Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (by
no means complete, or even-handed) of stuff going on for those of the
homo persuasion this weekend in the two meccas we currently have
bandwidth to cover, San Francisco and New York. Check back soon to see
us cover more gay urban centers near you (sorry, Cheyenne, we may never
get to you).
Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…
Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (byOur heavily editorialized listings after the jump…
It’s Dore Alley weekend in San Francisco, and boy howdy, we don’t know where this year has gone! Why, it seems like just yesterday we took that pic of that fresh bottle of piss lying in wait in the gutter for someone to enjoy. Anyway, for those of you in SF and NY, here’s a roundup of gay stuff going on this weekend in the two meccas we currently have the bandwidth to cover.
Porn stars are a small handful of people in the world who have the luxury of choosing their own names. One would think that they’d not only choose names that are sexy and easy to remember, but also check Google beforehand. In many cases the names they choose are already in use. Take the real Jeff Stryker: in a piece he wrote for Salon, the former executive director of the federal National Commission on AIDS, is positively indignant about having his identity usurped.
How much would you pay for a taste of RJ Danvers? Porn star membership sites may have given way to blogs and MySpace, and while dirty pics are given away free, dozens of stars are selling their dirty laundry. But sales ain’t what they used to be.
We aren’t naive. We know that pretty covers sell magazines, and that sensational headlines do too. But we’ve got to call bullshit on the latest lead stories and prettyboy headshots to grace the covers of OUT and The Advocate (that Anderson cover is truly egregious–the article is about gray haired men). Emo posterboy and husband to the lesser Simpson sister, Pete Wentz, is on the cover of the latest issue of OUT along with the big bold pull-quote “YEAH, I AM A FAG.” (Spoiler alert: he’s not.)
When super agent David Forest announced he was leaving the gay porn industry, tongues everywhere started wagging (some directly in our ears). So after erroneously printing alleged claims that David Forest was going to prison (or “THE BIG HOUSE” as he calls it), we’d asked Forest directly about his decision to sign a non–compete deal with Fabscout and end his career in porn. Find out which of his stars he loved most, who was his biggest pain in the ass and ho screwed him on the way out the door.
Boy George has licked it. Debbie Harry’s posed with it. Michael Lucas may have proposed to it. The pert, glowing buttocks of a certain cocktail waiter at NYC dance den Mr. Black known only as The Ass has returned along with the reopening of the club, and thank fucking god. Hailed as the best thing to happen to NYC nightlife in a decade, Mr. Black was briefly shut down after a police raid last summer that resulted in no charges being pressed, but with the Bleecker location closed and everyone feeling pretty pissed off. The place has moved to the Flatiron (27 W 24th) and had its grand reopening on Friday, when everyone from Justin Bond to the Barbie twins lifted a drink in relief and posed with The Ass. See some gratuitous ass shots, after the jump.
We’re not sure if it’s the rise of a new fetish or a particularly targeted shipment of horse testosterone, but in the past few years shoulders seem to be overtaking pecs as the body part that separates the (super) men from the boys. Sure, it gives you a wide stance and makes your waste look teensy, but it’s gotta be tough carrying around a bowling ball on the top of each arm. There are guys who are big all over, and then there are those who seem to be modeling their arms on a drumstick. After the jump, we assess the top five among the top-heavy.
Hey! It’s Pride weekend in Boston and DC, but we haven’t really gotten to covering them places yet. So here’s a quick roundup of some recommended venues for getting super drunk and slutty this weekend in the two meccas we call home, San Francisco and New York.
Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…
It’s been proven that summertime is in full effect, and while much of gay culture spends its time swooning over Madonna or Kylie for the next three months in between repeat screenings of the Sex and the City movie and trips out to Fire Island, we’re feeling (surprise!) a little bit over it. Thankfully we’ve got an iPod filled with far out tunes so we can plug our ears to the house remixes of American Idol cast-offs which will inevitably accompany the gay pride festivities this month in lieu of something with a little more guitar fuzz.
Mr. San Francisco Leather 2004 Julian Marshburn takes us on a tour of the Mr. S. Leather Booth at the IML Leather Mart, including a dog mask that Hot House Exclusives Johnny Gunn and Ross Hurston are happy to demonstrate.
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International Mr. Leather 2008: Somewhere, A Herd of Cows Is Shivering
We’re confused as to what day it is, and where this inflatable sheep came from, but the 2008 Grabby Awards are over and all for the better. We’re not that young anymore and the penicillin isn’t as effective as it used to be. So while we sober up and try to find our underwear, here’s a quick look at the winners of the 2008 Grabbys.
Late April saw the release of the all-new Broadway musical adaptation of John Waters’ classic 1990 rebel-romance Cry-Baby, which the New York Times referred to as “mild-mannered”, “terminally flat”, and as having “all the saliva-stirring properties of week-old pre-chewed gum”. While we’re pretty sure we’d rather gouge our eyeballs out with switchblades before ever sitting down to enjoy this mutilation of what is truly one of the best movies ever made (with one of the hottest title characters we’ve ever plastered over our bedroom walls) we have no problem ogling the lithe torsos and protruding spandex’d bulges of the production’s male cast members in the current issue of HX Magazine. What can we say? We’re equal opportunity objectifiers! While we get down on our knees and pray to all that is filthy that Hollywood won’t make a movie of this kindergarten romp starring Patrick Dempsey and Hilary Duff in roles originated by Iggy Pop and Traci Lords, take solace in the fact that Broadway actors are (sometimes) total babes, and if they keep stripping at us, maybe we’ll learn to stop ripping on them.
Like a once-in-a-lifetime confluence of astronomical events, the International Mr. Leather Expo is happening in Chicago this weekend AT THE SAME TIME as the infamous Grabby Awards. The Sword will be covering the weekend live-blog style, in association with Fleshbot. After the jump, a refresher (in case you missed them the first time) on this year’s Grabby nominees.
Stories of catfights on the set of the CW’s Gossip Girl have been emerging from the set since the series hit the small screen. Despite admissions on the behalf of the show’s cast and producers that a lot of the rumors are staged for publicity, a new gossip item about the boys has emerged bringing us a new drama of the week from the weekly drama that is our biggest weakness: that actors Penn Badgley and Ed Westwick are up in arms over the attention that Chace Crawford continues to get over them, particularly by Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, and George Clooney. “Penn was supposed to be the show’s breakout star and now it is obviously Chace, and Penn doesn’t like it,” an insider revealed to Jo Piazza of the New York Daily News.
However François Sagat tries to recede from the spotlight, people are still going to take notice when he gets naked, paints himself gold, and posts it all over the internet. Just as we were scared we’d never get to see Bai Ling anymore after her stint on Dancing with the Stars ended only to relentlessly encounter her in varying stages of public nudity ever since, we can still rely on François to always bring us a freaky new look to get us through the week.
Nobody is exempt from outrageous celebrity sexual fantasies. Whether you dream of reverse-cowboying Johnny Depp in his Crybaby jailhouse or slapping Lil Bow Wow across the face with your boner (or wait, those are ours), there’s nothing that the cyber jazz-hands of photoshop can’t abracadabra into your life! Enter “DannyHorny”, the blogspot digital imaging wunderkind who whittles away the banal hours of the day placing, for example, Shia LeBeouf’s face onto the body of a naked twink screwing in a lightbulb. We’ve become so addicted to the blog dedicated to these occasionally believable, often ridiculous celeb masterpieces that we can scarcely fathom what our lives were like before Fleshbot introduced them into our lives. While we await future posts (recommendations: Spencer Pratt blowing Michael Lucas? François Sagat sodomizing Britney?), there’s currently a Zac Efron XXX-photoshop competition we can’t wait to enter! Below, check out some of our personal favorites from Danny’s archives.
Our personal endorsement for President, the “Pope of Filth” John Waters, was honored at the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Leadership Awards ceremony on Monday in New York City. “John is proud to have offended four generations,” Debbie Harry said, introducing him. Waters then took the stage and described his philosophy behind the democratic process and how it relates to cruising in bath houses. “Me in a towel, horny?” he imagined. “I couldn’t get laid. I get laid by making people laugh. And that’s what gay people should do: Use their wit and their humor as terrorism to win.”
Residents of Hong Kong were up in arms recently over one of Djimon Hounsou’s Calvin Klein underwear advertisements emblazoned across the side of the 15-year-old Ritz Carlton Hotel. Cited as “visual pollution” due to its proximity to public parks and historical landmarks, the advertisement features a statuesque, ebony Djimon kicking back against a white wall in a pair of skin-tight CK briefs. The campaign, launched last July, gained positive attention in the states for its positive use of a black model in a major fashion ad. Watchdog groups cleared the ad as not indecent, allowing it to remain erect (no pun intended) until April 15th when the whole building will be demolished to make room for offices anyway.
We’ve always wondered if meeting Madonna would be as surreal as we think it would be (or if her eyes would turn us to stone). Rich Cohen seems to be still alive-but just barely-after profiling the pop icon/ singer/ actress/ mother/ African baby buyer/ children’s author/ clothing designer/ eagle-spreader/ movie producer/ writer/ director/ human rights leader/ social activist/ New Yorker/ Angeleno/ Brit/ Michiganite/ Kabbalist/ Catholic/ Brunette and Blonde/ STAR for Vanity Fair.
They called them “theatrical” or “perpetual bachelors,” but we call them GAY-and we’ve always been a little baffled looking back at the proto-homos of yore and wondered how their big secret got so well kept. We understand that before AIDS and parades we weren’t exactly on the suburban radar, but COME ON NOW. After the jump, we continue our series on pioneering gays who used to be called, simply, “a little funny.”
Ever since the demise of HooBoy’s now-defunct escort review site, flush johns have had a hard time figuring out how to get the most bang for their buck. Thankfully, the Rentboy Escort Awards (colloqially known as “The Hookies”) is filling in the gap. The second annual award show took place this weekend at Club Rage in West Hollywood with hookers dressed in a load of hot-mesh.
Jason Curious was there to give us the blow-by-blow (thankfully, he doesn’t charge), crowning guest star Bobby Trendy as “Worst Dressed” and himself as Best. (“It’s supposed to be one big crazy party and the whole thing is kind of funny, so wear something that lets people know you’re in on the joke. …I have to say, I’m one of the only people who
The New York Times published a lengthy editorial in its Sports section yesterday about the Mean Girls-style rivalry brewing between U.S. men’s figure skating champions Johnny Weir and Evan Lysacek. “One skates with precision and adrenalized power, wants figure skating in the X Games and wears several days of stubble during competitions,” the piece reads of heterosexual Lysacek. “The other adores skating’s operatic performances, is asked if his eyelashes are real and announces that they are.” The feud has evidently grown to become a debate about the merits of masculinity over sensitivity, and ultimately, straight versus gay.
Skating announcer Mark Lund, who’s openly gay, even went so far as to broadcast his preference for the former. “I don’t think he’s representative of the community I want to be a part of,” he mused of Weir during a broadcast, evidently forgetting that he himself is a figure skating announcer. “I don’t need to see a prima ballerina on the ice,” and then issued praise for Lysacek’s masculinity.
While it would seem that there’s room enough in the rink for both competitors, we have a feeling this is all going to end in a Showgirls-style shove down a staircase and a trail of glitter-stained tears. Go Team Weir!
Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (by
no means complete, or even-handed) of stuff going on for those of the
homo persuasion this weekend in the two meccas we currently have
bandwidth to cover, San Francisco and New York. Check back soon to see
us cover more gay urban centers near you (sorry, Cheyenne, we may never
get to you).
Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…
Thanks to a few well-placed handjobs and a bottle of Kahlua, we’ve weaseled our way into Grabby headquarters and stolen the list of nominees that’s scheduled to be published tomorrow. We started to tally the studio with the most noms, the movie with the most noms and the studio with the most movies and, well, wait… what were we saying? Sorry, we totally fell asleep. It doesn’t really matter since there’s enough noms here for each studio to spin, Bush-style, an edge up on the competition. By noon tomorrow, everyone will be in the lead.
Ever wondered what it’d be like to be luckiest boy on the porn set? You don’t have to get naked, you don’t have to get hard and you don’t even have to go on camera. You just have to blow the star to get him ready for the next scene. As far as we know, the role of the ‘fluffer’ is largely a myth, but this sex-dramedy from TLA Releasing was a film fest fave back in 2001 and features Debbie Harry, Chi Chi LaRue, porn star Cole Tucker and Baywatch hunk Scott Gurney as gay-for-pay model Johnny Rebel.
In this sketch from the late 70s, game show mainstay and frequent Tonight Show guest Charles Nelson Reilly plays an of-course-fey-and-persnickety airline gate agent to Johnny Carson’s frustrated business traveler. (As it happens, Reilly appeared about a 100 times on the show in part because was such a reliably funny guest, but in part because he lived around the corner from the Burbank studio and would often be called on to fill in for scheduled guests who did not show up on time.)
We have a deep appreciation for Rock Hudson and all the other “perpetual bachelors” of mid-century America, and feel a certain kinship with the proto-homos of yore. We understand that prior to AIDS and parades, we weren’t exactly on the suburban radar, but, uh, COME ON NOW! Today, our first look at the pioneering homos that our parents figured were just, you know, a little funny.
For those of you who aren’t already making menus and sampling There Will Be Blood Orange Martini recipes for your uber-gay Oscar party, we bring you the following gratuitous shots mined from the nets. We’re sticking to the men, because that’s what we prefer around here. Ladies, we love your work, but you’re going to have to do better than Cate Blanchett doing her drag king Bob Dylan in Todd Haynes’ I’m Not There to get us feature you naked anytime soon. After the jump, our favorite half-naked photos of this year’s male acting nominees.
Two+ hours and countless fart jokes later, the 2008 GayVNs are over. While Derek and Romaine were limited to a five-minute intro due to bad press and an industry revolt, Lady Bunny hammed it up with Laugh-In segments and Benny Hill-style humor. High-larious. GRUNTS and Link were the big winners, but before we go back to our regularly scheduled pornography, we offer this uncensored look at the highlights of the best award show we’ve seen in awhile. Award highlights:
Best Videography: Brian Mills, H20
Best Director: Chris Ward and Ben Leon, GRUNTS
Best Picture: GRUNTS, Raging Stallion
Performer of the Year: Jake Deckard
Best Sex Comedy: The Intern, Lucas Entertainment
Best All-Sex: Link: The Evolution
We kneaux! Valentine’s Day is here and all you’ve got for distraction is your gym membership, your New Year’s diet and your right hand. Most of your friends are either paired off or they’re such embarrassing drunks you don’t want to be caught dead hanging out with them on V-Day because it’s only going to lead to another depressing, all-too- familiar, shouty conversation with some other sad singles down at the bar-and it might even lead to a fight. So, because we love you (even though no one else does), we offer you this survival guide.
Of all the homosexual porn stars who have sought to break the latex ceiling, Colton Ford has arguably been the most successful. The would-be dance-hall diva has had some success with Billboard, but now that Ford has a new gig hosting Logo’s NewNowNext music clip show this Sunday may mean that he’s more than just a trophy stud.
We say arguably, however, because Colton Ford is part of a long line of cross-over porn/music stars. There’s plenty we left out-Ryan Idol on Broadway, JD Slater on about a zillion Raging Stallion DVDs-but it’s a short day today. Our five favorite porn star cross-over music moments after the jump:
This may be the first year that the GayVNs best the Golden Globes in viewership, and we couldn’t be more pleased: not only has our industry’s little fete grown in recent years, the clothes are more exciting. No offense to Valentino Garavani or Domenico Dolce, but porn star fashion — with it’s reliance on mesh, mess and meth — is infinitely more exciting. We’ve got 35 days until we can bring you the new Spring Collection, so until then, here are the nominations …
We remember simpler days when the most highly sought-after domain names were for actually desirable URLs–like Madonna.com and ClubJenna.com. Get out your checkbook, johnny-come-lately perverts ’cause AnusTaste.com is finally up for sale… and a steal at only $29,411,765!
Domain auctioneer Moniker.com will be hawking its impressive line-up of adult-themed domain names this weekend at the Internext Expo in Vegas, but we might feel a little squeamish bidding on MuslimSchoolgirls.net (starts at $5,000 but could easily go higher) or GushingCunts.com ($14,000). If you do decide to join the bidding, for a cool hundred thou Moniker will also sell you back your Morals (.com, that is).