LISTEN UP FAGGOT! Hercules + Love Affair Get Banjee
Hercules and Love Affair have already become the reigning queens of gay dancefloors worldwide with their astonishingly appropriate debut album. But we bet you didn’t see this one coming.
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LISTEN UP FAGGOT! CSS Will Cut Him
Brazil’s brattiest band of babes have been touring exhaustively and churning out hit singles for the past two years. Our favorite, though, on their new album Donkey is all about getting revenge on that asshole who hurt you and doesn’t deserve to live.
LISTEN UP FAGGOT! Gang Gang Dance Go for Pop Gold
Well, not exactly. We don’t picture our mom bopping her head to tribal, post-post-punk drums and the ethereal shrieks of Lizzi Bougatsos in the grocery store, but we’re ready to dance to it in our bedrooms and make our roommates mad.
LISTEN UP FAGGOT! Mirror Mirror are Gay Hippie Chic
Brooklyn’s Mirror Mirror (made up of live-in boyfriends David Riley and Ryan Lucero, drummer Matt Bagdanoff, and Jill Kaufman) recorded their full-length record in their Bushwick apartment, but it could have just as easily been piped in via space vessel from some roving, intergalactic commune.
LISTEN UP, FAGGOT! Chairlift Are So Good, They Might Be Evil
New Brooklyn trio Chairlift have been compared by some music critics and bloggers to The Knife, and we can hear why with their Asian staccato accompaniment, spooky vocal melodies, and creepily upbeat dancefloor offerings. However, something about Chairlift is decidedly cutesier (just cutesy enough not to spook away any bright-eyed potential iPod Nano consumers).
LISTEN UP, FAGGOT! Girls are Our New Favorite Boy Band
Christopher Owens and JR White, along with a cast of rotating backup players, make up Girls: San Francisco’s hottest new export. Their first-ever show at Cafe DuNord sold out and had rabid MySpace fans screaming along all of their lyrics, and they’ve since attracted the attention of everyone from the SF Bay Guardian to Pitchfork to SPIN Magazine without even going on a national tour
Listen Up, FAGGOT! John Maus’ Love is Real
John Maus may be inaccessible to some, but once you get past the lo-fi recording and manic tempos, Mr. Maus is pure pop. His 2007 album Love Is Real was one of the unsung triumphs of the year, featuring spangly power anthems with positive lyrics and surreal ( and creepy) motifs of joy and acceptance that bear comparison to both Ariel Pink and Andrew W.K. The latter comparison stretches into Maus’ live performances as well: a hulking giant with hair in his face and supernatural physical energy, when Maus sings about “Rights for Gays” in your face you won’t be able to suppress hope that it’s coming from personal experience. Alas, Johnny’s straight, but we’ll keep pretending he’s our jock boyfriend anyway.
Listen Up, FAGGOT! SSION Goes for Credit in the Straight World
Kansas City’s Cody Critcheloe and his band of camped-up crazies come together to form SSION, an electronic/grunge/punk music project from hell. Merging the ’80s synthpop style of Marc Almond, Yaz, and Nina Hagen with an attitude decidedly brattier, SSION is sort of like riot grrl with laptops and drum machines, only gayer. Many of the songs on this year’s Fools Gold LP are worth your iTunes dollar. In “Street Jizz”, an ode to late night cruising for the ages, Cody laments, “Gee whiz / street jizz / it feels more dirty than it really is / Late at night, in the park / we’re gonna shoot white light all through the dark.” Rumored to be working on a full-length album covering Hole’s Live Through This (more commonly referred to around Sword HQ as “the holy bible”), SSION recently leaked this preview to the web, covering Hole’s cover of the Young Marble Giants. Well, it looks like we’ve got everything covered, so you can cover your bases after the jump.
Listen Up, FAGGOT! The Last Shadow Puppets Are Today’s Cutest British Boy Band
Dear Pete Doherty,
How do we loathe thee? Let us count the ways! Not only did you bring heroin back in style (1) and cost us a few of our German friends who followed you into Crackville, U.K. like rodents to a collapsing pied piper; but you singlehandedly ushered in the fedora, the most obnoxious fashion trend (2) since Ashton Kutcher tossed us the trucker hat.
LISTEN UP, FAGGOT! MGMT “Kids”
For an indie band from Brooklyn, MGMT have managed to grab us by the balls more than any of their hundreds of shaggy-haired contemporaries. Maybe it’s because they’re made up of two really cute guys, because they make psychedelic videos that are fun to watch, or maybe it’s because in their first single, “Time to Pretend”, they tempt us to “move to Paris, shoot some heroin and fuck with the stars.” However, it’s their follow-up song “Kids” that’s finding its niche on the dancefloors of New York. Though more innocent in topic, its tone has tons of drama, and during their sold-out free show at Brooklyn’s McCarren Pool a couple weeks back, it seemed to be the song that made the kids lined up outside who couldn’t get in want to slit their wrists just a little bit more.
LISTEN UP, FAGGOT! Lindsay L[esb]ohan is a Little Bossy
[So we’ve been listening to some of the current homosexual oevre lately, we’re a little dismayed. There’s some good stuff out there, aside from Crystal Waters and Soft Cell and that Perry girl, but we don’t here it in the Castro. So we’re bringing you the songs we think should be dancing to. What can it hurt to listen? Madge will always be there…]
Feast your queer ears on the new Lindsay Lohan track, “Bossy”! After LiLo and her GF, Samantha Ronson were spotted partying at The Cock last Monday, we’ve re-evaluated what our darling ex-Disney diva means to us, and we’re willing to give her upcoming album a chance. Working with producers like Ne-Yo and Timbaland, there just might finally be a pop star to give us nightmares who’s actually under the age of 40. She’s Madonna: Millennial Edition! Not only that, but after two plays you won’t be able to get Lindsay’s sultry, pitch-perfected vocals out of your head, and the S&M connotations behind her lyrics are endless. Don’t disobey! Check out the single of the summer below.
We Want Some of Adam Joseph’s Faggoty Attention
We can’t get enough of Adam Joseph’s song “Faggoty Attention,” which is officially our new summer jam despite our having first heard it on Logo. Mr. Joseph seems to have been trying for a career as a soul/R&B singer before deciding to go really gay with this new single, which can now be purchased on iTunes. In addition to seducing straight guys in the backs of limos and luring them back to Brooklyn, Joseph regularly performs with his band The Elegant Children at The Ritz in Hell’s Kitchen, and does regular DJ sets at XES Lounge and at Sugarland in Brooklyn.
Cole Connor On His Recent Attack, How He Escaped, & If It Was A Hate Crime
Last month, we told you about porn star and GayVN winner Cole Connor being attacked by and having to evade a violent group of men during a night out with friends in Hollywood. Shortly after the events took place, the performer shared this horrifying experience with fans on social media and a few days after that, took the Discretion Advised …
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Would You Fuck Your High School Bully?
Did you have a bully in high school? Was he on the football team? Was he hot? Would you suck his meaty cock if you had the chance?
Heil No, Milo
Milo Yiannopoulos insisted he’s a “fellow traveler” of the alt-right while shying away from backing its most extremist elements during his infamous Dangerous Faggot speaking tour.
MAGA MAHA
From a Manhattan Starbucks to a Kosher bakery, hateful, racist letters with “Make America Great Again” under a swastika were distributed as friendly Yom Kippur greeting from our friend in the Alt-Right.
Jaxton Wheeler & Sean Duran Are Cumming To Blows
As if we didn’t know it all along: those Second Amendment gun-lover activists are just a bunch of suckers.
Now This Is A Real Shooting Match
We all know what goes down at a “Gun Show” can be a real eye opener. But it’s what goes “in” at a “Gun Show” that is the real ball buster.
National Coming Out Day: More Important Than Ever
When they shout, “lock her up,” they’re saying Hillary’s name, but mean us too.
Cristiano Ronaldo Maybe GAY?! Soccer Star Seen Fondling Hot Male Friend’s Crotch
The Spanish media is ABUZZ today after a paparazzo snapped photos of the gorgeous Cristiano Ronaldo, aboard a yacht, apparently looking mighty friendly with a super buff buddy.
Stewart Taylor’s ‘Liberation’: The Pride Anthem of Summer 2015?
Ireland’s overwhelming embrace of marriage equality was the ultimate launch of the summer Pride season. Now Stewart Taylor’s “Liberation” gives Pride an anthem and every kid ever bullied, a voice!
‘I Don’t Like Mens No More’ Homo Pelted In the Face With Frozen Yogurt By Lesbian FroYo Seller
Andrew Caldwell, the unfortunate man who gained instant fame last year when a video of him giving some testimony at a Pentacostal church convention screaming “I don’t like mens no more” went viral, hasn’t had the greatest year. The latest incident in the news involving him, which happened at a St. Louis area frozen yogurt shop, suggests that he may …
The White Party Is Still Fucking Awful But Of Course There Were a Bunch of Porn Stars There
Looking at photos of the White Party has always made me want to hate-crime myself, and the whole Palm Springs weekend looks like a revolving horror show of insecure forty-somethings on drugs, malnourished and hyper thirty-somethings on drugs, and arrogant twenty-something go-go boys and aspiring kept boys on drugs, all dancing to a soundtrack of house music that sounds exactly …
Cazwell’s ‘Hot Homo’ Video Features Porn Stars Levi Michaels, Tayte Hanson, and James Franco Heads
Gay NY rapper Cazwell, whose 2013 single “No Selfie Control” is still stuck in my head, just put out a video for his latest, “Hot Homo,” featuring Chicago-based gay bear rapper Big Dipper, as well as CockyBoys models Levi Michaels and Tayte Hanson as backup dancers.
Sean Cody Makes New Bottom Graham’s Dream Come True
Last week, Sean Cody introduced skinny, lightly tattooed twink Graham.
Performance Artist Jake Dibeler Thinks It’s Rude If You Jerk Off To His Performances
Sunday, September 7th – In the early afternoon on day two of Brooklyn’s two-day Bushwig drag festival, Jake Dibeler and I are hidden away in a quiet studio at the shambolic Bushwick arts and performance venue Secret Project Robot, talking about his provocative performance work for what he says is the first time.
The Top 11 Things Straight Guys Say To Each Other Before Having Gay Sex For Money
I don’t claim to be an expert on this topic because a) I’m gay, and b) I’ve never fucked or been fucked by a straight guy, on camera or otherwise. But everyone’s fascinated, obviously, with the idea that there are tons of hot straight dudes out there these days who are happily fucking other dudes, and getting fucked by them.
Adam Ramzi Talks Judgey Ex-Boyfriends, ‘Love Boners,’ and Pushing His Own Boundaries
More than any other part of a man’s body, I’m obsessed with noses. Specifically the big, strong angular ones. It’s why I always used to melt when the man who would become porn star Adam Ramzi would walk into Akbar or Faultline back when I lived in L.A.
Evil Jeff, Randy Blue’s Creative Director, Talks Straight Guy Freakouts and His YouTube Alter Ego, Jiz
Back in the 70s and 80s, the director used to be a highly exalted figure in gay porn. Auteurs like Joe Gage, William Higgins, and Kristen Bjorn created styles distinctive enough to become brands for a certain type of porn.
Shay Michaels Talks Meth, Fucking for Days, and Almost Going Blind
Paul B. is back with the second installment of this four-part series, all on the topic of addiction, in conjunction with the release of NakedSword’s Addict.
Chris Crocker Lands Role of Lifetime In ‘Mean Boyz’
Gentlemen, I believe Chris Crocker has just reached the pinnacle of his likely-to-be-brief acting career, and it’s in this new parody short called “Mean Boyz,” in honor of the tenth anniversary of Mean Girls.
Tom Daley Comes Out As Having a Boyfriend, But WHO IS THE BOYFRIEND?
It’s probably only a matter of minutes or days before the internet figures out exactly who eminently suckable and fuckable 19-year-old British diver Tom Daley was referring to when he issued his earth-shaking YouTube video for fans today telling them he’s bi and has a boyfriend. If only everyone on Reddit weren’t such a sad, shut-in, hetero dork.
‘Do Your Dick Hang Low?’
Dick-starved bear Big Dipper gives the world a new video this week, this time for his song “Do Your Dick Hang Low?” And like some of his others, it’s pretty catchy.
Next Door Studios Goes Bro With ‘Gimme Five,’ But Wow Christian Cayden Can Suck a Dick
“How’s it goin, bro? What’s this about your girl banging some other guy and breaking up with you? Don’t worry about it, bro! Me and my buds are in the exact same place as you. Fuck girls! Bros b4 hos! We’re gonna get a keg and go hang out in the sun, out in the country like dudes, fuck around …
Next Door Studios Goes Bro With ‘Gimme Five,’ But Wow Christian Cayden Can Suck a Dick Read More »
“I’m Sorry, I Have To Go…Here Comes My Helicopter”
Depending on how much of a life you have, Jeff Palmer’s bizarre and depressing freak show of a website is a source of endless entertainment. For example, did you know that Jeff Palmer has recorded a bunch of amazingly horrible dance songs? There are music videos that go with them.
The Ten Most Breathtakingly Beautiful Things About Chi Chi LaRue’s Water Logged
1. Christopher Daniels’ insanely authentic pornstache.
The Sword’s Gay Porn Predictions for 2013!
Have you been racking your brain trying to figure out what will happen to your favorite studios and stars in the new year? Well, stop wondering and take a look inside of The Sword’s gay porn crystal ball(s) for all the answers. Here are The Sword’s Gay Porn Predictions for 2013: