Search Results for: blowjob

As much as we love our three dedicated readers (Hello, Peoria!) there’s been no shortage of debate lately as to whether we’re actually homophobic, self-loathing sad clowns applauding the latest hate crime while humming “Another One Bites The Dust.” As homosexuals who love homosexuality (if not all homosexuals), we were thus encouraged to see the New York Observer take a few licks from the gay and gay-ish press over some new  homosexual nomenclature. After all, anything that confuses the village elders at AfterElton.com has to be good, right?

The greatest guy around (and serial romancer of women with vaginas), Ryan Seacrest, is blessing our souls with two more mind-numbingly idiotic reality TV series this upcoming Summer/Fall. The producer who gave us such American treasures as Sunset Tan and Keeping Up With The Kardashians is branching out from his E!-highlighted roots and bestowing Bromance on MTV and sweeping the nation in a search for contestants for his new NBC dating show, Momma’s Boy. The former stars (who else?) Brody Jenner as himself, putting contestants through challenges in hope of assimilating into his entourage. According to a press statement, “along the way, contestants will be whittled down via ‘Hot Tub Elimination Ceremonies’ after which rejected ‘bros’ will be asked to leave the bachelor pad dripping wet in a swimsuit, luggage in hand. Bringing to mind various dating reality shows, contestants also will have shots at a ‘group date’ and ‘alone time’ with Jenner in every episode.” However, the publicists neglected to specify if any of the aforementioned challenges would include blowjobs, anal fingerbanging, or artistic feats like consecutively giving Brody pearl necklaces of varying size and quality.

Each time we compile the top ten list for a given week’s gay photographic achievements, there are requisite quotas that must be filled. Yes, we must have a shirtless celebrity that got our collective blood pumping, normally there’s a porn star tossed in for good measure, and we even make sure to terrorize readers with something embarrassing, ugly, or downright dark. Catching us off guard like a double penetration while blindfolded, this week offered up some new alternatives to this trend!

In a magical move certain to further confuse and enrage the Red States, a Facebook app called SGO (Sex Gender Orientation) has launched which allows users to fully describe their sex, presentation and preferences using all of the many options available to the modern pre- or post-everything tranny or genderfucked cisman. One may select from 7 different sexes (including eunuch, MTF, FTM); 6 different transition statuses; 11 gender identities (incl. bigender, genderqueer, third, fourth, or androgyne); 8 gender presentation options (incl. butch, femme, metrosexual and genderfuck); 15 different orientations and an equal number of sexual identities (incl. gynosexual, androgynosexual, heterflexible and questioning); all for a grand total of some 800,000 possible combinations.

It seems useless to point out the fact that heterosexual males have always been friends with one another. From ass-grabbing on the football field to anal rape in prison, man-on-man companionship has run the gamut from being totally platonic to homosocial, to brutally homosexual without ever encroaching on gay culture-that is, until now. Somehow over the course of the last decade or so, a magnifying glass has been placed over the interpersonal relationships of straight dudes and in 2008, the phenomenon of the “bromance” has reached a sudden fever pitch in popular culture. While Ben Affleck and Matt Damon were able to escape gay-baiting punchlines in the late 90s, male celebrities today are all but prohibited from hanging out without speculation being made as to their sexuality. The reason for this isn’t, as the Seattle Times proposed (paraphrased by Gawker), because “guys are marrying later, more of them are living together to offset the financial hardships of subsisting on a single income, [and it allows] bromances to flourish.” It’s actually because they are ALL GAY.

It used to be one of the seediest streets in San Francisco, with Polk Street hustlers lining the pages of City of Night, but rising rents in the Castro (not to mention the sometimes mind-numbing uniformity of gay culture there) have revitalized the brokedown palace with exciting drunks. To celebrate the impending summer, we thought we’d take a look at the street that doesn’t mind that you started your weekend on Wednesday.

Hey everyone! Didja hear? The Black Party was this past weekend in NYC and boy howdy, it was quite a show!  For the $125 price of admission, attendees got to witness all kinds of super crazy goings-on, including, but not limited to: a live sex show involving a pool cue, aging leather daddies bouncing around to house music while having their one big drug night of the year, a tent where many a blowjob was procured, a blackout room where lordy knows what was going on, and many a wide-eyed youngster in his very first harness watching his own innocence evaporate like so much amyl nitrate.

We take back what we said about the glamorous life of a porn star. Life for the Falcon Exclusive isn’t always filled with runway shows, GHB and non-consensual sex: sometimes it involves straight up skank. In Erik Rhodes’ latest dispatch from the Los Angeles set of Afterparty-a sexual roman a clef in which hunky Rhodes gets fisted in one scene and enjoys “interracial” double penetration in another-the star encountered something he couldn’t stomach: a smelly model. Rhodes won’t disclose his name, and instead refers to him, with no small amount of charm and subtlety, as ‘stinky dick’:

We must admit that the 2008 GayVN Awards on Saturday weren’t quite the drool-inducing sedative that we feared they’d be. The Lady Bunny was downright hilarious and Derek and Romaine‘s bitterness-shtick was amusing, at least to us, since they wouldn’t stop talking about what “assholes” we are. Sorry everyone loves us, okay? After the jump, check out how many of the night’s biggest stars chose to ditch the duo’s face-planting, painfully ill-received punchlines for a hot, impromptu photo shoot in the glass elevators!

When GayVN-winning director Jett Blakk sent us the porno How To Seduce A Straight Man, we were curious if we could use it to replicate his success. Three black eyes later, we filed suit against the director. Turns out, we were doing it all wrong. As part of his settlement, Jett Blakk agreed to give us actual tips for seducing straight men. While courage, both liquid and otherwise, is in involved in these recipes, we have to say they work better than the penis in the popcorn trick that nearly resulted in a situation that would have required Romaine Patterson to save us.

Hedda Lettuce may be the only one running for
office, but that hasn’t stopped our favorite cross dressers from weighing in
on their current crop of presidential candidates. After discovering that most
of our favorite porn stars are voting for Hillary, we thought we’d check in
with the drag queens. Turns out sisterhood ain’t that powerful …