Despite NOT being Dante’s Cove, and despite the heavy-handed gay rights/HIV subtext, we have developed some serious crushes around here. While many of us are lusting after the show’s token man-slut Jason Stackhouse (played by the adorable Ryan Kwanten), we also wouldn’t mind kicking it with the grill queen/drug dealer/part-time hooker Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis), in full makeup even! On our b-list would definitely be pasty protagonist Bill (Stephen Moyer) and wholesome cutie Sam (Sam Trammel). We draw the line at doing it with fag elder vampire Malcolm (here at left, played by Adam Rothenburg), the hepatitis-infected whore pictured shirtless above, or this other guy, who legitimately scares us, despite nice arms.

Below, check out some choice stills from the vampire drama and choose your own adventure.