OK, truth be told: Hallmark cards have always depressed us, no matter what the occasion. And say what you will about civil rights and the boon of mainstream recognition, but Hallmark marketing cards to the gays makes us long for the days of furtive encounters in the deep, dark closet.
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What you don’t seem to understand is that there are millions of gays with bad taste out there, and they have the God-given right to have their banal sentiments expressed for them by a conglomerate, just as the straight unwashed masses have always had. The next step is twangy, self-pitying gay-marriage breakup songs playing on country-western AM radio. Get used to it!