“The lady doth protest too much, methinks” is a line from Hamlet often used when someone is trying too hard to convince folks of something. It’s sort of the iambic pentameter version of the crazy-big ‘roider with a little dick. I’m not sure if anti-gay Fargo Rep Randy Boehning has a small penis, but there are visuals available yes, another political bigot can’t keep it zipped. And he has plenty of company.
With a name like ‘Beohning,’ I supposed this was inevitable. The 52 year-old voted three times against North Dakota Senate Bill 2279 which would protect his state’s LGBT citizens from discrimination. Inform.com reports Beohning believed this scandal is political payback for those votes. So apparently, they cast their votes in North Dakota using Grindr?
Yep, a 21 year-old, politically unconnected guy named Dustin Smith was chatting on Grindr with user ”Top Man” last month and they exchanged pictures of both heads. Smith recognized Beohning from the newspaper, noted his anti-gay vote and dropped a dime on this duplicitous dolt.
Since that has all come out in the open, Boehning has this to say for himself. “The 1,000-pound gorilla has been lifted,” he said. “I have to confront it at some point.” Why do I fear there’s a good chance he’s just taking about his weight.
Rep. Randy Boehning joins an infamous club of self-hating fools who caused their own implosion from all corners of our great country, and their dirty laundry is as good as his … so let’s go back to 2011 for our first look.
From Indiana, we have a six-term, 64 year old, married Rep. Phillip Hinkle whose legislative accomplishments include supporting and voting for constitutional amendment banning gay marriage in the Hoosier State. His other hobbies include trolling Craigslist when he responded to 18 year-old Kameryn Gibson’s “I need a sugga daddy” ad. An iPad, a Blackberry, $100 and an alleged $10,000 shut-your-mouth bribe from his wife later, the mouth didn’t stay shut. But give the guy a break. He explained it all: They just talked about “baseball and the view.”
Apparently, the summer heat got to the GOP in August of 2011, especially in Puerto Rico for former Senator Roberto Arango. Puerto Rico might not be ready for statehood, but former Senator Roberto Arango will never be ready for Sainthood either. He was George W. Bush’s buddy in his 2004 Presidential campaign and voted against bills for gay adoption and civil unions. Labeled by the site Blabbeando as “virulently anti-gay” they also explained he used a pejorative for “rubber duck” in Spanish to mock gay San Juan Mayor Eduardo Bhatia. But when the Grindr images of him, on all fours no less, were published, he actually did have an explanation: “You know I’ve been losing weight. As I shed that weight, I’ve been taking pictures.” Did that app make his ass look big? Aye Dios Mio!
Venturing back to 2007, there’s Washington State Rep. Richard Curtis who voted against gay domestic partnerships and opposed the state’s bill prohibiting LGBT discrimination. He also voted for hooker/porn actor Cody Castagna. After a “kinky” tryst that included rope, a stethoscope and two gay porn vids. Castagna alleges he raw fucked the red lingerie-wearing legislator – who wound up being shy $800 of the agreed upon $1k fee. For his part, Curtis at first claimed he was drugged by Castagna, then claimed “did not solicit sex. I was trying to help somebody out.” Curtis also said, “I am not gay,” but I don’t think Mrs. Curtis believed him.
Then we have former Assistant Alabama Attorney General Troy King, known for calling gays the “downfall of society,” his vehement opposition LGBT rights, and his embarrassingly unsuccessful attempt to ban sex toys. I guess you don’t need dildos when you have the real thing. Seems he was a more than content getting real dicked by 24 year old J.W. Godwin – the homecoming king for local Troy University. Mrs. King caught them, kicked Troy out of their house and finally in 2010, voters kicked him out of the state house too.
Since the bell is about to ring today at the School for Scandal, we couldn’t leave just yet … after all, there’s something about Larry. Ahh, former Senator Larry “Wide Stance” Craig who was busted in 2007 for what they call in Minnesota “lewd contact.” Here at The Sword, we’d call it playing footsie in an airport tearoom and getting caught by the popo. Anti-gay as they come, Craig merits additional contempt for his role in helping to enact Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Too bad for Craig, that policy applied only to the military and not his former dick tricks who soon came forward with their stories that were almost as interesting as the one he told his wife.
Since they GOP never runs out of idiots …