Here’s Who Will Win At The Grabbys, Part 3

Wrapping up The Sword’s three part series on who will probably win a Grabby this weekend, I present to you the final round of predictions that won’t come true. Being wrong about everything has never been so much fun.

I don’t know who picks the winners (the staff of Grab magazine?) and whether or not having a Grabby win attached to your movie actually results in higher sales, but who cares, really. The point is to get drunk and for porn stars to feel good about themselves.

Here then are my final predictions–all of which are, again, most likely wrong. I’ll be live tweeting the actual winners on Saturday night, starting around whenever the show starts–7pm(?), Chicago time–and ending when I and/or my phone dies from being drunk. And remember, these are not necessarily reflective of my personal opinions, except in cases where they are.
Best Non-Sexual Performance
Howard Andrews, Grand Slam-Channel 1 Releasing
Lisa Ann, Getting Levi’s Johnson-Jet Set Men
Chi Chi LaRue, F*CK U-Channel 1 Releasing
Sharon Kane, Affermative Blacktion-Channel 1 Releasing
Sharon Kane, Bowser Makes Another Porn-Custom Boys
Michael Youens, Crotch Rocket-Mustang

Lisa Ann is great, but she’s been doing Palin longer than Tina Fey has. They’ll give Chi Chi an award in another category. It’s nice that Michael Youens was nominated. The competition comes down to Howard and Sharon, but I don’t think the Grabbys can resist a chance at awarding “Fabscout” Howard and giving him access to a microphone in front of the entire industry.

Will Win: Howard Andrew
Should Win: Howard Andrew
No Guts, No Glory: Michael Youens

Best Actor
Dean Coxx, Jersey Score
Brent Everett, Grand Slam
Brandon Lee, Affermative Blacktion
John Magnum, Trust Me I’m a Doctor
Casey Monroe, Getting Levi’s Johnson
Ricky Sinz, Brutal 1&2
Nicco Sky, text,lies and video
Chris Rockway, text, lies and video

Ricky Sinz did the most actual acting, but Brent Everett had to actually cry in Grand Slam. And while he won’t win, Brandon Lee playing a hot gaysian mess was the most entertaining.

Will Win: Ricky Sinz
Should Win: Brandon Lee
No Guts, No Glory: John Magnum

Best Supporting Actor
Kevin Cavalli, Jersey Score
Samuel Colt, Crotch Rocket
Brent Corrigan, Getting Levi’s Johnson
Conner Habib, Raising The Bar
Adam Killian, Raising The Bar
Angelo Marconi, Brutal 1 & 2
Diesel Washington, Getting Levi’s Johnson
Bren Wyson, Brutal 1 &2
Bren Wyson, Grand Slam

The movie with the most nominations has to take home at least one acting award, and Brent Corrigan will be the one to do it. He deserves it, too.

Will Win: Brent Corrigan
Should Win: Brent Corrigan
No Guts, No Glory: Bren Wyson

Best Versatile
Benjamin Bradley
Rod Daily
Tommy Defendi
Shane Frost
Adam Killian
Kyle King
Wilfried Knight
Brandon Lewis
Luke Marcum
Matthew Rush

DO NOT FUCK THIS ONE UP, GRABBYS.

Will Win: Tommy Defendi
Should Win: Tommy Defendi
No Guts, No Glory: Matthew Rush

Best Newcomer
Eric Austyn
Brandon Bangs
Kennedy Carter
Landon Conrad
Drew Cutler
Steve Diagle
Jimmy Durano
Kris Evans
Jayden Grey
Jake Lyons
Marcus Mojo (formerly known as Landon Mycles)
Riley Price
Angel Rock
Brandon Wilde

The most impossible to predict category. They’ll pick two winners, and while a Jayden Grey/Riley Price combo would be perfect, they’ll want to pick one younger and one older performer (last year they went with Austin Wilde and Samuel Colt). Most of these guys would all be fine, but some of them would be just awful! And a couple of them I have never heard of, or maybe their name is just spelled wrong?

Will Win: Riley Price and Landon Conrad
Should Win: Kennedy Carter and Riley Price
No Guts, No Glory: Steven Daigle and Eric Austyn

Performer Of The Year
Samual Colt
Landon Conrad
Race Cooper
Drew Cutler
Rod Daily
Steven Diagle
Brent Everett
Kris Evans
Conner Habib
Adam Killian
Wilfied Knight
Brandon Lewis
Angelo Marconi
Marcus Mojo (formerly known as Landon Mycles)
Austin Wilde

Again, they pick two for this category. And if you think the Grabbys are going to pass up giving one of the awards to the most (like it or not) famous person in the room, think again. How Spencer Reed is not on this list is beyond all comprehension.

Will Win: Steven Daigle and Brent Everett
Should Win: Brent Everett and Austin Wilde (or maybe Samuel Colt and Marcus Mojo)
No Guts, No Glory: Kris Evans, Rod Daily

 

That’s it! If you hate yourself enough to read the other predictions, here’s part one and part two.

 

18 thoughts on “Here’s Who Will Win At The Grabbys, Part 3”

    1. That would be Spencer Reed. He’s been in everything this year, and yet was inexplicably locked out of the nominations.

      1. I don’t get it, he not only deserved to be nominated but to win several awards including performer of the year. It must be that he isn’t affiliated with any major studio, and I suppose all of these awards shows are rigged in favor of them.

        1. And the studios he did the most (and best) work for seemed to be shut out of the competition for some reason, so that’s probably a good half the reason why he didn’t get a nom.

  1. Why are washed up porn stars only interested in getting wasted and having bitchy hissy fights?
    It must really suck to know that your washed up and your star has fallen.
    Now you have to fuck the bottom of the barrel to make a few hundred in cash…or worse yet, submit yourself to low budget seedy hotel room bare back porn.
    WASHED UP, WASTED AND TOSSED TO THE CURB….hope you saved your money honey.

    1. I’m praying for a Carrie White moment at the Grabbys.

      Remember pimples are the Lord’s way of chastising you!

  2. They just didn’t want to make it overly predictable.. cause i clearly would have won. HA just kidding its actually nice to not have to stress about winning or not. Now i just get to get wasted and have fun : )#allreadywon

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