century didn’t process the concept that these were gay entertainers. Forced to do their minstrel acts mostly for sitcom and game show audiences, these “perpetual bachelors” of yore sprinkled a little bit of fag dust into every suburban household, and taught a generation of louder, prouder homosexuals the basics of comic timing. Today, however, we take a glance at a different sort of species inhabiting Hollywood’s glass closet: the dashing leading man.
He was the hunka-hunka burning star flesh who took Hollywood by storm in 50s fare like Magnificent Obsession and Giant. He played opposite all the hotties of his day, from Elizabeth Taylor and Cyd Charisse to Lauren Bacall and Gina Lollobrigida and slept with every famous gay from Tony Perkins to Armistead Maupin. The whole Hollywood leading man shtick kind of fucked Rock up, though, and right up until his death—when he became the poster boy for AIDS—he was totally closeted and lied to everyone including his then lover about his HIV status. He hid the homosex well up to the bitter end, but not so well that no one should have at least had a clue.
The Evidence Mom Ignored
Occupation: A-list actor who made his name in Douglas Sirk hyper-melodramas like All That Heaven Allows and Written on the Wind and later was paired with prudish cupie-doll Doris Day in films like Lover Come Back and Pillow Talk. The latter included a plot point in which he plays gay as a way of playing hard to get (see clip below).
4 out of 10 gay points
Appearance: dashing and handsome in a collegiate sort of way, but was never exactly rugged. Didn’t even look all that much the part when he showed up all AIDSy on that Doris Day show. 3/10
Demeanor: he practically invented “straight-acting.” 2/10
Beards: In 1955 there was what might go down in history as the first publicist-arranged gay marriage between Rock and his agent’s dyke assistant, Phyllis Gates. They were divorced 3 years later, neither remarried, and Rock was romantically linked in the press to a number of costars after that. 5/10
Minstrelsy: there was the whole gay act in Pillow Talk, as well as a similar inside joke in A Very Special Favor with Leslie Caron. And, uh, this amazing sauna photo shoot with Tony Curtis from Modern Screen magazine which was some kind of twinksploitation of its time. And we suppose we might mention here his mid-80s stint on Dynasty… you know, the one where he kissed Linda Evans and caused all that hubbaloo about her catching the AIDS. 3/10
Total Score: 17 points – Barely Any Smoke… (see scale)
We guess he wanted to stay in the closet pretty goddamn bad, and the star system helped keep that closet locked tight despite his fucking half the Kentucky State football team and keeping a leather poppers case with the initials RH on it (that tidbit comes from former fuckbuddy Armistead Maupin). We get why Mom thought he was straight, but just think of what he could have contributed to the modern homo universe had he had the cajones to come out sooner? You hear that, oh Will Smiths and Tom Cruises and Will Smiths of the world?
Now, a couple choice clips. First, we have the aforementioned bit from Pillow Talk, in which he fakes out Doris Day as one character on the phone, and woos her slowly by being such a “perfect gentleman” in person.
Then there’s this novelty item from the 1957 Academy Awards, in which Rock sings the duet “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” with none other than Mae West. All he had to do was smooch the old broad and he was done doing the obligatory hetero act for the cameras for another year.
Bea Arthur and Rock Hudson “Everybody’s Turning On”
Mom Thought He Was Straight?: Paul Lynde
Mom Thought He Was Straight?: Charles Nelson Reilly
Mom Thought He Was Straight?: Anthony Perkins
Mom Thought He Was Straight?: Elton John
Mom Thought He Was Straight?: Truman Capote
Mom Thought They Were Straight?: Village People
A source has leaked details to The Sword about a new fucky fucky extension that will not be beholden to any of Apple's pearl-clutching restrictions.
I don't take sex seriously enough to commit to a Master/slave dynamic, so instead I'll just read this new blog written by a 39-year-old British sub slut named Fang.
1. You know it's a leather orgy when everyone takes a moment between foreplay and fucking so they can put their clothes back on.
When I discovered that a friend of mine trims his chest hair, I told him to think of the children in Africa who have no chest hair to shave in the first place. Now I've found a fur-obsessed Photoshopper who is helming the good fight against body shavers everywhere.
The hypothesis: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo. The conclusion: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo.