Manuel Uribe has not left bed in six years. His peak weight was 1,257 pounds, but he’s since dropped down to a trim 814 pounds. Which practically makes him a twink. Uribe arrived to his wedding ceremony wearing a satin shirt and a white sheet, lounging in a bed draped in white linen and covered with sunflowers. He was carted to the ceremony on a very romantic flatbed truck.
Manuel’s most special wedding gift came from a few of his buddies, who constructed a special sex ramp modeled after the wedge-shaped sex furniture offered by a company called Liberator. “It’s time to teach your old doggie-style some new tricks,” is the company’s mission statement.
Manuel’s sex ramp — customized with a dab of said concrete — allowed his wife to find his penis, and then to fuck it. He confirmed to reporters, “We have finally had sex, and we are a true couple in the eyes of God.” Actually, we’re guessing that God was averting his eyes the whole time, but yeah, we get the point. You can just stop there, Manuel. Thanks!
Pictured below:one of Liberator’s sex ramps; Manuel and his bride; Manuel at the wedding.
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