and how we, as vain gays, are going to get with our $22-underwear habits during the impending Great Depression 2.
Cloud’s solution: stay vain! But only buy one pair of designer sunglasses this year and try, gasp, “sales”
“I found Dolce & Gabbana jeans for $274.95 — on sale, down from $345. Under the cold glare of D&G, $145 seems like a bargain. And this particular gay man is not going to the Gap to buy its saggy-assed jeans, even if they are only $55, and even if I do live on a reporter’s salary, and even if that does mean I eat leftovers most nights and have traded down from Junípero gin ($35 per bottle) to Tanqueray ($20 per bottle). Call me a queen, but Gap jeans don’t fit me, in at least two senses: They don’t fit my body, and, I would argue, they don’t fit my culture… To put it blithely, is $145 the least we can spend on jeans, because otherwise the jeans wouldn’t be gay enough?”
He goes on to write a bunch of inane shit about what this “culture” is and who we are demographically, citing such mind-blowing data as:
. 2.1% of gay and bisexual men ages 18–44 live in poverty, compared with 4.2% of straight men in the same age group.
. 47% of LGBT people have retirement accounts, compared to 51% of heterosexuals. (“Don’t we know we will get old?”)
. 17% of gay people were “absolutely certain” they would take a vacation by air in the next six months, compared to just 12% of heterosexuals. (Even if it’s a laycation.)
Apparently, “we” also really like cruises! “We,” of course, being fortysomething real estate agents with a matching set of Louis Vuitton luggage and French bulldog!
No wonder the The Advocate is dying a slow death.
Laycations and Six Other Ways to Preserve Your Sex Life After The Financial Meltdown
On Top of Everything Else, Your Cocaine Is About To Get More Expensive
Pete Wentz, and All the Other Decoy Gay Coverboys of OUT and The Advocate
Is The Advocate Getting Dangerously Thin?
The Cost of Being Gay (Advocate)
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