Instinct Magazine Tries to Drive Lovesick Old Man to Suicide

Michael writes, “I need your help, Joel. It’s simple: Where’s a good place for me to find love in Fort Worth? I’m 62.”

Joel writes that he receives questions about seeking love “ten times a month or more.” With all that practice, his response is bound to be good, right?  Well, Joel makes the intuitive leap that Michael “feels he’s damaged goods.” (Are we missing something? Where does Michael describe himself as damaged goods?) He then goes on to offer the inspired consolation that at least Michael doesn’t have “teen-age acne,” and that he ought to “find those perverts” who have Daddy fetishes.  Such kind, sage words!

Assuming that Michael hasn’t killed himself by this point in Joel’s response, Joel further suggests, “Try Silverdaddies.com.”
Or, even more genius: “Join an organization that does stuff you enjoy.”
And to close?: “Flashing a little nipple doesn’t hurt, either.”

Got that, Michael? Find a “pervert” online, get a hobby, and walk around with your nips hanging out just like the kids do.  And if that doesn’t work, well, maybe you were never meant for love. Much like Joel Perry was never meant for employment in the advice-giving arts. 

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Man to Man (Instinct Magazine)

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