Which ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ Met His End in a Chelsea Sex Dungeon?

Back in 2004, a dominatrix at a Chelsea sex dungeon called Pandora’s Box enlisted the porn star escort’s help in humiliating her mostly-straight client. When he arrived, the Restalyn-deducting stud was ushered into a gothic torture chamber by a stunning blonde Hungarian named “Mistress Barbarella.” 

Barbarella explained to him that she was 4 1/2 months pregnant, and before Nick could protest, she introduced “Master Nick” to his client, who was kneeling down on the floor naked. Capra recognized him immediately:

He had a muscular build and looked quite young. I’m sorry, but when I picture the clients that go to these kind of places, I envision someone that looks more like Woody Allen, or something. So, that was kind of nice. Mistress Barbarella introduces me to him as “Master Nick.” I like that! The dude peers up at me from the mat. Fuck me! It’s him. Fucking him! I more than recognize the dude. I had seen him in countless big screen movies over the last few years. (He was also in People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive Issue 2003. Not the cover model,though)

Jesus loves me! I cant believe I get to fuck this guy. What the fuck?! I can’t believe this guy is into such a heavy scene!

A full accounting of the event can be found on Capra’s blog, but we couldn’t not mention this:

The second my dick enters him, he arches his back and he starts singing at the top of his lungs, “Onward Christian Soldier”. What the Hell is going on here??

So which young, muscular movie stars made the Sexiest Man cut in 2003? We’ve looked in the People archives and eliminated the non-contenders — the sports stars, the TV stars, the non-muscular, the old people and the Clay Aiken — and arrived at these five possibilities:

1. Seann William Scott

Nick Capra Celebrity Blind Item

2. Hugh Jackman

Nick Capra Celebrity Blind Item

3. Colin Farrell

Nick Capra Celebrity Blind Item

4. Jude Law

Nick Capra Celebrity Blind Item

5. Ashton Kutcher

Nick Capra Celebrity Blind Item

We’ve got our bet on Seann William Scott Hugh Jackman Seann William Scott. Any takers?

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Pandora’s Box
(Porn Stud Blog)

19 thoughts on “Which ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ Met His End in a Chelsea Sex Dungeon?”

  1. Well, to narrow down even more….was the “actor” cut or uncut. Jude Law (uncut), Colin Farrel (uncut), Hugh Jackman (possibly).

  2. I don’t believe either Seann or Hugh are “mostly straight”. They are both gay as geese. I’ve got my money on Jude.

  3. I have to agree somewhat with Arkany, Hugh’s and Sean’s visibility and bulk of work is more a recent thing and Ashton is mostly a tv star other than a vehicle or two. Jude fits best(except the muscular part, he strikes me as toned/slim at that time) but I was hoping it was Hugh, he’s a Broadway-man at heart and him bursting into song while getting fucked wouldn’t surprise me at all. As for Colin, I’ve already seen his sextape; involving him in blind-items is redundant to me.

  4. I think I have figured it out. By going to IMDB and looking at each actors body of work during the time frame of 1999-2003 the actor with the most “Countless Big Screen Movies” is Jude Law. Outside of X-MEN and X2 Hugh really didn’t do a lot of major box office films by then . Ashton had 1 or 2 films and was mostly still working on That 70’s Show. Seann had a big hit with AMERICAN PIE and Colin did several a few films being nothing more than modest hits. So that leaves Jude who between 1999-2003 was in THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY, ENEMY OF THE STATE, A.I. ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE, THE ROAD TO PERDITION, and COLD MOUNTAIN. All of these films did well at the box office and for the most part were critically acclaimed as well. Besides anyone who went out with Sienna Miller has to have some issues. What do you think?

  5. I think we’re getting hung up on the year. Are we sure that Nick Capra has the right year? He may have used 2003 just to throw everyone off. Even if it was the right year, I’m still having a hard time believing this. Wasn’t this guy a big junkie back in the day, maybe he hallucinated this story.

    For the record, Seann hit it big with “American Pie” in 1999 and then the sequel a few years later. In 2003, Hugh had two mainstream movies, the first X-men movie and some chick flick with Meg Ryan.

  6. Was Seann really all that well-known in ’03-’04? Nick said, ” I more than recognize the dude. I had seen him in countless big screen movies over the last few years.” That hardly seems like Seann back in ’03/04.

    My $$ is on Colin Farrell, cause he’s a hot fucked up mess!

  7. Be it Seann, Colin, Hugh Jude … how annoying that any of them had to have such a hideous mouth-breather like Capra inside of them?

  8. Sean seems realistic, but I am seriously hoping it was Jackman. I think I might actually give one of my fingers to see Nick Capra and Hugh Jackman together. (without the pregnant Hungarian bombshell, that is)

  9. Clay Aiken, People? Choosing that dingle for a Sexiest Man Alive list is like electing Sissy Spacek to be prom queen: a colossal joke that’ll only result in sadness for those in the audience.

  10. I vote for Seann. If you’re crazy enough to spell your first name with two n’s, then you’re crazy enough to break out into a Christian hymn while you’re getting fucked.

  11. This was part of a degradation ceremony, and I don’t think there’s anything more degrading than sucking Demi Moore’s penis: enter Twitterbug Kutcher.

  12. Yeah, but how many times has Hugh been on that People mag list? I vote for Seann. But i don’t buy the “mostly straight” business.

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