How To Live A Normal Life After You’ve Tested Positive For HIV, Gonorrhea, and Meningitis

Hey guys! Brandon here, The Sword’s winter and now spring(!) intern. Sorry I haven’t blogged in a while, but I’ve been adjusting to my new medication after testing positive for HIV, not to mention just finding out that I also have gonorrea and meningitis. Why does this stuff keep happening to me?

As if having to deal with my HIV wasn’t annoying enough, I just found out yesterday that I recently contacted gonorrhea and meningitis. My doctor thinks that I probably caught the menangitis when I went to Black Party over the weekend, but he says it looks like I’ve had the gonorrhea for months judging by the amount of existing sores around my genitals. Nobody mentioned the sores at the Black Party, but I guess that’s because it was dark. (And thank god nobody saw them—that would have been so embarassing!)

A lot of you are probably wondering what the hell menningitis is, and so am I. Apparently it’s like a horrible flu that can kill you, but it’s not a sexually transmitted disease, so I can’t blame me catching it on any of the guys I hooked up with over the weekend. The fact that I have HIV is making it a little harder to get rid of, and I feel like shit right now to be honest. Hopefully I’ll be better in time for this weekend, because I’ve got a trip planned out to Palm Springs for White Party that I do NOT want to miss. I’m drinking a lot of orange juice and doing eurythimicin, so keep your fingers crossed. As far as the gonneria, what can I say? Like usual, I continue to practice the safest bareback sex possible by pulling out, asking my partner’s status before we fuck, and rarely (if ever) bottoming. So once again, how I keep catching all these nasty ass diseases continues to be one of life’s little mysterys.

Anyways, the poitn of this blog post was to give some tips on how to live a normal life after you find out you have HIV, gonorrhea and meningitis, and all I can say is this: Act normal.

What I mean by “act normal” is that you should just act like nothing is wrong and you’re not even sick. For example, I went to Black Party last weekend and, though I could barely walk at times, I had a blast fucking and sucking some of whom I can only assume were the hottest men in New York. Loads were swallowed, seeded, and shared until the break of dawn, and nobody bothered to ask me the usual boring things like “What’s your name” or “Can I get your number?” or “Is that blood?” Just act normal and go about your business, and people will treat you with the respect and dignity that you deserve. And once this menengitis dies down and I get some cream for my gonerahea sores, I plan on being my normal self this weekend at White Party, so watch out, Palm Springs!

Act normal and you’ll get treated normal. As gay men, we deserve to be treated equal just like everyone else. Watching this week’s Supreme Court Hearings on Gay Marriages and Doma and seeing all the red profile pics on Facebook has inspired me even more to be myself and to be normal. Everyone deserves equality, regardless of their sexual orientated or their health issues. So, I will not be forced to hide and not attend parties or be discrimanated against because of my HIV, my gonorreha, or even my meningitis.

Thanks guys.

-Brandon

 

35 thoughts on “How To Live A Normal Life After You’ve Tested Positive For HIV, Gonorrhea, and Meningitis”

  1. Okay, am I the only one who thinks The Sword does not know when to stop with the “satire” posts? When you do it all the fucking time it’s hard to differentiate between the satire and the plain jane moron posts. Let go of this shtick you guys have going right now. It’s gotten old and plain irritating. Surely you can afford to hire a few real writers can’t you? I’m sure there are plenty of idiots who read these pieces and think highly of themselves for having “mind attuned to it’s nuance”, but let’s move on for fucks sake.

  2. Writing satire, especially “political” satire like this, requires a steady hand to keep it on the knife-edge between reality and over-the-top absurdity.

    This one stings because “Brandon” did just that. Had it been more Onion-style satire, most of those who read it would get the joke.

    So I’d like to compliment the writer. Whenever I hear a younger gay guy act like HIV or other STDs are not that big a threat to their life, I want to throw them in a time machine to see how far we’ve come. This piece captures that nonchalance that too many of our younger counterparts express today.

    Good satire is usually misunderstood by minds not attuned to it’s nuance. Enjoy the vitriol, “Brandon.” You earned it with a well-written piece.

  3. I want to write: ‘Swire, you are a lame satirist’ and generally huff at you.
    But every time I read a ‘Brandon’ post I smirk, smile and sometimes laugh. But then I read the comments and howl like a drain.
    Swire, sir, you arew magnificent. Please keep up all the (bad) work. It cheers my life immensely.

  4. So Zack will stop publishingh posts about BB porn, but willingly writes this tripe and publishes it.

    HIV is NOT funny, at all, and should not be turned into parody fodder.

    Those who are in fact ignorant about HIV etc (as this suggests “Brandon” is), need to be told the correct things, not glorified, poked fun at and laughed at, or imitated so someone else who is ignorant and uninformed can read it and believe it.

  5. Holy Shit Brandon, your days are numbered. At this rate, Zach will have you dead by mid-April. Do you enjoy killing your alter egos Zach?

  6. Great advice, I completely agree and as an avid reader of your work I’ve recently started practicing safe bareback sex!!

    It’s been 2 months now and I’m doing pretty good thanks to this “pulling out” trick. It’s really a good idea.

    How do you deal when the gonorrhea sores open though? Should we keep acting “normal” in this case too? Last time it happened one of my sores blew open it was all white and the guy thought I had cum!! I just let him believe that and he seemed pretty happy with what he got! INsisted on swallowing it(greedy boy!) , I couldn’t refuse :)

    Thanls for your contribution to the equality movement Brandon!!

    GAY = OK

  7. Can’t wait until “Brandon” is dead so that Zombie Chelsea could crawl out of her grave from the pet cemetery and bring us back her words of wisdom.

    1. Get it right, It’s Ghost Chelsea. But thanks for the props.

      Here is as good a place as any to say “Zach …. that Mick video ??? Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.”

      1. Yes I know but it wouldn’t hurt to slip your cunty self back into your maggot-infested body and crawl from underground. Pay a visit to your baby’s daddy first I’m sure he’ll get a kick out of seeing you again.

  8. I would call you a disgusting faggot but that would be an insult to normal faggots. I hope you die you disgusting piece of shit.

    1. When I read these Brandon post, I always think it is you, when one of your alternate personalities takes over.

      And, I love how you use the word “faggot” so easily when you’ve had more dicks in you than most “normal faggots” have in a lifetime…faggot.

      1. Im not using the word faggot against homosexual acts, or heterosexual women, only behavior you stupid faggot

          1. I see. The word is confined to acts and not a whole person. So does this mean you can apply this logic to body parts? Like, my dick is a faggot but I’m not!!! Or, your asshole is a big faggot clearly from all that anal you’ve had prior to porn!!! Or like, my pre-op girlfriend has a faggot but is planning to have surgery to remove it!!!

            According to your logic, it may be used in terms of body parts. In that case, I guess your comments on here make you a big faggot Mr. Fox!

          2. I like to use the term “biggot”

            Incidentally, it is just two letters shy of faggot but without having resorting to denigrate a group of people to make a point against one person. Unlike faggot, when biggot is used, it is because the ignorant behavior elicits being called that term. And Faggots aren’t usually ignorant.

            I’d rather be a “faggot” than a “biggot”!

  9. wow is this whole blog a joke?!

    “I continue to practice the safest bareback sex possible” ?!!?

    “I had a blast fucking and sucking some of whom I can only assume were the hottest men in New York. Loads were swallowed, seeded, and shared until the break of dawn, and nobody bothered to ask me the usual boring things like “What’s your name” or “Can I get your number?” or “Is that blood”? Just act normal and go about your business, and people will treat you with the respect and dignity that you deserve.”

    ” So, I will not be forced to hide and not attend parties or be discrimanated against because of my HIV, my gonorreha, or even my meningitis.”

    I wouldn’t discriminate against you for having hiv…i would discriminate against you for being so disgustingly reckless with your health and the health of others. is this supposed to be some sort of sick joke? are you serious dude??! SCREW YOU! I CANT BELIEVE I JUST READ THIS BS

  10. First, Meningitis is NOT a flu you stupid shit! Meninges are thin membranes that comers your brain. When those get infected by bacteria, fungus or a virus its called Meningitis. Inflammation of the meninges. With your acquired immune disease your more susceptible. Probably a fungus infection. Sorry my friend, no amount of OJ will help you out there. And YES, anyone you offered up your sloppy hole to at the black party is very likely to contract the same infection depending which type you have…

    Second, how dirty and gross are you to not notice a giant canker on your wanker. Do you not care about your own health or the health of the people your sharing your sexy self with? Obviously we know that answer dont we. You really are a great example of a petri dish. Pat yourself on your back, you’re dirtier then a dollar bill! Goals right!?!?

    THIRD, how dare you write an “blog” about HIV with such dismissal and ignorance? A huge percentage of the gay community has watched someone at some point grow weak and waste away from full blow AIDS. Now while there are some really great meds out there these days but some things are inevitable dear. And by the way your going…. “yaaaaa….

    Yaaaaa…..”

    Keep going though….. The sooner your dead, the better off we all will be!

    Sweet dreams and your truly,
    -Trevor Knight

    1. Simma down now. “Brandon” is a parody.

      Also… this is unrelated and kind of really obvious.. but..
      .. you are really hot.

    2. Trevor-
      You have missed your calling as a writer for great 1 liners! You have 3 priceless ones in your posting:
      canker on your wanker
      a great example of a petri dish
      you’re dirtier then a dollar bill

      Hope you don’t have them trademarked because I and planing to ‘borrow” them.

      Kidding aside – thanks for writing “how dare you write an “blog” about HIV with such dismissal and ignorance?” . We both know the original posting was an attempt at parody but the subject matter is painful and personal for so many of us that the author should find a better way to transmit his ‘anti bareback’ message.

      1. “Rocly” (i.e., troll):

        Life is painful. Get off the internet and/or avoid topics that are too “personal” (and certainly don’t read blog posts about STDs!) if it’s too much for you to handle.

    3. Trev, This “blog” is an ongoing parody on The Sword, meant to provoke thought–which it obvious did in you. You and your adorable boy friend keep on being sweet-n-sexy and safer.

  11. Okay, we get it. I assume this parody was actually written by some clever fellow closer to my age, or at least my sensibility. I’m a baby-boomer who survived (so far) the worst years of the AIDS crisis – first by luck, but later with the strength and support of a community that educated each other in how to have sex in ways that were safer and still fun and exciting. The new meningitis drug-resistant strain now making the rounds in the gay community is something for all of us to be concerned about. Thanks for writing this. Provocative and condescending, but unfortunately responsive to a lot of ignorance of our younger brothers – our failure to educate. Sorry. Definitely a discussion we should be having.

    I’m still having fun…..but safely.

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