33 thoughts on “I Always Thought I Wasn’t A Racist, But After Watching This Video Of Conner Habib Discussing Racism, I’m Not So Sure That I’m Not A Racist”

  1. Don’t give it a second thought. You are attracted to whom you are attracted. Go for it. Let the PC people fret about it. I am a very fair skin blond and blue eyed Irish American and I have always been atracted to Latin/
    Mediterranean types. It started with a Sicilian Italian boy in my high school class. Dark tan skin. brown eyes, jet black hair WOW! Today my fantasy type is the Portuguese soccer god, Cristiano Ronaldo. Just enjoy your sexuality and don’t give a damn how others may label it. Life is to short.

  2. I think Conner gave a really smart, thoughtful answer to a complicated question. I really agree with the part of his answer where he discusses the idea of simply cutting off an entire race. Guys who are only attracted to one race are absolutely entitled to their preference. The challenge…and what Conner seems to suggest, is in taking a moment and examining why or how someone could come to such a conclusion about an entire race. Is it what you were taught, have you thus far been exposed to so few guys of the race you don’t find attractive that you simply haven’t seen anything you like? As there are hundreds of guys out there with hundreds of methods of finding them, no one is forced to examine themselves in that manner.

    I used to think this way. I wasn’t particularly jazzed by white guys. I found the differences in our skin too striking…initially it was very disturbing. As I’ve grown up, I’ve learned that there are princes and toads in every racial group. There are hot fit guys and hot fat guys, hot short guys and hot tall guys etc. I do finding it annoying though, when I hear someone saying that they aren’t attracted to Black guys. The instant response (internally at least) is “what’s wrong with me?” I quickly get over that, and recognize that their opinion is not an accurate (or even relevant) commentary on Black beauty. That’s their loss. In the meantime, I will fuck around with anyone that makes me hard

  3. I just don’t get why people find the need to ever put themselves out like that, “I only date white guys”, “I don’t find Asian men attractive” or “I don’t find black guys attractive”. I mean have you met everyone there is ever to meet? It just makes you sound foolish and ignorant.

    White, black, Asian, Hispanic, Arab..a nice guy is still a nice guy. Don’t border yourself off with such a terrible pretense of a statement. It’s not an inherent predisposition. If a guy ticks all the boxes you have on what a good partner or husband is, for example: nice, funny, attractive, successful and outgoing..does it really matter what color he is?

    Will you really choose the white guy who is attractive, boring, and a asshole, over the latino guy who is attractive, funny, and nice? I doubt it, and if you do..then I won’t say you’re racist but…

    Basically when people lead and start with such comments as “I only date this or that” etc etc, it makes you sound ignorant period. Be open, there are a lot of fish in the sea, and you block yourself off from a lot great men out there by being hung up on the color of one’s skin.

  4. The majority of racists I have encountered lack the capacity to self-identify. They don’t “hate” other or certain races, they just want nothing to do with them on any level and would prefer a world with out them. They don’t understand that their un-evolved, tribalist, thinking is racism, and most never will. How dare you call them a racist! It is a “preference”. Well, your preference is racist. Just fix it or own it. Hitler had a preference too.

  5. Once again some gay men continue to prove they are stupid this is not about trying to make or force gay men to have sex with other races of men they don’t like or not attracted too.This is why some of you crazy posters keep missing the real point of this issues this is about sexual racism in the gay community in the year 2012 not the second century and some of you act as if other gays are trying to force you to have sex with gays you don’t like especially ( Black-gays ) and other non-white races.This is about gays and yes whites especially avoiding having sex with blacks and other races not because they are not attracted to them but because of the social and economical stigma of being in a relationship with a person of colors and the problems they are force to endure because of it.You can say what you want but sexual racism is alive and well and living in the gay community today and any gay person who think is dozen’t exist is a damn fool and a idiot too.How can we as a gay community expect to be treated with respect when we as a peoples continue stick our heads in the sands and pretend that sexual racism in our own gay community don’t exist that’s crazy? Those of you that are not living in the real world need to get a reality-check before it to late we are never going to defeat our enemies in this great country of ours if we can’t stop fighting among our selves long enough to keep our enemies from destroying us as a gay peoples when some in our community are still hung-up on skin-colors.And race while still acting like other are trying to force them into having sex with other races they don’t like are attracted too that is not the issues sexual racism is that’s the problem we are trying to solve so do your self a favor and get a clue and stop acting like a fool instead.Enough said?

  6. Where does it say that gay men must sleep with all other races of gay men? I think that those who cry racism promote the stereotype of gay men being promiscuous.

  7. I love black dick. I love latin dick. I love white dick, etc. Sexy is sexy in many different forms.
    This doesn’t mean haven’t been conditioned to make false, knee-jerk assumptions based on someone’s race,
    so there, yeah, racism.
    Part of being a decent human being is coming to terms with the bullshit you had shoved down you’re throat
    coming up and trying to figure it out so it doesn’t get in the way with how you deal with and treat other people.
    People who use the “sexual attraction is NATURAL” and “I’m just attracted to certain TYPES of guys” are deluding themselves.

  8. This is why I am so against gay marriage and tend to believe that the gays are hypocrites. The gays so want equality and equal rights and opportunity but treat other gays like shit. Just wait till the sodomy comes back to haunt your asses then you’ll be crying wolf.

    1. I’d like to know more about you, Brad. If you’re really gay, is there a reason for your self-loathing and working against your community? If you’re bi, did some man hurt you, and now you’re rethinking the whole gay thing? If you’re straight, why the hell are you posting on gay porn blogs?

    2. Huh. Just like racists and homophobes who make broad generalizations on these minorities you’re making an absurd one yourself.

  9. Saying you are not attracted to men with blue eyes or men with blond hair or men with olive skin is NOT racist, that is about personal preference, desire.

    Saying you are not attracted to “Latinos” or “Asians” or “Black Men” is racist, ignorant, illogical and offensive and based upon assumptions and preconceived notions about what those groups look like, act like, think like, etc.

    Latinos come in all shapes, sizes, shades.
    Blacks come in all shapes, sizes, shades
    Asians come in all shapes, sizes, shades

    You could line up 5 random Black or Latino or Asian men in a row and they wouldn’t look, sound, think, BE, ANYTHING alike (just like “White” men)

    Lumping all people who belong to a particular racial or ethic category into a group and treating them as one thing is exactly what racial/ethnic bias is about.

    There is no way in the world anyone can know if they are “not attracted to Asians” without having met ALL Asians. What kind of Asians? Laotians? Japanese? South Asians? Mongolians? I mean, let’s not act like we don’t know bias when we see/hear it.

    The entire construct of not being attracted to an entire racial or ethnic group is ridiculous.

    What if you can’t tell if a man is Samoan or Puerto Rican?

    What if he’s half black and half Filipino like Bruno Mars? Or Half Filipino but doesn’t necessarily look like it eg Darren Chris?

    You don’t have to have sex with anyone to whom you aren’t attracted and neither Connor nor anyone else I’ve heard speak intelligently about this topic has suggested you should.

    But you certainly can’t claim that it isn’t racist/biased/ethnocentric to treat Black/Asian/Native/Latino men as if if they have no individuality and only ever exist as a representative of their racial/ethnic group.

    Instead of talking about what you don’t like, why not just focus on what you DO like?

    If you’re not a bigot, it would be much more practical to say “I like tall, pale-skinned guys with red hair” or “I like olive-skinned dudes with green eyes and big feet” or WHATEVER, instead of worrying about their ethnicity or racial background?

  10. When you go “I’m never sleeping with X race”, what you’re saying is “I refuse to acknowledge that this race can have people whose appearances, personalities, body types, etc. are as varied as whichever race I prefer to date/sleep with”. Like Conner said, it’s dehumanizing. It’s lumping an entire group of millions of people into a narrow subset where it’s presumed that the fact that they share a skin color tells you everything you need to know about them mentally, politically and in this case, sexually. The unwillingness to reflect on that and what that means and to just default to “but I’m just not attracted to them so you can’t criticize me” is cowardice, plain and simple. It’s a refusal to think about why you decided that of all the people in the world and all the features and body types in the world that you are and aren’t attracted to, this one racial group apparently has all the features you find sexually repulsive or undesirable. People’s preferences aren’t born in vacuums. You weren’t born with certain presumptions about the sexual availability and desirability of certain races. That a guy can have every single features you may be attracted to, but give him darker skin and you’ll suddenly never want to sleep with him is ridiculous and to say that isn’t racism is deluded.

  11. Ok, whatever…

    If you’re attracted to white, arab, or black guys because of the way they look (i.e. you like blondes, people with blue eyes, people with dark skin, etc.)…you’re not a racist. Sexual attraction is primarily based on physical appearance and is natural. It’s not your “fault” and it’s not racism.

    If you’re attracted to white guys because it’s a great way to be invited to the best pool parties, they’ll treat ya right, or because you never know when you’ll need a co-signer….you’re a fucking racist.

    Ditto if you don’t date other races because you don’t want black guys to get fried chicken grease all over your sheets, you prefer not being stabbed or because you’re pretty sure you’re not a size queen; or because you already have a calculator and ARE a size queen so you don’t need an asian guy; or you don’t really like dancing or beans, so latin guys are out. Or any other reason that has nothing to do with physical appearance.

    I’m so sick of this debate consistently missing the obvious point that racism is racism. Who you are physically attracted to is not racism. Period. Is there gay racism in the gay community? You betcha, loads and loads of it. But whose ass you are attracted to does not make you part of the problem.

  12. Hummm…..Conner starts out with one concept and moves on to others without really answering the question. Kind of like a political debate. There is no such thing as sexual racism and I fail to see why someone would get pissed because of the pigment of their skin or gender or religion was a reason why you would decline sexual relations. You don’t owe anyone an explaination as why you’re not attracted to them. So until you can read my mind….

  13. Racism exists in the gay community..sexually and otherwise..it’s amazing how we frown on the way we’re treated by straight society.. yet we do this to each other..BLACKS ….WHITES….LATINOS ETC alike!
    Sometimes i believe it would be best to us all to stick to our own!

        1. Well, I think the point being made here by commenter (and Connor) is that it’s not just “that simple” — that often our own cultural barriers affect what kinds of people we are (or allow ourselves to be) attracted to (e.g., people of different races, colors, types, etc.), but that if we expose ourselves to different kinds of people in our regular life, that often “who we are attracted to” begins to change, because we see the human being, the whole person, behind the skin color or race.

          So, yes, you may look at yourself and say, “I’m just not attracted to people of XXX race” and say, “It’s just that simple,” but this can, and often does change, if we are open to it, and sometimes even if we are not. Life can take us by surprise, especially if we take chances to open ourselves up to other kinds of people. But, yes, if you just make a decision to live a dull, sheltered life, always only interacting with “our kind” of people, and you hold on tight to your preconceived notions or others, yes, it IS possible that you’ll never break through your own barriers, and you’ll never change. Hurray for you.

          1. I’ll go out on a limb here. I’ve sucked white dick and sucked black dick. And I find many black guys attractive, not all but many. And I find many white guys attractive too. Not all but many. But I shouldn’t be expected to be attracted to other races beyond, well just because. I certainly don’t expect it of anyone else.

  14. For a while now Conner-Habib as started to prove he is a ( Nut-job ) some of the things he has said and done lead me to believe that is the case with him.Here it is 2012 and we still have gay white racist’s in the gay community am I to believe that gay whites are a product of their environment and up-bring which may include are involve some form of racism.And that why gay whites are having a hard time over coming it when we still have to fight for our rights and deal with [ homophobia and Bigotry } from hetero’s in our daily lives in this country and even from our own relatives and parents.And we got gay whites who are engage in sexual racism if that’s the case then gays need to get rid of that rainbow-flag their always waving around rather then see that a gay black man can fuck a white guy ass just as good as another white man can even with a bigger dick.What happen to that old saying { Variety is the spice of life } and not racism? We are never going to win our battles with anti-gay bigots in this society if we keep fighting each other instead and not our enemies? which will make them very happen to see gays loose our battle for gay rights in this great country of ours.Attacking other gays for the colors of their skins is not right and even gay whites should have enough sense in their heads to figure that out with-out other gays having to tell them that and just because you live in a country that’s still obsesses with skin-color and racism dozen’t mean you have to join them are get in bed with them either? I’m jut saying enough said!

  15. if you don’t want to have sex with black guys, it doesn’t mean you are racist. no need to overcomplicate things…

  16. This guy deals with this “issue” impressively. Personally, I don’t believe in race. Race was an idea developed in the 1850s to argue for the idea of superiority. I see people that are white or Black that have similar characteristics – e.g., they look similar and vice versa. People have different colors and shapes, like cats and dogs, once you discriminate in regard to what you are attracted to, what you find appealing, according to, what – color? Because I don’t know what you use to distinguish race – then you are discriminating. I don;t see why it would make any difference if you are attracted to some coal black dude or woman. Maybe you like Black Cats they seem to appeal to you most, but if you look at them closely not all of them are the same, some might be unappealing and that doesn’t mean you’ll never find a white one or even a calico that you think – wow – cool cat.

  17. Of course sexual racism exists, especially in the gay community imho. It hasn’t been discussed much because somehow being gay excuses all the closed-mindedness one can have, and issues like this always end up being justified.

  18. Honestly? Out of all the issues out there for gay folk to worry about, the color of your bed desire is not high on my list. Now if you you have the need to throw out terms like “rice/dinge queens” then please leave the adult table. Otherwise, not sure why anyone really cares about this.

    1. Some people care because they got rejected by someone else of another race and feel they have the right to claim racism. Sad really.

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