Australian Courts Compete For Teabagging Trial
Speaking of teabagging… two Australian courts of law are competing for the priviledge of trying a sailor accused of teabagging a sleeping sergeant.
Search Results for: Allen King
Mini Me: Sex Addict and Hung Like a Toddler
This just in! Has-been, literally pint-sized B-lister Verne Troyer is a sex addict, in addition to being an alcoholic and hung like a toddler.
Love Changes Everything for Erik Rhodes, Including His Blog Title
…And who says a little blog can’t change the world? We’re happy to say that porn superstud Erik Rhodes, having fallen in love and lost some of his former urges to self-destruct over the past year, took our advice and changed the name of his blog from “Slipping Away” to “Underneath It All.”
Lesbians Will Kill Us All
Lesbians across the nation are keeping busy, protesting marriage inequality by taking to the streets, and also, in a more disturbing trend, protesting their devastating penis deficiencies by killing people.
Cum: It’s What’s For Dinner
We’d like to point you to a new cookbook called ‘Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes.’ If you’re like us, then you too have a fridge overflowing with crusty cum-filled tupperware containers. Why not make some spunky candied pecans?
COLT Porn Stars Want Husbands
Move over, Ellen. COLT Studios is throwing its veiny weight behind the fight against Prop 8, because nothing screams, “Give us marriage, you guys!” like a chisled porn star.
SF’s Hot Boxxx Girls Get Makeover
Venerable San Francisco dive Aunt Charlie’s Lounge plays host each Friday and Saturday to the most genuine, old school, unironic, and (figuratively) punk rock drag show we’ve ever seen: The Hot Boxxx Girls.
SF’s Booty Call Celebrates 1st Year With Calendar
Parties come and go, but certain party promoters are in it for the long haul. Case in point: Juanita MORE!, who’s been shaking up the scene in San Francisco for the better part of two decades and lately, with protégés Joshua J and photographer Brandon Norris, has been bringing out the models in all of us at Booty Call on Wednesdays at the Bar on Castro.
In Honor of Veteran’s Day: Ricky Sinz Gives Naked Interview About Military Service, Iraq
For Veteran’s Day, we bring you this mildly disturbing interview with inked bisexual porn stud and former military grunt Ricky Sinz from the set of Raging Stallion army epic, GRUNTS.
Former Project Runway Kids Design Inaugural Gowns for Michelle
Over at Tina Brown’s new venture The Daily Beast, they asked a group of former Project Runway contestants to sketch some ideas for our new first lady for an inaugural ball gown befitting this New Day in America.
LISTEN UP FAGGOT!: Arthur Russell Resurrected
Thanks largely to Matt Wolf’s emotionally groundbreaking documentary Wild Combination, the ghost of Arthur Russell has sprung up to equally haunt bedrooms, dancefloors, and desktops everywhere this Autumn.
Pics from the ‘Milk’ Premiere in the Castro
As you may or may not have heard (or cared), San Francisco’s been abuzz with the world premiere of Gus Van Sant’s Milk, which went down last night at the Castro Theatre.
Halloweiners: Our 10 Favorite Spooky Pornos
Halloween’s this weekend. Why not have a ghoulish wank to the delightful horror pornos below?
Whatever Paris Hilton Decides, Onch is Definitely Our New BFF
In case you haven’t been religiously tuning into the greatest program in television history, “Paris Hilton’s My New BFF” on MTV, allow us break down for you the crucial points.
Top 10 Celebs Who Should Come Out of the Closet
Hey! It’s National Coming Out Day tomorrow! We would not particularly give a shit, but seeing as California is about to vote on Proposition 8–which has spurned a fundie riot and gotten everybody in the state asking themselves how more or less grossed out they are by the idea of we fags marching down the aisle–we thought it was time to discuss a few (allegedly) gay celebrities who we’d like to see be all out loud and proud this election season.*
Did The Biggest in the Business Bottom?
When director Jett Blakk wrote us to tell us that his new set was on lockdown, and that even as friends, he couldn’t tell us what was going on, we took it as an affront … and a challenge. Luckily, porn isn’t exactly the Pentagon and Blakk isn’t working on the new Star Wars: loose lips in this business are practically a requirement for employment.
Screencap Sexpot: Ryan McPartlin
He’s a model-turned-soap-actor-turned- prime-time-TV-star who always ends up naked, and he’s built a career on that fine, hairless torso of his. He’s more than your garden variety pretty boy, though–he has a certain bravado and swagger that you just can’t fake, which probably comes from spending so many years on camera showing off his nipples. After the jump, a gallery of screencaps from Ryan McPartlin’s career, from the soap Passions, to a Fran Drescher vehicle on the WB, to his recent, pansexual-seeming role on NBC’s Chuck and a guest spot on Swingtown.
Forget Equus, for Male Nudity Try the NY Fringe Fest
The New York International Fringe Festival features a lot of edgy, often witty (sometimes bad) theater in often small (sometimes tiny, sometimes badly ventilated) venues across the city during the dog days of August. And this year’s show listings are no disappointment when it comes to the more tawdry and clothing optional varieties of theater that are one of the special pleasures of the fest.
It’s That Time Again… Another Gay Marriage News Roundup
Just to prove to you all that we aren’t completely cynical killjoys about this whole gay marriage thing, here’s a quick roundup of notable news items from this week in California’s Summer of Gay Marriage.
First off: A new poll shows that opinions may be shifting when it comes to approving a proposed amendment to the state constitution that would ban gay marriage. 51% of voters now say they are against the amendment-which will be on the ballot in November as Prop 8 -with 42% saying they are for it. Back in 2000, 68% of voters approved Prop 22, which ostensibly defined marriage as between a man and a woman and which the CA Supreme Court (you may have heard) recently deemed unconstitutional. We look forward to about 900 similar polls to follow.
Mom Thought He Was Straight?: Liberace
This is it folks. We’re wrapping up this series on all the famous pre-Pride fags who passed as ‘perpetual bachelors’ back in the days before AIDS and parades. There are of course a few historical homos we skipped over — like Sir John Gielgud (a classically trained British theatre actor who Mom hadn’t really heard of before Arthur anyway), Allen Ginsberg (he was never really in the closet), and Cary Grant (might have been bi), to name a few. But we tried to hit all the high points in the recent history of down-low gaiety and televised gay minstrelsy: Paul Lynde, Charles Nelson Reilly, Rock Hudson, Elton John, Tony Perkins, Village People, Montgomery Clift, Freddie Mercury, James Dean & Sal Mineo, Truman Capote, and Raymond Burr.
Ryan Seacrest Can’t Find the Right Woman, Blames Mother’s ‘Judging’ Voice In His Head
The greatest guy around (and serial romancer of women with vaginas), Ryan Seacrest, is blessing our souls with two more mind-numbingly idiotic reality TV series this upcoming Summer/Fall. The producer who gave us such American treasures as Sunset Tan and Keeping Up With The Kardashians is branching out from his E!-highlighted roots and bestowing Bromance on MTV and sweeping the nation in a search for contestants for his new NBC dating show, Momma’s Boy. The former stars (who else?) Brody Jenner as himself, putting contestants through challenges in hope of assimilating into his entourage. According to a press statement, “along the way, contestants will be whittled down via ‘Hot Tub Elimination Ceremonies’ after which rejected ‘bros’ will be asked to leave the bachelor pad dripping wet in a swimsuit, luggage in hand. Bringing to mind various dating reality shows, contestants also will have shots at a ‘group date’ and ‘alone time’ with Jenner in every episode.” However, the publicists neglected to specify if any of the aforementioned challenges would include blowjobs, anal fingerbanging, or artistic feats like consecutively giving Brody pearl necklaces of varying size and quality.
New York’s New Blind Governor Sees Fit to Recognize CA & MA Gay Marriages
In the only other state with a gay population that even comes close to rivaling California’s, gay marriages performed in other jurisdictions like Canada, Spain, Massachusetts and California will be recognized in New York. The state’s newly installed governor, David Paterson, who took over for Eliot Spitzer in the wake of that whole hooker mess, has side-stepped the legislature to become the latest hero of the gay marriage movement, paving the way for New York to likely become the third state in the union to legalize gay marriage.
Maneaters! Five Unsolved Gay Serial Killer Mysteries
Remember Jeffrey Dahmer? Who could forget that hottie, right? After hearing about the “smiley face” case, in which over 40 college guys have gone missing after nights of drinking and been found dead in rivers across the country, we decided to re-open the files on some other unsolved gay serial killings. Granted, the possible motive in the “smiley-face” killings has not been revealed, but the sexual component of serial murder, coupled with the reasonably attractive, drunk college status of the victims, as well as our own tendency
Grabby Awards and IML This Weekend in Chicago
Like a once-in-a-lifetime confluence of astronomical events, the International Mr. Leather Expo is happening in Chicago this weekend AT THE SAME TIME as the infamous Grabby Awards. The Sword will be covering the weekend live-blog style, in association with Fleshbot. After the jump, a refresher (in case you missed them the first time) on this year’s Grabby nominees.
Porn Industry Takes Note: Market More Gay Titles to Lesbians
Gay Porn Times pointed us to this piece in the Village Voice by Tristan Taormino which explores the oft-ignored, perhaps kind of new phenomenon of lesbians (and some straight women) who really dig watching gay guys fuck. Whether it’s the total lack of decent lesbian porn out there–produced by actual dykes featuring actual, non-Brazilian-waxed dykes–or the fact that lots of lesbians identify with man-on-man sexuality more than, say, blonde-tramp-from-the-OC -on-Asian-tramp-from-San-Diego sexuality, would be hard to say without an in-depth poll.
Jason Curious Up In Arms Over Mistreatment of Jesse Santana, Wishes People Could Be Less Boring
La Curiosity proved that he could bash back against schlock jocks Derek and Romaine late last night. Publicity racehorse Jason Sechrest had booked Jesse Santana on the Sirius OutQ program The Derek & Romaine Show on his birthday, only to have an admittedly unprepared Derek humiliate the 22-year-old JetSet-exclusive with questions about Myanmar and the gas tax holiday (with the attentiveness of a fifth grader reading a book report aloud) while Romaine chortled irresolutely in the background.
Sechrest fired back on his blog, “I feel awful for anyone who has fallen prey to the misconception that you guys are big supporters of gay porn stars and the porn industry,”
Falcon Unleashes Straight Chicago Dogs With Relish
Legendary porn producer Falcon Studios announced the debut of Falcon Str8 Men site this week, the latest volley between large studios like Falcon and the incursion of smaller sites, like Randy Blue and Sean Cody challenge that dominate the so-called amateur market.
Or perhaps it’s just Falcon staking a claim on a heretofore unsettled territory: Chicago. While Randy Blue has Los Angeles and Sean Cody San Diego, the Second City (and the corn-fed stock that grazes there) doesn’t always get adequate representation. (Ricky Sinz notwithstanding.)
QUIZ ANSWERS: Porn or Roman Empire?
Here are the answers… we hope you’re as surprised/disturbed as we were.
Porn or Roman Empire?: A Quiz
When we
listened to Oklahoma State Representative Sally Kern’s tirade a month or so back, we were reminded of that old saw
about decrepit morals and the ends of civilizations. While we’re currently
enjoying our flesh-filled life of debauchery, we thought we’d offer up this
quiz. Can you tell which of the following coyly worded events happened in the Roman Empire of ancient times… and which ones come from the modern day porn industry? The scenarios, after the jump.
Gay.com Ditches Porn In Hopes of Finding a Daddy
Like a closeted jock looking to have his flamboyant theater queen lover expelled, Gay.com gleefully announced that it had sold its publishing arm today, including the Advocate and Out Magazine, and, most significantly, the highly profitable softcore Specialty Publications titles: Unzipped, Freshmen, Men and [2] to here! entertainment. Surprisingly, the Specialty Publications sale was barely mentioned in the press announcement and no individual titles were listed.
Pink Pistols Fire at Supreme Court
Personally, we’re lovers not fighters. That being said, we were thrilled to learn of an organization devoted to protecting Second Amendment rights and encouraging gays to arm themselves in self-defense. The Pink Pistols recently filed a brief in a case before the Supreme Court challenging a 32-year-old ban on handguns in the District of Columbia. Citing that “more anti-gay crimes occur in the home than anywhere else,” the Pink Pistols joined 68 other organizations filing briefs in the case, most of which opposed the ban.
EXCLUSIVE!: Sword Leaks Grabby Nominations
Thanks to a few well-placed handjobs and a bottle of Kahlua, we’ve weaseled our way into Grabby headquarters and stolen the list of nominees that’s scheduled to be published tomorrow. We started to tally the studio with the most noms, the movie with the most noms and the studio with the most movies and, well, wait… what were we saying? Sorry, we totally fell asleep. It doesn’t really matter since there’s enough noms here for each studio to spin, Bush-style, an edge up on the competition. By noon tomorrow, everyone will be in the lead.
Ryan Idol May or May Not be Stealing Money from Children Who Need Computers
Birmingham Mayor Larry Langford is on the receiving end of public scrutiny for his attempt to launch a new charity organization aimed at providing every student in the Alabama county with a computer. Reminiscent of a charity he launched in 2000 as mayor of Fairfield, prior donors and federal prosecutors are looking into some allegedly frivolous spending “including payments on personal credit card bills, expenses for ‘elaborate’ trips and checks written to a star of gay-porn films.”
That star of “gay-porn films” happens to be none other than Ryan Idol, last seen performing in the off-Broadway revival of “The Ritz” in Fall of 2007.
Radio Homo Derek Hartley Doesn’t Like Us
Sirius Radio hosts Derek Hartley and Romaine Lettuce shot back at us today for us calling them houseplants. We issue the following retraction: it was rude to refer to their looks when we had so much material about them being boring. No offense! (BTW, Derek, Puffins are small, cute sea birds… did you just call your co-host fat? For shame! We just meant she looked like a muscular penguin.)
Jason Sechrest, our favorite Judy Garland-impersonator and passer-along-of- bad-news, kindly pointed out to the two radio hosts via IM
that they weren’t going to get a warm response in San Francisco, at
least as far as The Sword was concerned. Not entirely true!
Lucas Fires SCUD at Queerty
Michael Lucas railed against online gay site Queerty today, charging its editors not only with anti-Semitism, but also using his good name to generate controversy and being a third-rate Perez Hilton. Queerty responded by posting a photo of post-tween sensation Zac Efron’s underwear-clad buttocks.
The battle began when Queerty posted an item about Lucas’ ebay auction.
Comment posters with Arab-esque monikers began taunting Lucas with
accusations of bad taste, fallen empires, Semitic money-grubbing and
invoked that weary Lucas standby, the Zoolander comparison.
Lucas responded with his now well-traveled merengue of anti-Semitism,
playful self-effacement and victorious pronouncements in the
third-person.
The 5 Low-Lights of Heath Ledger’s Mourning Glory
We, and just about every other news outlet on the planet, reported yesterday on the “tragic,” “shocking” and “devastating” death of Heath Ledger. But, frankly, we’ve become as fascinated by the proliferation of the media’s over-wrought and bad-tasting mourning as we are the one-time gay cowboy’s convoluted demise. Twenty-nine hours after the announcement, we present these five newsy low-lights of post-Ledger crepe-hanging.
GayVN Nominations Announced
This may be the first year that the GayVNs best the Golden Globes in viewership, and we couldn’t be more pleased: not only has our industry’s little fete grown in recent years, the clothes are more exciting. No offense to Valentino Garavani or Domenico Dolce, but porn star fashion — with it’s reliance on mesh, mess and meth — is infinitely more exciting. We’ve got 35 days until we can bring you the new Spring Collection, so until then, here are the nominations …
Wishing You a Mary Xmas: The Sword Holiday Music Panel
As Andy Warhol once
enthused about Coke (we mean the soda, fiends): it’s the same whether you’re a
bum, the President, or Liz Taylor-money can’t buy you a better one and it
always tastes the same. We suppose we could say that about holiday music as
well; no matter how pressed your
body, nor how big your dick, nor how many guest lists you’re on, you’ve still
got the same schmaltz every December-or so it would seem.We asked a few of
our favorite resident pervs about their favorite holiday music.