I Receive An Email: “IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT”

An email from MachoFucker.com.

Hardcore bareback website MachoFucker.com had its first “private sex party” over the weekend in New York City, and this email is from someone on the party staff. (And no, in case you’re wondering, I was not at the party; this email went out to everyone on MachoFucker.com’s mailing list.)

From: mfparty@machofucker.com
Subject: Post-Party Info
Date: August 5, 2012 1:01:37 AM EDT

Dear party guests,

My Managing Director Serge and I as the owner of PLANTA ROSA PRODUCTIONS S.L., who have sponsored the first MF-LIVE private sex party in New York, want to apologize for the events that took place after midnight, although we were not responsible for them.

For all those guests, friends and supporters, who haven’t heard the news yet, here is (roughly) the chain of events that happened:

Two police officers (real ones) appeared at the door, right when the models were on the way to their first performance. An unidentified person had made a complaint. The owner of the penthouse explained that it was a private gay party, showed the lease contract and after a little “there and back” the officers left, because they had no reason to intervene.

Therefore the first performance started later than announced.

An hour later or so, just before the second performance of Peto Coast and Kriss Aston could begin, a lady appeared at the door, claiming to be from the “health department”, saying she was called by the police.

To make a long, sad story short, here is what we learned the days after thins event:

1. the police had never called the health department (what for anyway?)

2. the health department would never appear unaccompanied by police officers to raid a place, if she were legally allowed to

3. she had absolutely no reasons and therefore no right to enter the private apartment without a warrant

4. she “confiscated” the donations for entry and drinks, which she would legally not have been allowed to (see above)

5. even if she were allowed, the money was neither counted nor a receipt of the confiscated money and alcohol was issued

6. testimonies and circumstances are proving that a former model of our site, was involved in this theft and attempt to ruin the event. It was a set-up, a scheme, the donations simply stolen.

7. additionally, a smaller amount of the donations, that were not handed over to the “fake lady” from the health department, was stolen from a member of the security personal, that was hired from our US-American party organist and who was described as “competent, experienced and trustworthy” LOL

However, investigation is on the way.

Our team decided to compensate every party guest with:

1. the brand new DVD HOLE WRECEKR 4 (instead the one of the older releases our guests could choose from)

and

2. a free password for MACHOFUCKER.COM, valid for 30 days.

IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT

We ask all party guests to send an email to:

COMPENSATION@machofucker.com

containing your name and your delivery address.

We will check your info with the names and addresses we have in the book that was laid out for our party guests to order the DVD included in the donation packet.

A significant number of guests did not put their names and delivery address in this book. To verify that you have actually been a participant of the party, please answer the following two questions:

1. On which side after you entered the door the entrance donation was paid, on the left side or on the right side?

2. Was our bartender a White dude, a Latin (or mixed-race) dude or a Black dude?

3. what did you think of the “SET” the show took place on?

We look forward hearing back from you all and hope to see you at our next MF LIVE party sometime in August/September, here in the Big Apple.

Mario, Serge and the team of MF LIVE

Possibly the best email I’ve ever received.
 

18 thoughts on “I Receive An Email: “IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT””

  1. “Performers” stripped down to their jocks only to be thwarted by Johnny 5-0 and a “fake lady.” Oh well, call the babysitter and tell her you’ll be home early.

  2. I’m crushed to learn that some of the proceeds from this hardcore bareback site’s private party were stolen. No doubt they were planning to donate the proceeds to an AIDS charity, perhaps to buy medicine for one of their uninsured actors.

  3. So why did they allow this woman to do all this if she didn’t have any legal right to? I would think someone would’ve caught onto this long before anything was confiscated. Almost sounds like an inside job.

    1. It’s amazing to me that people just handed their money over to a non-credentialed woman with no questions asked and it sounds like she was by herself too. I am truly amazed at the blinding stupidity of some folks. That must have been an Oscar-worthy performance. Anyone know where Meryl Streep was that night?

      1. The guy on the right appears to be Kriss Asston.

        I wonder if being HiV-positive was a requirement to attend this hardcore bareback website’s private sex party.

    1. They didn’t name the model because if they did and the accusation turned out to be false, they could get sued. No one needs that.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The maximum upload file size: 50 MB. You can upload: image. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop file here

Scroll to Top