–not only because they don’t actually get naked and penetrate each other graphically (in several positions complete with close-ups), but because we also can’t afford the clothes or the accessories that they ARE wearing.

In the following excerpt from a fashion spread in December’s Dazed & Confused magazine, photographer Brett Lloyd turns his predatory flashbulb on Ash and Josh. Styled by the enviable Nicola Formichetti, the boys climb onto each other’s backs, romp around in the sack wearing Mom’s jewelry, open up wide for a bejeweled handgun, and straddle one another over a mattress and an animal pelt. Whine as we may, Lloyd and Formichetti teach us, yet again, that sometimes innuendo can be hotter—and chicer—than the real thing.