Hey guys. After already testing positive for HIV twice at the Abbey in WeHo last month, I still wasn’t quite convinced that I really did have it. Even though I won $83 in the Cash Grab Machine and even though I was entered to win that brand new Fiat, being told that you have HIV two times really sucks, but at the same time (two times), why should I trust what two different people inside a van tell me outside of a bar on two separate occasions? So, yesterday I drove down to San Diego and decided to get tested for HIV for a third time, and then I went to visit my favorite Hillcrest cupcakes and cocktails lounge, Babycakes!
Ever since testing positive for HIV two times in a row, I have been looking for the “meaning” behind it all. But what if the meaning all along was that I wasn’t meant to have HIV, and therefore I simply didn’t have it? Everyone knows those HIV tests are not 100% accurate no matter how many times you take them, so is there any way to really know if anyone has HIV? Like they say, even a broken clock is wrong two times a day.
Going to San Diego was my way of seeking out the truth. Completely different city, completely different HIV test results, right? Unfortunately, for the third time in a row, the truth is still the same: I tested positive for HIV. But on the bright side, everyone who gets tested in the Hillcrest HIV testing center receives a free “buy 1 get 1” coupon for a yummy and delicious cupcake!
I may have just found out that I have HIV for the third time, but at least I got a coupon from Babycakes that allowed me to receive one free cupcake after buying another cupcake at full price.
SAN DIEGO — Being Alive HIV/AIDS Services will conduct free HIV testing on Tuesdays at its Hillcrest office. To sweeten the deal, the organization has teamed up with Babycakes to offer an incentive for those who take advantage of the free testing offer. Being Alive will offer “Buy 1 Get 1 Free” cupcake coupons from Babycakes, a popular cupcake and cocktail bar in Hillcrest.
Christopher Stavros, owner of Babycakes, said his company is pleased to support Being Alive’s efforts. “We are pleased to team up with Being Alive and offer an incentive for people to get tested to know there status,” Stavros said.
Unfortunately, I went to San Diego by myself and didn’t have a friend with me to split the cost of that initial cupcake that would have entitled us to the free second cupcake, and I only had enough money to pay for the Amtrak back home to WeHo! So, I had to leave Hillcrest with the coupon unused. For those of you keeping score at home, that’s HIV: 1, Cupcakes: 0. (Well, technically it’s HIV: 3, Cupcakes: 0 but who’s counting.) Of course, I have HIV now, so maybe I should be eating better anyway?
If anyone wants my Babycakes cupcake coupon, email me and I’ll send it to you.
Zach, I’ve always held you in limited high regard but as someone who is + and dealing with it, there is a better way to get a laugh.
You are better than this.
This is the third such offensive post. From my perspective, Zach isn’t better than this. This is what he is.
i don’t quite understand what your trying to get across with these tasteless posts about testing positive for HIV. am i missing the “joke” here? i mean i get that it seems ridiculous to be tested in a van near a bar and then get some kind of silly incentive but you do realize that not everyone has a doctor or medical insurance. homeless people or runaway kids gay or straight can take advantage of this method and also get connected to other organizations who can help with lots of other issues like drug addiction, wellness support, assisting the homeless, ect…. by the way zach what do you do to help your community? with so much obvious bullshit everywhere now a days that you could write satirical posts about do you really think making fun of Being Alive is actually humorous? why don’t you try volunteering for Being Alive and maybe you can educate yourself about what they really do.
Perfectly reasonable as your comments and questions may be, you’re addressing Zach as if has any sense of basic decency. I wouldn’t count on getting through to him.
Keep testing yourself. One day a test will not only claim you are negative but you also win some big prize like a bottle of lube!
I really don’t understand any of this but I do know that safe sex is sooo important …be careful you guys! Slurp kiss, hug , F-U-N!! They should do this kinda story on Modern Family!!!
This shit is too funny! I hope you go to San Francisco to get tested for the 4th time.
Haha I almost forgot about one of these incidents. About 7 years ago I was on my way to a Soundwaves here (it’s a music shop that has slowly become more about skater/hipster clothing than music). On my way there they were doing on-the-spot HIV testing can’t remember the name of the organization though. They were giving away a $5 gift card for Soundwaves so I went ahead and took one lol.
Yes there were a good number of homeless young guys there, and the majority were gay seeing as how this place was located in the gay community here in Houston. I tested negative thankfully.
You best hand that coupon over! Summer is over and I’m HUNGRY, HUNTY!
These posts where you joke about testing positive are not humorous at all. Kidding or not sometimes you go too far for a laugh.
Ditto from me. Über-jaded, twisted, and not funny at all.
Is this blog supposed to be about so much about its writer? I had thought it was more about porn.
In our gayborhood, I just saw the latest offer with your HIV test …. it was a free slice of pizza and something else dumb that I’m forgetting right now. I guess it’s a good incentive for the homeless or the hungry.