How To Deduct Lube, and Other Secrets of Sex Work

From Nick Capra, Hookie nominee for Best Porn Star Escort
“Just did my taxes yesterday. Best write-off was for all the cosmetic shit I had done last year: Botox, Juviderm, Restalyne..Totaled out at over $3,000 and I wrote every last bit of it off as ‘Maintanence’…”

From Mark Kliem, porn director and Lavender Lounge creator
“When I go to dinner and pick up the tab, I make everyone at the table say, “porn porn porn” so I can write it off. I did a shoot two weeks ago and made the model pose under a new oil painting so I could write it off. At my old house I wrote off cost of the hot tub and landscaping because I always shot porn in the back yard. I write off my collection of vintage gay porn magazines and vintage 8mm movies I order from eBay. (BTW, my first collection of vintage porn on DVD is now available at GayDVD.com) …I will be using my tax refund to go to IML.”

Michael Lucas gave us an uncut look at one of his more outrageous Schedule C deductions.
“[This year] I purchased Hugh Jackman … He exudes such raw man sex appeal. I can’t believe he’s straight. I’m investigating arousing him in various ways, and will write this off as an education expense. I showed him one butthole and it lured him into his experimental arousal cage in which he now sits.”

Mr. Pam, porno director and not-for-profit sex agent told us that porn stars often deduct STD treatment, and offered this tip:
“Purchase your porn, lube, condoms, etc on a debit/credit card so you have a better record of your purchase.  Lots of times porn stores receipts are generic lacking store info, date, etc.  IRS will start with your bank statements, so make sure everything is accounted for on your statements …”

From Maxine Doogan (“Mistress Max”) and head of the Erotic Service Providers Union.
“There are a variety of ways to describe one’s work in the sex industry and therefore couch these kinds of deductions accordingly. Deductions only have to be justified and the IRS wants their money no matter what you do for work. 

I believe I wrote my liposuction off as a health expense.  I don’t write off lube but I could under supplies.  I feel quite confident in being audited as I save everything. Being audited isnt’ the end of the world just like being arrested isn’t the end of the world. I’ve been filing and paying taxes for decades.   I want first class citizenship for my first class taxes.  Liberty is the best stimulus.”

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