Now That ‘The Advocate’ Is Writing About Hookers, Does That Mean I Have to Start Writing About Legislatures?

Anyway, let’s meet some hookers! This month’s article, I’m a Hustla, includes interviews and photographs with a handful of sex workers, including the founders of $pread, “a magazine for sex workers by sex workers, and a fat lesbian who fucks men up the ass (no oral allowed). Here are my three favorites of the bunch.

Diago

There are warning signs: he shaves thug lines into his eyebrows, his name reminds me of Will Ferrell’s “San Diahhgo” in Anchorman, and he describes fucking men for money as art. But I still like him because he wears glittery singlet-tards and doesn’t mince words.

The Advocate: How is sex work different in the different cities you’ve worked?

Diago: Los Angeles is awful because it’s saturated with sex workers and the porn industry. People are all pains. It’s really gross. Miami is awful because people are so cheap. I’ve had guys be like, “What can I get for $150?” And I’m like, “You can go fuck yourself for $150. I’m not even going to touch you.” In Boston people are great. In D.C. people are fine. The West Coast? Not so good. The South? Awful. In New York people are professional. They sense that it’s a business. They’re paying for it, no questions. Whereas in places like L.A., they think I’m some broke-ass hooker doing this for crack, and I’m not. I’m a professional, just like they are.

Cory Koons

The official go-go boy of New York City is a Sword favorite. He once fucked an alcoholic furry named Plushie Schwartz, he writes a brilliant but woefully under-updated blog, and he repressed his gag reflex the entire way through his star turn as the pass-around bottom in a car mechanics’ gangbang for Raging Stallion’s Lube Job.

The Advocate: Do you hang out with other sex workers?

Cory Koons: I don’t think a lot of sex workers hang out with other sex workers…it’s easier when you’re used to detaching yourself from friends or society or family to do your job because you never know when you’ll get a call or what that’s going to interrupt. And you know, instead of making weekend plans, some times you want to make some money — which means staying at home and sitting in front of your computer.

Would you say events like the Hustlaball are important in that regard, to have a night to talk to other sex workers and be out?

CK: I think in the age we live in, any time people get together outside of behind their computer screens, it’s a good thing, because we as gay men are forgetting to how to socially interact with people. It’s really easy to get laid on the Internet; it’s a lot harder to get laid at a bar…

Master Avery

 

The Advocate: How did you get started?

Master Avery: I ran away from home when I was 16, and I met this stripper lady who took me in for a couple of months. She said if I wanted to make real money I should strip for men, because women wouldn’t hire me — I was too skinny. Six years after that I finally decided to give it a shot. I went to the local gay club and asked them if they had dancers. Ten minutes later I was up onstage with a G-string on. They taught me how to put a rubber band around my dick and make it look bigger. I loved it.
 
The Advocate: What’s the worst part of your job?

MA: Not knowing what I will do to make money when I’m 45. At 45 you retire from this business. I saw a guy at 60 advertising in Seattle, so you can still work, but his rates aren’t as high as my rates.

And how do The Advocate commentors react to this article? Here are some excerpts from actual comments. Again, this is how Advocate readers respond to an article about paying for sex.

Phil: With laws like DOMA in place that allow other states to dis-affirm marriage on the grounds that it is a same-sex union, people who choose to settle down are severely limited to the places where they can live out their lives according to their wishes.

Don Charles: Has The Advocate become a sleazy rag?

B: Interesting piece, but, like most Advocate content, lacking any sort of lesbian voice.

Luc: No one should be stigmatized, denied rights or persecuted because of their sexuality, or the unorthodoxy of their domestic situation.

These horrible, horrible people almost make me forget I don’t have a gag reflex.

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I’m a Hustla (The Advocate)

0 thoughts on “Now That ‘The Advocate’ Is Writing About Hookers, Does That Mean I Have to Start Writing About Legislatures?”

  1. 1. I never claim to quote the $Spread founders, 2. I’ll decide what is “unnecessary” around here, 3. My article contains no grammatical errors and 4. You have not had sex in a while.

  2. If you had actually read The Advocate interviews before you played bingo with sentence construction, you would have seen that the people quoted are not $pread founders. To top it off, your carnivalesque treatment of Veronica is not only unnecessary but purposefully distorts how she portrays herself in the interview. Maybe your goal was to distract the reader from your grammatical failings.

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