Sorry, Colby Keller Won’t Fuck You If You’re Stupid

If you’ve ever wanted to know what it takes to get Colby Keller to want to fuck you, watch his new Manhunt sex advice vlog below.


Bad news for all you humorless idiots: Colby Keller will not fuck you. Then again, if this is only about your online persona, you could always fake your intelligence and steal someone else’s jokes in order to initially catch his attention. Then if you are hot enough (you’re not) when Colby finally meets you IRL, maybe he will be distracted by your hotness (he won’t be) and he’ll fuck you anyway and not realize how much of a boring asshole you are?

Or, you could just be hot and smart gay porn star Dale Cooper, who gets to fuck Colby Keller without having to impress him on the internet first.

                                                           
                                    

[BigDicksAtSchool.com: Colby Keller Fucks Dale Cooper]
 

20 thoughts on “Sorry, Colby Keller Won’t Fuck You If You’re Stupid”

  1. I fucking love this! I’ve seen a couple of his written pieces and vblogs, and he cracks me up. Colby seems to own his sexuality and occupation choice in a way that very performers do. Furthermore, he can speak about it intelligently. Knowing that, I’d much rather watch someone like Colby than some of the new meatheads that have been appearing on Sean Cody in the past year. What can I say? An intelligent gay man turns me on more than muscles and straight guys shooting bareback loads into each other’s asses.

  2. LMAO…this thread title is quite misleading. Plenty of fast food workers and unemployed wastrels in the Baltimore area have a different story to tell (I’ve met a few).

  3. Colby is really good looking, in a “quiet accountant at the office who is an animal in bed” kind of way. Even though he’s attractive, he’s not someone I’d take home.

    As for online profiles, there’s often a huge disconnect between people who think they’re intelligent, and those who really are. I don’t know many people who think of themselves as dumb. But about a third of the population is categorized as “dull normal” or below. So do the math when thumbing through profiles.

  4. Nice… a whore talking about being selective and intelligent… If you are so intelligent you might be doing something more in line with your IQ.

    1. Best comment so far and distilled with such effortless brevity. A whore, is a whore , is a whore, is a whore And very often nothing more.

  5. I think he’s AWESOME: smart, funny, scruffy, and good looking in an approachable way. His enjoyment of his scenes, whether he’s pitching or catching, seems more honest and real than most other adult performers.

    I seriously don’t understand why anyone would waste precious time posting how little they enjoy a certain performer– if you don’t like him, move on! It’s not as though your comments are going to cause him or his employers to loose any sleep so long as the sales of product remain strong…

    1. Guess he made you feel uncomfortable! Are you 84bottomboi or SFdood ?
      I find Colby very handsome and he’s from a very rare breed of porn actors that I find MORE attractive after getting to know their personal life/tastes.
      Dale Cooper is crazy hot too!
      I wish I was clever…

    2. I am fine with Colby (neither hate nor love him) but I noticed the same thing with Conner Habib too.
      I don’t know them enough to know if they are indeed smart or not but it seems a lot of people mistake “using obscure four-syllable words” for “being smart”.

      Also, I am not sure I find it smart to warn the world how PICKY you are with your lovers when you are willing to fuck morans and crazies for money for the world to see. The high horse is only proper for those who can ride.

  6. Dale actually went to an IVY, so I’m assuming this is true. :D

    Us mere internet idiots will not be able to compare… 8-|

    Wait a couple of years, the whole “I don’t do idiots” routine will pass; I mean, after a certain point no one will be able to fuck you, right? Aren’t gays ageist idiots already? What about democrat idiots? Or republican idiots? Or religious idiots? What is the threshold for this intelligence test? Who gets to be “smart” here, and who gets labeled a dummy? I mean I didn’t do well on my math SAT; or in general, because I didn’t bother studying.

    Oops, I guess I failed it. I guess, I didn’t get the joke. @@

  7. I just don’t get the appeal of this dude….guess this is the perfect example the phrase ..”beauty is in the eye of the beholder”!

    1. He’s not classically handsome, sure. But he’s not unattractive either, and he has a winning personality. If he were an ordinary guy, that would be more than enough to make him an above-average catch. And I’m assuming that in the porn world, it is his size-queen appeal that makes him work.

      I’m no size queen, but I’d do Colby Keller for all the other reasons. YMMV.

      1. You said everything I would have! Colby isn’t some cookie-cutter porn star — he has a personality, he’s handsome, he’s just enough of a guy next door type. And yeah, his cock is PERFECT. ;)

        1. I hear ya..but when i’m looking @ porn..i’m NOT looking for the guy next door..i can see that every day as i walk out my door:-)

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