Wanna puck? With the National Hockey League’s Stanley Cup Playoffs underway this week, the big, hard wooden sticks have us all horny. Here we look at our own all-stars from the contenders.

Up first: The eight teams from the Eastern Conference. I picked one jock from each team—representing Canada, Sweden, Russia and the good old U-S-A, these are the guys that would be great to score with:

1. Trevor van Riemsdyk (27, 6-2, 192)
Hometown: Middletown, NJ
Team: Carolina Hurricanes
Position: Defense

I have a special place in my heart for Trevor, who has followed his brother’s lead and helped the cause for promoting inclusion and fighting homophobia in sports. As he told the NHL about the “You Can Play” initiative: “I think it goes a long way, whether it's just doing little stuff like this, [or having] people know that the locker room is a place for everyone and you're going to feel included. As long as you've got a love for hockey, you'll be accepted here.”

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Last month, he also helped promote Pride Night at a Hurricanes game:


So, I wanna marry him already…and who am I to complain that he looks like this with his shirt off?

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Sup, bulge?

Where I’d cast him: Trevor is deep. He’s a story man. Icon Male...preferably with Roman Todd in a sequel to Boys of Summer.

2. Patric Hornqvist (32, 5-11, 189)
Hometown: Sollentuna, Sweden
Team: Pittsburgh Penguins
Position: Right Wing

I’m just gonna leave these right here for you…

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Big burly playoff beard or not, this man is a specimen. And it’s good to know his ball control is just as good as his stick work.

Where I’d cast him: My locker room fantasies are telling me Hot House is perfect for this total jock.

3. Tom Wilson (25, 6-4, 218)
Hometown: Toronto, Ontario
Team: Washington Capitals
Position: Right Wing

Tom has a reputation for being an imposing troublemaker who pushes dudes around and takes no prisoners. (I don’t see a problem?) He’s also part of the reining champion Stanley Cup team, so he’s doing something right.

He celebrates good, too. Here he is on vacation, all ripped 6-foot-4 of him:

 

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Nothing beats family time at the cottage

A post shared by Tom Wilson (@tom_wilso) on

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I wanna lick every crevice of every ab.

Where I’d cast him: This stud loves the water. A wet Falcon poolside romp sounds perfect.

4. Alexander Wennberg (24, 6-2, 196)
Hometown: Stockholm, Sweden
Team: Columbus Blue Jackets
Position: Center

Okay, Sweden…we get it! You’re the land of hot people!

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Oh, and Alex likes cuddling with puppies, too…

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I can’t even.

Where I’d cast him: This smooth Euro cutie is Bel Ami all the way.

5. Charlie Coyle (27, 6-3, 220)
Hometown: E. Weymouth, MA
Team: Boston Bruins
Position: Center

Hi Charlie!

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Lose. The. Towel. (and shorts...)

Where I’d cast him: Really getting a Sean Cody vibe from Charlie.

6. Nikita Kucherov (25, 5-11, 178)
Hometown: Maykop, Russia
Team: Tampa Bay Lightning
Position: Right Wing

The team favored to win it all. With Nikita leading the way, we won't complain (he’s on the far right)…


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I wanna collude with Nikita all night long.

Where I’d cast him: I’d love to see his skills in a Kristin Bjorn orgy. You just know he's packing a thick uncut beauty.

7. Connor Brown (25, 6-0, 183)
Hometown: Toronto, Ontario
Team: Toronto Maple Leafs
Position: Right Wing

Here's Connor. Shirtless. In bed.


I’ll keep you warm, Connor!

Where I’d cast him: Where else for this guy next door than (duh!) Next Door Studios?

8. Johnny Boychuk (35, 6-2, 227)
Hometown: Edmonton, Alberta
Team: New York Islanders
Position: Defense

Sadly, I couldn’t find much skin on Johnny, but with eyes (and pecs, and ass) like this, I have no idea how the ice hasn’t melted:

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Fuuuuuck, look at him stretch out that groin. He's gonna get in deep!

Where I’d cast him: A little more mature and handsome as hell, we’re gonna send Johnny to Raging Stallion.

Which one of these jocks is your favorite? Which Eastern Conference playoff hunks are missing? Let us know!