Samuel Martin Martin could have used some advice. For example, until you master the stomach suck-in, don’t attempt it on your rentboy profile. Also, don’t publish a rentboy profile in the same small town where you are a priest. And 15 centimeters (5.9 inches) is simply not "well hung," papi. Not to mention that a porn addiction needn’t cost $20,000.
Here’s the priest’s rentboy profile, as published by The Telegraph:
Heterosexual man for women and couples. Real photos. Well hung (15cm) to give you pleasure and happiness. I am open to everything except sadism. Hotels and private addresses. 24 hours. You won’t regret it, I will give you pleasure like never before.
The priest’s moonlighting gig came to light just as his congregation started to suspect that he was misappropriating church funds. Indeed, Martin confessed to church-goers that he had stolen as much as $20,000 from church funds in order to feed his porn addiction. He reportedly promised the congregation that he’d pay them back, then went into hiding.
Below: "The Long Stroke," the cable news spoof, the candid photos, your new favorite euphemism and the great Christian retreat.
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