It’s not enough that I write a highly trafficked and wildly popular blog that gets tons of cool comments. I need more out of life. I want to develop my own personal brand and market myself beyond the blogosphere and into mainstream television and movies. I want to be an actor.
Of course, in order to become successful in mainstream television and movies and possibly even music (I’ve always dreamed about being in my own boy band–but am I too old?), I need to do two things: 1. I need to lose a ton of weight, and 2: I need to adopt a more positive image.
So, from here on out, The Sword will be a POSITIVE ONLY website with only positive stories and news about how you can be a better person. I want to build people up, not tear them down. I want you to feel good about yourself when you come to my blog, and I want you to feel good about me when you come to my blog. So, from this point forward, I will only post stories about people who are nice and/or people who are doing nice things. I want to be nice. And I want you to be nice, too, so from here on out I will be strictly moderating all the comments. No more insults, no more negativity, and no more personal attacks. Only those comments that are encouraging and supportive will be approved, and the mean ones will simply be deleted.
As this blog becomes a nicer place where people can feel safe and can feel good about themselves, I can focus on losing all the weight I’ve gained since I started blogging. It’s almost as if each mean thing I said made me gain a pound, so hopefully each nice thing I say will in turn make me lose a pound!
I want to do cameos on television shows once I’ve lose weight. I want to use my new persona as someone who has lost weight and is kind to inspire other people to be kind and to cast me in their feature films. I want to be thin. I want to do more than just blog; I want to be a nice person. I want to help other people be nice to each other. And once I’ve done all that, I can transition from being a blogger to being a Hollywood actor and movie star. Wish me luck ;)
he had an acting career. didn’t everyone see him in that episode of the sopranos where he plays the clerk at rutger’s university who gets robbed by chris–the one where jackie jr was the getaway driver and pissed his pants?
Award-worthy stuff, there. A young, moderately Portuguese-inflected Lear, I tell you…
Yo Zach, I’m really happy for you… I’ll let you finish. But Perez had one of the best transitions from blogging to acting of all time!
By what objective standard, O Outmoded Gossip Columnist?
Perez sucks, big revelation. Glee sucks too and is drifting out of pop culture relevance.
Wait, was that Whoopi?
Hasn’t Mario always been just a grade-A famewhore anyway? I mean, hell, Nene Leakes has a sitcom now, and she’s not even a blogger.
Who’ll be the next big Glee guest star … Bobby Trendy? Perez Hilton + Glee = Slurpee headache.
Really Perez Hilton you want to be an actor, how nice for you. How about you go away like the other Hilton you know Paris so yesterday Hilton. I thought you and Lindsey were dreadful and full of yourselves on Glee. You both almost ruined the episode. You are so boring. Most if not all reality stars are boring. Can someone tell me why anyone cares about the Kardasian whores?