That’s what someone—a man!—is claiming, in a fun new book full of fun Rick Perry gay sex rumors, written by openly gay former Texas legislator Glen Maxey. The book is a collection of anecdotes and personal accounts, so there really isn’t any “proof” that Perry is gay, but he is, so everything in the book is true.
Closet-dwelling Rick Perry isn’t just insanely gay, he’s also apparently a smelly, baby-dicked, bumbling klutz who doesn’t know how to open doors.
The [Craigslist] posting asked for someone willing to unlock the door, turn off the lights, and lie face-down on the bed, legs spread. [Texas real estate agent] James replied to the ad, and did as instructed. As he lay on his bed in the dark, James heard someone struggling to open the door. Shielding his eyes, he ran out and opened the door…. “He jerked down his shorts,” [James said], “It lasted about a minute. He had a little dick. It was the worst fuck of my life. And on top of it all he stunk because he had been jogging. He then pulled up his shorts and put the used condom in his pocket.”
As the mystery man tried to leave James’ apartment, he struggled with the front door, which had a tendency to jam. The man started yelling for James to help him…. As James opened it…his face was illuminated, and seen by James for the first time.
“Oh my God,” thought James. “I just got fucked by Rick Perry!”
This must have been so embarrassing for him, our Queen Rick Perry!