We’re sure that most of the guys reading this have douched at some point in their lives, but we doubt that you’ve ever cleaned out quite like this. This last weekend, patrons of the 2023 WHOLE Festival in Germany were not only able to access the festival’s advertised camping, skinny dipping, art installations, and mass amounts of electronic music, but they were also given the chance to utilize a supposedly first-of-its-kind douche station.
“Welcome to the pilot program of our douching station,” reads an infographic posted to the WHOLE Festival’s Instagram page. “We’re happy to offer this and ask you to help chip in to cover costs & maintenance. 5€ per use, payable by card only (you can tap your phone). Your cooperation in making this a clean & functioning situation is greatly appreciated.”
The festival, which caters itself towards queer audiences and collectives, even listed some pretty straightforward rules for anyone who chose to pay and use this station. Right off the bat, patrons are told that since this facility is a shower, they shouldn’t “try to push your main shit of the day down the drain” and to “use the toilet first”. They also recommend taking some psyllium husks to “get your personal plumbing lubricated for the weekend.”
Then, once you’re ready, all you have to do is grab a shower head attachment, clean yourself up, clean up the attachment, and return the device to be disinfected by staff. The Instagram slideshow promoting this douche station and its rules then closed out the post with a video of the shower attachment squirting water and with a caption that suggests they’re the first-ever festival to be offering this.
Predictably, the reactions to this Instagram announcement were fairly mixed with people either absolutely loving or hating the idea of a public douche station. One top comment stated, “Our community is so embarrassing,” while another read, “YAAASSSS! The queues for this will be the moment when we bottoms will finally realise we are many, gain class consciousness, and expropriate the tops of the means of sexproduction! First mission: to get every single top to pay for our douching!” Take a look at some more reactions below:
What about you though? Which side do you fall on? Are you pro or anti-douche station? Have you or would you ever clean out in one of these facilities? Let us know all your hot thoughts down in the comments!
View this post on Instagram
Decadence is coming hard in Germany. That sad! It was such an advanced country.
NakedSword needs to produce a public service video in detail showing again in detail the way douching should be preformed. Encourage a friend to help. Have fun doing it with a message to follow thru on cleaning up afterwards. No Shit In My Teeth.
Whatever the disinfection staff is being paid, it’s not enough.
Another sign of the Apocalypse??? When I’m going for a hang like that I’m prepping, douching and all before I go. Have some self respect people.
The idea that there are reusable douche heads is an abomination.
The rest nerds to be thought through. You can’t tell someone to do their “main shitting” in the toilet. Your body produces what it produces.
Design your system to accommodate humans.
I’m glad someone is doing this conceptually, but please think through the logistics.
We need to stop ignoring our digestive tract as the food processing center it is.