It’s a good thing that he who laughs last laughs best as this time the joke is definitely on us.
Confession time: I am a big porn nerd who hopes for a great scene that I can’t wait to turn you on to like a hot new club or restaurant. But this morning, short of having a turbine wired to your cock, ain’t no turn-ons here.
The video is 28:15 long. But when you combine the interview, the BTS, the “skit” that ends round one, and six minutes of a dickless 69 at the beginning of round two, we’re left with 14:30 of footage that’s around eight minutes too long. The still images are the most wankable part of today’s update.
Kaleb and his tight, ripped body look great for sure. So does his “show-er” of a cock. But the perpetual hard-on Lane has when there’s even a stiff breeze blowing is largely absent today. That means Kaleb’s cock didn’t go from “show-er” to “grow-er” when it needed to.
When Kaleb isn’t giggling, he’s moving like he doubled up his Ritalin dosege. The result is spastic, sophomoric, and as unsexy as it sounds. The rapidity doesn’t obscure the fact that if he slowed down, his dick would fall out. The long stroking he gave Manny and Brysen are nowhere to be seen today. Neither is any decent pole in hole footage.
There’s the key to setting up Kaleb for success: he needs a gay guy who is palpably into him the way Manny and Brysen were to make it work. Lane just wants it into him. He can channel his pleasure zone purely physically. That means something spongy in that well-traveled tunnel isn’t going to do the trick.
There’s treasure waiting in that untapped ass of Kaleb’s. It’s time to go on a treasure hunt.
Round two ends with standing doggie that lets both Lane and Kaleb rain their cum down on the camera lens. Frankly, it sounds hotter than it actually is. But it’s how round one ends that’s the deal breaker.
Lane is limp as a chimp in piledriver. Kaleb cums on Lane’s hole, gets an ATM from Lane, then a kiss. Then he just leaves. Lane tells Mr. Camera he’s been ditched. He also faux-pleads for Kaleb to come back so he can jack while he sucks Kaleb. Kaleb acquiesces for about 10 seconds, then decides he “outta there.”
Mr. Camera asks Kaleb, “are you going to let Lane cum?” It all becomes clear. They are letting the neophyte top run the show instead of offering up any actual direction and the importance of the money shot to their paying members.
[Watch “Lane & Kaleb: Bareback” at Sean Cody]
Apparently, Sean Cody thought it would be OK to give us a sit-com skit instead of cum shot as they turn Kaleb and Lane into Lucy Ricardo and Ethel Mertz, complete with an added laugh track.
Sorry, Lucy, Ricky was right: you don’t belong in the show.
true. this video was not that good. he is getting better as a bottom, but it still isn’t that very sexy thing that I look for. It just seems a little immature. Perhaps it was just a little hot to me because I knew him personally as this “straight” guy named George. he then started posting many porn-esque photos and thenI got an ad for him one day and it was too hard to believe.
Sometimes sex isn’t sexy. Trust me, my bedroom was across from my parents’ and I could hear everything.