Sites We Love: Hot Prison Pals

1. Bryan Storey

This sexy bitch is Hot Prison Pals’ 2009 Inmate of the year. He’s stuck in an Alabama prison for life after committing some murders (naughty naughty!), and he’s lonely. “I feel this need to find someone to share my thoughts and ideas with,” Bryan writes.

2. Nicholas Marinelli

Hunky Nick is an Italian former robber and drug-addict who enjoys working out and painting portraits. He’s looking for a “nice girl to…” Oh. Never mind. Let’s move on.

3. David McKinney

Here we go! A gay guy! David is a “straight-acting” 28-year-old who enjoys yoga and meditation. He likes “bearish, hairy” men who are grounded and caring, preferably older. If you’re too young now, don’t fret — you’ll be plenty older by the time David is released for DUI manslaughter charges in 2019.

4. Delbert Shelton

This sinewy muscle-daddy likes to brag about his “beautiful hazel brown eyes and an extremely athletic and muscular body.” Don’t worry about his identity theft crimes of the past. He’s learned from his mistakes, and he’s single and looking.

 

5. Carlton Sims

“May God shower your life with blessings for such a kind heart,” Carlton writes. “Let’s just take a walk together through the garden and just enjoy smelling the pleasure of the flowers as we enjoy each others company.” We’ll take a walk with you, Carlton, but only if you promise to wear the spandex hot pants from your photo.

6. Brandon Beach

Brandon’s a personal trainer who gets released this year. He doesn’t care about your “age, race or stats” — he just wants to “have a blast.” Brandon? Do us.

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Hot Prison Pals


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