These excerpts come from a new book called Ultimate Starz. (“Starz” is how you spell “stars” if you’re cool and zany.)

One thing Jake Cruise has learned in his prolific career is that ugly guys can sometimes attract a surprising fan base. No kidding.

This particular guy had cellulose on his butt. He had buck teeth (he never smiled in his pics) and I thought it was going to be a disaster. He sold like hotcakes and is still popular today. Why? I don’t know. People saw something other than his fat and buck teeth and they liked him. It’s a crazy world.

Yes, any world in which a man like Jake Cruise can earn money by paying for sex is crazy indeed. Jake Cruise breaks down his business model:

There are two types of members. Those who join my site for the hot men and tolerate my being with the guys. The other type are the members who, for some odd reason, find me attractive. I have a straight woman in Seattle who is just bonkers about me. Go figure.

Then, as if daring the reader to go ahead and kill himself, Jake Cruise dishes on preparing for a scene:

Well, after trimming my beard and nose hairs, I shave my balls. Then I have someone take an electric trimmer to my back. No, not a lawn trimmer! Then if I’m going to bottom I clean myself out and play with a dildo for a bit to loosen the old girl up. And that’s about it. Oh, and I brush my teeth, too.

And we’re going to brush our brain.

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