Our therapist told us that we need to be less negative in life, and we think that maybe she’s onto something. If Erik Rhodes finds coke on the sidewalk just from reading watching The Secret, then maybe self-help isn’t just for lesbians after all.
Pollsters and pundits are struggling this election season to understand the differences among various groups of people across the geo-political regions of these great states, and with our highly scientific study below, we’d like to think we’re doing our patriotic part.
Hell hath no fury like a ho scorned, especially when that ho is Karrine “Superhead” Steffans, best-selling author of Confessions of a Video Vixen. Karrine so took it there by giving the internet a tour of the lube-stained bag of “ass beads” and other miscellaneous instruments of anal pleasure that she claims to have used on ex-boyfriend Darius McCrary (aka “Fast” Eddie Windlow from Family Matters).
We’ve got to admit we were secretly rooting for the Chinese divers. The American was cute, and the perfection from the hosting team did become a little redundant, but who doesn’t like an undefeated team of superhuman Eastern magicians every once in a while? Look, all we’re saying is that if it were a heterosexual Australian diver who committed this upset gold medal victory we would have been SO PISSED for our Beijing homegirls.
There are only so many times we can pass by the self-help promises blaring from the cover of Cosmo before we started thinking, You straight ladies have everything: diet tips, sex tips, hair tips. Where’s our magazine? Who’s going to tell us gays the important things in life? Now, we’re not talking about diet, sex or hair because frankly, bitches, we’ve got those bases covered. What we want to know are the important things in life, like How Do You Know When It’s Time to Break Up with Your Dealer?
We’ll quit with the Broadway shit after this, we swear. But the Broadway Bares/Equity Fights AIDS event this Sunday is as close to porn dancing as some chorus boys have done since last year, when they got those Broadway gigs and hung up their G-strings for good (or until the show closes and they go back to doing “massage”).
Okay, here’s the deal. The Sword, in association with the San Francisco Visitor’s Bureau, is happy to announce a contest for the filthiest fags out there (or whoever reads this site on a regular basis and wants to come to San Francisco during the filthiest weekend of the year). Grand prize is an all-expenses-paid trip for 2 to Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco, the weekend of September 26th, 2008. The deal includes airfare, hotel accommodations, meals, an SF CityPass
giving you free access to public transit and museums, complimentary
massages, and VIP passes to Folsom Street Fair on Sunday, September 28th.
Maxine Doogan’s been working the streets as a sex worker for nineteen years, but this summer the ambitious and beautiful blonde is finding soliciting harder than ever-she’s pounding the pavement to get prostitution decriminalized in San Francisco through a local ballot initiative. Doogan needs over 7100 signatures in order for the initiative, which would prohibit police from prosecuting prostitution as a crime, to get on the ballot in November.
The poem is called “The Platonic Blow” and is included in a new volume called The Best American Erotic Verse, and as New York Magazine puts it, it’s basically “like a Penthouse forum letter… with no women.” Auden (pictured, right, with lover Christopher Isherwood) apparently wrote it in 1948 and circulated it only among friends, but when an unauthorized publication occurred in 1965 he denied writing it. Auden was openly gay his entire life, traveling to Weimar Berlin in 1929 because it was the only place in Europe where one could be openly gay. But this poem was written in New York, on “a spring day… when the air/ Smelled like a locker room.” It’s about picking up a stranger on a stoop for an anonymous blowjob, and lest you believe that gay sex prior to the 1970s was always furtive and shameful and conducted in through a glory hole while wearing a tweed suit, this poem will prove otherwise.
The Bush Administration has approved $300,000 dollars in funding to the Gay Men’s Health Crisis to fight crystal meth abuse in the gay community.
Has the vivisection that is holiday shopping robbed you of your holiday spirit? With less than a week until we all hunker down at Mom’s, rifle through the medicine cabinet, bogart a bottle of champagne and wake up dazed in a living nativity somewhere down the street, time is running out to get our loved ones what they really want from us. Of course, a porn site membership will successfully impress your gaggle of gay friends, but for your most special partner, nothing says “Season’s Greetings” like reaming him in the ass with a giant red and white candy-cane vibrator! Alright fruitcakes, we give you (after the jump): Our Holiday Wishlist!