Global Recession Making Straights Act Like Gays

Because everything is backwards down there, March is like August for Australians and marks the end of the high season at the clothing-optional White Cockatoo Resort in Mossman. Tony Fox, proprieter of the White Cockatoo, has decided to up the ante in terms of heterosexual dirtiness at this already nudist playground.

“Tough economic times call for stiff measures,” [says Fox] “It will be a hedonism resort, where anything goes for a month. It doesn’t take rocket science to work out what it means.”

Given the fact the resort got some negative publicity a couple years back for hosting swingers’ parties that got the neighbors’ panties in a bunch, this “anything goes” party basically sounds like business-as-usual for the White Cockatoo. The very fact that we’re writing about it is likely just the result of a random press release that got picked up on the wires.

No fans ourselves of the saggy-titted polyamory practiced at these places, we wish straight foreign tourists our best in not contracting herpes (or worse!) from the hot tub. Take it from the gays–you don’t go places like this and without coming back with some new need for a prescription.

For our gay readers, we provide you with these small glimpses of life behind the gates at the White Cockatoo. Hot, right?