“Obviously, you look great in a swimsuit, so we can skip that. Nobody wants to see you in formal wear because you are too sexy out of it, another skip. You have just given lots of thought to the biggest question of the piece, so that leaves only the talent portion. Tell me what I’m going to be seeing in this talent portion. Or feeling. Or touching. Do I need to move any furniture for you to show me this talent?”

An interview question that uses over 80 words in seven sentences, each one seeming to cancel out the one before it. Is this the worst print interview of all time?

It’s hard to even call it a question. The interviewer, Patrick Sands (who the hell is Patrick Sands?), is clearly more interested in hearing himself type than he is in whatever his subject has to say. And what is his subject supposed to say after a question like that, anyway?

Here’s another one, from QueerMeNow’s guest interviewer Patrick Sands and his interview with Tate Ryder:

One of the unique things that you do, as your Facebook and Twitter followers are well aware, is offering Skype sessions. How did you come upon that idea and what is it like? I always thought “live shows” were tough for stars and viewers because typing with one hand is not easy for anyone. You are Tate Ryder, I’m guessing you can type with any part of your body, but tells us about a Skype session with you.

It’s not just the grammar or the sentence (paragraph?) structure of the question(s)—I’m willing to forgive anyone who is obviously struggling due to the fact that English is their second language, as is obviously (hopefully?) the case here)—or the fact that the same question is asked twice (“what is it like?” … “tell us about a Skype session with you?”), but rather the meaninglessness of the question. What is it like to have a Skype session with Tate Ryder? Who cares!

Also:

Here’s my main question about escorting in Los Angeles: No matter where one is in LA, everyone knows to say, “I’ll be there in 15 minutes,” knowing full well that it will take you 15 minutes to get out of one parking lot, and at least an hour to truly get where you are going. Do you have to factor in travel time? These are the secrets to escorting that I know everyone is dying to hear.

Everyone is dying to know about the secrets of escorting, and yet the question is about Los Angeles traffic.

More interesting than any of Tate Ryder’s one-sentence long answers to any of these questions is Tate Ryder’s reply to the QueerMeNow commenters who have taken out their flaming pitchforks in response to how awful this interview is:

This is Tate Ryder i agree with you, the questions are so boring and dull. Way too long, then I loose interest.

I was actually more interested in this interview because the questions were so bad. I’m sorry Tate was so bored (and I can understand why he would be), but isn’t awfulness fascinating? The worse something is, the more likely I am to pay attention.

 

 

8 thoughts on ““Obviously, you look great in a swimsuit, so we can skip that. Nobody wants to see you in formal wear because you are too sexy out of it, another skip. You have just given lots of thought to the biggest question of the piece, so that leaves only the talent portion. Tell me what I’m going to be seeing in this talent portion. Or feeling. Or touching. Do I need to move any furniture for you to show me this talent?””

  1. Anyone can call himself a journalist (see: TMZ or The New York Post); some of us have the sense to know that we’re not.

  2. I think the interviewer was trying (maybe naively) to inject some humour into a series of promotions for the hookies. We’re not talking Pulitzer journalism here.

  3. Is it true that Tate and Trenton broke up because Trenton cheated with a woman? I thought it seemed funny, and speculative; just wondered if anyone could substantiate it

  4. Wow, that’s a bad interview when the questions take up more space than the answers. I agree he probably didn’t give a fuck and kept his answers short and sweet to get the whole thing over and done with.

  5. It was clear from the start that Tate wasn’t feeling this interview. In many video interviews it doesn’t take a complicated question to illicit a detailed response from him. The man likes to talk, and likes to share a lot. He talked about douching and how much he likes to do it in that interview with Trenton they did I can’t find. While Adam Killian was interviewing him for an Auditions scene at LE he mentioned he spent the past new years engaged in a 2-day fistingfest with some guy. He never says whether he was the bottom fore it but I’m sure he took a fist at least a few times during those two days :)

    1. @sxg: One elicits something illicit… One does NOT illicit something illicit.

      Fondly,
      The Grammar Doucher

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