June 14th, 2012

Walking to the door I was greeted by Riccardo. His eyes were filled with tears, his face flush red. He instantly hugged me bursting into tears. Pulling away from his embrace he simply said 3 words.”We Lost Him”. My stomach dropped, blood rushed to my face. I thought “I don’t believe this fuck. Not MY Brother.” I dropped my bag where we stood and ran to the revolving door. Once inside without direction I was guided to a curtain were I could just make out your toe from a slight opening at the end. I threw back the curtain and there you were. Three doctors seemed to be cleaning up from what appeared to be an instense struggle. But it was over. You laid there unresponsive. I grabbed your foot the same one that had guided me to you but it was cold. I called your name but you just laid there, your massive body, naked and a patchy grey. I reached for your hand in hopes a tight grip would be returned, but it too was cold and limp. I wanted to desperatly hug you and shake you until you woke up but you were covered in blood.  Instead I stood by your bedside and stared into your face…Your eyes looked back at me, but they were dark and that’s when I really knew you were not waking up. You were gone. You left me, the biggest piece of me died there with you.

Erik Rhodes’ twin has started a Tumblr and written a heartbreaking letter to his deceased brother.

21 thoughts on “June 14th, 2012”

  1. Can you help me this question?

    Why Erik felt disappointed and why people blame on him so much ?
    but I do not know exactly what it is.

    And then

    Erik is not the only gay porn star, why is it like he did something wrong or guilty.

    Gay porn star is okay, just a job

    Because you know, there are many other disgusting jobs.

  2. I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my sister too. ugh… it really sucks and changes your life forever. Try to live life to its fullest for your brother!!! big hugs & love… Miss you Erik!!!

    1. I do apologize if the use of the word ambisexual was offensive, I was just referring to the fact that Jack has become a popular nickname for women as well as men. Thank you for the confirmation though.

  3. I thought Erik died in his sleep at home? Why would they move his corpse to the ER or hospital and not declare him dead at his place?

    1. Maybe he had the heart attack in his sleep at home but when he was discovered, got moved to a hospital where they attempted some kind of heart surgery?

  4. this is creepy and weird. I can’t read this tumblr since it is exactly like HIS and the pic as well… just too close for similarity and tone. I DON’T WANT TO KNOW!

  5. It’s so weird how I felt sad about Erik passing, I never care when a celebrity dies, but I ‘grew up’ watching Erik on screen. so sad. I hope he’s going to a better place.

    1. I presume that Jack is his wife. James mentioned that his brother married some years ago and it is possible that her name is something like…Jackie, and they use an ambisexual nickname to refer to her.

  6. Is the brother gay too? I’m surprised Chi Chi Larue isn’t all over this, trying to market another “controversial” film like her criminal cocks line. Her next film: “Back From The Dead And Horny As Hell”

  7. That was a really touching and powerful text , you can tell he wrote it with his blood almost…Tragic story, my condolences to him…I know how it feels but never could have formulated it so beautifully, I hope the writing helps him .

    1. It seems he has the same gift Erik had for evocative writing and emotional honesty. I’m glad he’s started blogging but it’s a shame it’s under these terrible circumstances.

  8. Ive lost three siblings…. all before they had a chance to turn 50. Reading that entire tumblr was very sad and reminded me of my own losses. It is a reminder …. no matter how bitchy we can be about other peoples choices…. they are someones child or sibling

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