From the gay man who brought you Grindr, it’s Blendr–the iPhone app for straight women who…just want to make friends. Because unlike gay men, straight women don’t care about having sex.
The Grindr founder talks to The Guardian:
Joel Simkhai, Grindr’s founder and chief executive, said the only difference was that Blendr is less focused on sex.
“It’s much, much deeper than ‘hey, do you want to go on a date?’,” said Simkhai. “It’s about finding new friends. It is very difficult to meet new people who are interested in the same things you are – Blendr will help solve the problem.”
Got that? Straight people aren’t interested in the shallowness of Grindr, like the sex-obsessed gays. Gays want to fuck. Straights want to meet people who share their interests. And just what “interests” are we talking about? What do straight people even “do” that is so much different than gays? Who can say? It’s much deeper.
Simkhai said he created Blendr after being inundated with requests from straight women who were jealous of their gay friends’ ability to use Grindr to meet people nearby.
The hell? They’re jealous, because their gay friends are getting laid. Still sticking to the idea that Blendr is just for “friends”?
But he said the new app was designed as a “friend-finding engine” rather than purely for sex and dating.
“It’s not the same as Grindr. It is similar to Grindr in that it’s a community based on interests. But while that was based on one interest – being gay – this is based on lots of interests,” he told the Guardian. “It could end up in a date, but the main goal is meeting new people.”
Interests! Dates! Meeting people! The gays can at least be proud that they aren’t treated with such euphemistic bullshit like these delicate, friend-seeking, straight women are, I guess.
While Grindr users are required to provide only the scantest of personal information, Blendr users are asked to fill in a survey of their hobbies and interests.
“This is so we can blend you with people in your area who share your interests and are similar to you,” Simkhai said. “We think these interests are the basis of how people form friendships. If you’re looking for someone to practice your German with, you can find other German speakers and have a chat right here, right now.”
Sexting in German!
Grindr has become something of a phenomenon among single gay people since it was launched in March 2009…
Single gay people…ha.
Simkhai claimed that Blendr will put an end to boring lunch breaks and solitary visits to art galleries and museums. “This is about seeing who’s about in the real world in real time. Whether you’re on the bus, in the checkout line or having a lunch break on your own you can meet new people,” he said. “If you’re sitting in the park all on your own there’s really nothing you can do about it – now you can do something about it with Blendr.”
Horrifying! What the hell is wrong with going to an art gallery or a museum by yourself? You know what sounds absolutely fucking amazing? Sitting in a park. By myself.
This is what is so sad about Grindr, and now it applies to Blendr (by the way, what’s with the aversion to vowels?) as well. This is what makes Grindr and the people who rely on it so depressingly mundane. Knowing who in your immediate proximity is similar to you or who is “hot” isn’t exciting; it’s boring. Because if you need a phone to tell you what you need to know about someone as opposed to having the actual person who is 50 feet away tell you themselves using verbal communication (German or otherwise), you’re a pussy. A lazy pussy. And to those who tout the convenience and technological wonder of apps like Grindr and how it is “the way things are” now, I would simply say that there is much more wonder–not to mention potential character building humiliation–in actually physically approaching someone who you think looks interesting and saying “hello” without knowing a single thing about them beforehand.
Blendr will also allow users to scope out clubs and bars for people they might be interested in meeting before they stump up the entry fee. The app shows photos of users who have “checked in” to nearby clubs, in a similar way to Facebook or Foursquare.
Ugh, leave me alone.