Adding the complete article to your reading list is highly recommended. In many ways, parts of Tayte’s story is everyone’s story. Though most don’t have the balls to tell it.
Thank you, Tayte. And may I add, looking good. As always.
For more with Tayte Hanson’s fine body in fine body of work …
… visit the Tayte Hanson Theater at NakedSword.
Tayte thank you so much for your great work in the porn industry. Don’t worry about silly comments.
Many socalled ‘fans’ don’t appreciate what the actors do for them. You are a wonderful human being,
a very good looking guy and a great actor.
Your biggest fan in Vienna whishes you the best.
That is just stupid. Don’t forget you get paid a huge amount of money to look that way. If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the fucking kitchen. You can quit anytime and no one will miss you.
Shades of Erik Rhodes. It’s a terrible curse to be self-loathing. I hope Tayte realizes that he’s probably too good looking and intelligent … for such a shallow industry.
This is a beautiful young man with a body and package that are truly enviable. For anyone to say otherwise is just self loathing. When will we as community of oppressed people stop oppressing our own. Fat, Fem, Asian, etc. if we as a community expect acceptance and respect. It starts at home people. Stop it. If someone is not your type you are likely not theirs either so you hide behind your hateful comment. Stop shaming anyone or be no different than those that hate on all LGBTQ people.
The Irony of this serious topic being paired with nude photos of Tayte is stunning and sad.
Most of these pics seem to be from Tayte’s twitter he posted himself. Whilst that may be ironic in one hand, the only sad thing here is that someone with a body like that feels in any way inferior – and the images help make that point.
It’s about time gay men stop rejecting other guys just ’cause they might have a few lbs on them. Here in San Francisco the gay men can be some of the rudest and most arrogant ‘prima donnas’ and treat other guys like shit for no reason and reject them because they’re not perfect physically or for whatever reason.
It’a also done as some sick boot for their confidence. To them it’s nothing better than rejecting guys on how they look.
Tayte has the most beautiful blue eyes ever seen
The trolls will always come out especially the jealous ones. Since they don’t like what they look in the mirror they will bring down others out of pure jealousy.
But also I mean come on Tayte, you know you’re hot don’t let the haters get to you. In the end of the day you’re the hot guy getting laid while they’re somwer