I Just Had Lunch With Jeff Stryker At Applebee’s And All It Cost Me Was $1,020

Jeff Stryker is a gay porn legend who recently announced that he would be going back on the road to meet fans for lunch, at a rate of $1,000 per lunch date. That fee doesn’t include the cost of the actual lunch, so just sitting down with Jeff will already run you $1,000 before you’ve even ordered an appetizer.

But it has always been a dream of mine to meet Jeff Stryker, so I decided to spend the $1,000 and set up my lunch date with the king of gay porn. Because I was already going to be spending $1,000, I decided to pick a restaurant that was within my budget. I chose Applebee’s.

Let me tell you, it was delicious.

We started with Applebee’s world famous Spinach & Artichoke Dip, which includes a warm crock of creamy spinach, tender artichokes, and melted Asiago and Parmesan cheeses served with freshly-made Spicy Chipotle Lime Salsa and tortilla chips. Each bite literally melts in your mouth, much in the same way I imagine Jeff Stryker’s big cock would melt in my mouth if I had had the chance to suck it, but this was just a lunch date.

Keeping to my budget, I had Jeff join me in ordering from Applebee’s savory yet sensible “2 for $20” menu, which includes one appetizer (the aforementioned spinach dip), and two entrees.

During our 1-hour lunch, Jeff Stryker and I talked about his old movies and what it was like being a gay-for-pay porn star back in the 1980’s. Did he ever have trouble maintaining an erection in those pre-Viagra days? How did he avoid catching HIV in those pre-condom days? Did he ever consider bottoming? Jeff answered all of those questions, and he even allowed me to look underneath the table where I could see the bulge and outline of his penis through his tight jeans. Jeff had the Fiesta Lime Chicken; I had the Double Crunch Shrimp.

Meeting Jeff Stryker was the highlight of my life. It was the best $1,020 dollars I ever spent, and I’m so grateful to Jeff for leaving the tip ($3.00). If any of you have $1,000 extra dollars lying around, you should most definitely treat yourself to an enlightening lunch with the true king of gay porn. If only I could have afforded dessert. I would have had the Triple Chocolate Meltdown®.

26 thoughts on “I Just Had Lunch With Jeff Stryker At Applebee’s And All It Cost Me Was $1,020”

  1. My name is David….davidraytx@yahoo.com…. couldn’t believe that Jeff Stryker is still alive…Thank GOD… I think that name is his porn name….Anywho…. I live in Houston and was told by some folks that he was a nice man….BIG cock and all. Ive watched some of his movies and of course, jacked off. Id love to meet him…my mother just passed away in Feb….I was her caregiver over the years and when we needed Hospice…she was 80….but looked in her 50’s. If I could talk to Jeff….Id love it…..although Im sure it will not happen. By the way….He is a very good looking man….My number is 281-443-2050. My mother Helen, has some beautiful clothes…. If his mom is still with us….or if he is married…. I would be more than happy to let him pick some of clothes…..this is a 4 bedroom house…one broom has 6 commercial clothes racks…..filled to the brim…

  2. Why would anyone pay that kind of money to just have lunch with a porn star whose career was washed up almost 2 decades ago?

    Even when he was looking his best a quarter century ago, $1,000 for an hour with him shold have bought you a lot more than lunch:)

    Seeing $1,000 could buy you more than an hour with almost any hot guy on that site and a lot more than lunch, I can’t imagine Jeff’s phone is ringing off the hook:)

  3. I’m sure Jeff is grateful that you had lunch with him. I can’t imagine there are many people taking him out to lunch at that crazy rate of his …..(Besides you), who would admit to spending $ 1K to be with this ‘legend’ ? Applebee’s was a bad choice, considering their hiring plans to ‘offset’ Obamacare. Yet another company to not support.

    1. Yes he certainly turned into a true daddy! Also I think he’s in the live action movie called Demonic Sex, which is a bout a really extreme fetish gay comic.

  4. hilarious article!! i read it at work and tried to conceal how hard i was laughing at my desk (it’s not easy pretending to look busy). i especially cracked up at the part where you invited him to join you on the ‘2 for $20’ menu.
    he’s had his day in the sun and i can’t help but wonder if you are the only lunch date he’s had thus far.

  5. Dawn Langley Simmons

    Zach your humor is corrosive, i love it. You sicko. I think Jeff Stryker would be a gentleman on any date, especially at this price.

    1. Karl Rove's Mama's Dead Vag

      It’s satire, dumb dick! Huckster Rudolph didn’t corner the market on acidic comedy. Ever heard of Stern or I could list two dozen others.

      In the previous century, queens like you…ya’know, fuck this…you CAN NOT reason with idiots who speak, simply to speak and have no understanding of comedy or art(put the latter in 96-point German Bold Italic)

      It’s like someone tells you in deadpan seriousness that Dane Cook is the funniest man of all-time. Why waste the energy debating?

      The #7 bus will eventually mow them over while they’re mesmerized by a sparkly spot in the road. It’s inevitable. Suffer through until man or nature takes the dumb ones down & out.

      How on Earth do you find your car at Aldi?

      Whew! Shit!

  6. $200 for 20 minutes of “seeing the man directly talking to you” on Skype! I wonder what the going rate for that sort of thing is if it’s an unknown but good-looking dude who gets his kit off. Probably less.

    Two hundred dollars should get me 20 minutes with a cute twink in the buff, not 20 minutes of having to listen to some long over the hill leathery ken doll with a cock I am indifferent about (I almost feel as if I have to apologize for this, but I am not a size queen and as Eurotrash prefer penises with the prepuce still on). And even then I’d spend it on something else instead.

  7. He is too much expensive for a 47 year old used whore. In the same rantboy people interested in rent a escort can find fresh meet for $300 – the most expensive ones – and can do much more than only have a nice talk ( Something like: ” Meet the Prostitute ” here? ). Do the math 3 for the price of one and you save $100. I didn’t know him well till now but it seems that he is ‘ straight ‘, married and with kids… L.O.L …
    Judging by the photo it’ll be all this money for talk with an old elf with a bad hair ( tinted too…) while you keep thinking in his salami that you never will have.

    1. OMG! you just read my mind!

      I can’t imagine why anyone would be interested in having a conversation with someone like Jeff Stryker… or having lunch at Applebee’s (not sure which is worse)

    1. A friend and I drove to a club in Ft Lauderdale to see him back in 89. We found out at the door the cover was $25.00 so we left…. Inflation is worst than I though.

      1. There are some drag queens (who are just a couple of inches taller than Mr. Stryker) that drive cover charges even higher than that.

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