Sorry, Just A Preference

Are you a racist if you exclude a wide swath of homos from the sex menu, based solely on ethnicity? I don’t know. Maybe. It’s a wide spectrum full of blurry lines.

Is "no Asians" the same as "no fats," "young for young" or "shaved assholes only"? Or is "no Asians" the same as "I subconsciously believe that Asians are inferior to members of my race."

I’m writing about this because it’s a slow news day, and also because I just ran into an interesting commenter exchange on the filthy sex blog Life in the Raw. On one side of the argument:

Having preferences is only natural, but turning down one whole race is extremely backward, ignorant and bizarre altogether. Look around and I promise you’ll find at least several Asian guys you’d dig.

On the other:

I say that it’s ok to exclude people from your sexual proclivities due to certain physical characteristics like race and skin color. You can say no to advances from asian people the same way you would say no to a troll.

Here’s a second question. Does advertising your racial preferences on your ad make you a douchefag? The answer to that one is more obvious. And it is: yes, advertising you racial preferences on your ad makes you a douchefag. Sure, if you fail to mention that you’re not into black guys, then you’ll get a few more responses from black guys. The solution? Don’t respond to them!

It means you’ll have to spend a few more seconds separating the Aryan wheat from the ethnic chaff, but at least you’ll be hurting only those you don’t respond to instead of telegraphing your negativity to the entire room of homos who are reading your profile.

In conclusion, it’s debatable whether or not these preferences make you racist. What’s not debatable is that these preferences ought to be, at the very least, a teensy bit embarrassing. "I’m only into white guys" is something that belongs in a drunken brunch conversation with close friends, not in a profile that anyone can read. And besides, nobody likes a negative nancy.
 

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10 thoughts on “Sorry, Just A Preference”

  1. I go with the John Mayer point of view, “I’ve got a dick like David Duke”. Not sorry about it. I like to fuck white ass, why would an Asian, Black, Hispanic or any other guy give a shit? Why would they want to be with someone who doesn’t want them?

  2. I really think people read to much into it…. If its what you like, its what you like.
    There should be no apologizes for what you like, prefer, or anything else for that matter.
    This is simply a matter of what you like, not racism.

  3. It would be too easy to call this “preference” thing racist. But it is insensitive and suggest bad manners. And, yes, manners matter even for hook-ups.

  4. I dont usually read his blogs, but I read the post and find it amusing when people say “I’m not a racist, I have an Asian friend!”

    Yes, I think looking down and ignoring people (romantically, sexually) based on skin color IS racist!

  5. How could an Asian like me survive in this white-washed gay world?
    If Im not white, I’m invisible. At the bar, online, and everywhere else.
    As an Asian, I had struggled for years with my sexuality, now I still do not feel accepted by the homo-community.
    Im getting old, no friends and gonna die alone!

  6. Thanks for writing this, even though it’s just because it’s a slow news day! I’ve gone back and forth on this issue, just like you, and I think you found the perfect compromise: whether or not any individual is racist, who knows, but publicly discriminating by race should be “a teensy bit embarassing.”

    It really does hurt my feelings to read “not into black guys;” each time I feel a little more ugly, more undesirable, and I’m not ugly! And, according to some pretty good data, it really is black gay men (and to a lesser extent Indian gay men) who are the most undesirable: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/same-sex-data-race-reply. Latinos and whites do quite well. I love statistics.

  7. I see nothing wrong with it. I don’t think it’s racist at all. Should we no longer put our age preferences either because it’s ageism? Whats wrong with letting people know what you are or are not looking for? Sure one or two people may take offense but that happens no matter what you put. I think people need to get over themselves and lighten up.

  8. Good work, Paul. Another question to ask is “What?” What SPECIFICALLY do you not like about Asians, blacks, etc. Their hair? Their eyes? Their skin tone. No one ever answers that question. Nor would they. They would have to face some rather uncomfortable truths about themselves.

  9. It IS racism.

    It’s not persecution and nobody should HAVE to have sex with anyone they’re not into.

    But it is racism, and I don’t respect the intellect of someone who can’t appreciate beauty SOMEWHERE within every race.

    Saying “no Asian is good-looking” is like saying “My favorite restaurant is Pizza Hut.” I know you’re an ignorant low-brow.

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