Go To A Gay Bar, Punch Your Buddy In The Face


image from Titan’s
Impact Play

In an interview that originally appeared in Instigator Magazine, Titan Man Tony Buff and his pain pig boy Derek da Silva discuss public impact play:

To many outside observers, our play looks rather violent, but …it’s a brutal expression of our love and the way we make our deepest connection.  Inevitably, when we play in public or even in semi-private settings, someone will try to stop our scene. All they see is violence and abuse. Even when I am beating on Derek unrestrained, there is often someone that thinks that this must be non-consensual, even though he clearly could step away at any time — or just use his martial arts background  to kick the SHIT out of me.

Derek has previously said that pain is more central to his sexuality than dicks and assholes, and for Tony, “this play is one of our deepest expressions of love.” But some bar-goers roll their eyes when the sounds of grunting and whip cracks begin to fill the bar. Here’s how the blogger Bill in Exile — a long-time slutty ex-Marine like Tony — responded to the couple’s public display at a Seattle gay bar last month:

Tony seemed like a charming enough sort… Charming that is until he decided it was time to extemporaneously smack around his “Boy” a bit for some infraction of protocol either real or imagined. This was done in full view of all the club patrons — which, I guess is the whole point isn’t it? To do something like that in public I mean. Its sort of like being a three year old and jumping up and down at a restaurant while screaming at your parents, “Look at me! Look at me!”

For Bill in Exile, public impact play is for disruptive show-offs. But for Tony and Derek, public impact play is less about attention-whoring and more about kinkster conservation. Derek left this comment on my article about the death, and maybe rebirth, of leather culture:

Here is something you can do…: PLAY. Do it in the bar. Fuck them if they don’t like it. Tony Buff and I play in bars all the time and we get shut down all the time. When that happens we know what kind of bar we are in and we fucking move on. Why do we think it’s important to do this shit in public? Because IT’S OUR FUCKING SPACE and WE WANT TO CLAIM IT. If you run a leather bar and are freaked out by a flogging or bondage or bootlicking or whatever you should stop exploiting our community and open something else.

If you are a title holder and you are weirded out by the crazy shit we do (safely I might add) maybe you should move on because you have no fucking clue – and you are supposed to represent and lead us. Players need to reclaim our spaces, and when that doesn’t happen we need to make new spaces.

So while the cool kids have a right to diss the yelping freaks in the corner, the yelping freaks in the corner have a right not to give a shit. And before you start to wish that the “show-offs” would just stop their disruptive mating rituals, take a moment and remember that that’s how endangered species go extinct.

RELATED:

Derek Da Silva: ‘If You’re Going to Set Someone On Fire, Have a Wet Towel Ready’
Tony Buff Will Fuck Jesus Christ When He Dies
[NSFW] Tony Buff Beat Someone Up Again

Anatomy of a Scene: Impact Play
(Tony Buff blog)

5 thoughts on “Go To A Gay Bar, Punch Your Buddy In The Face”

  1. In his blog Scott said “There were tons of menz out at The Cuff last night so I, of course, managed to stay completely entertained the entire time I was there . . . which was until about midnight when, fearing I would turn into a pumpkin, I made a mad dash for my illegally parked {like right in the middle of a sidewalk} car and from there to home, my bed, and the Military Channel where they are doing Marine Month and had a show on about Marine Corps Mountain Warfare School that I simply couldn’t miss.”

    So lemme see if I got this: parking on the sidewalk is a-ok and aint a public nuisance (cuz noone ever uses a wheelchair, and its way safe for pedestrians to walk in the street).

    And surely it’s not “AGAINST THE FUCKING LAW”.

    It’s your world – the rest of us just live in it. Just stay away from Cappy’s, ok?

  2. Hmmmm, I like being called a cool kid that’s fer shur and the yelping freaks in the corner do, indeed, have every right to not give a shit. But here’s the thing: smacking someone bloody in a public place — even if its consensual — IS AGAINST THE FUCKING LAW! Its called assault and battery here in the state of Washington and it’ll get you three years at Walla Walla. And even if Derek said he was fine with receiving a public beating a cop could have and would have been obligated to arrest Tony had he witnessed it.

    So not only do I take exception to Derek and Tony disrupting my evening at a bar or club by their assaulting one another, but I take exception to their presuming that I should be fine with watching someone commit a crime against another person and that I should abet that crime by simply sitting back and keeping my mouth shut.

    Both these twits are lucky that all I did was write a stooopid blog post about their pathetic antics — I could have called the cops or worse, assumed that Derek needed help and jumped in and stomped Tony’s ass for him..

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