“Stop Glitter-Bombing Dan Savage”? Stop Glitter-Bombing Everyone

All this effort in this Queerty article (“OPINION: Stop Glitter-Bombing Dan Savage. He’s Not the Enemy”)—which, just so everyone is clear, has been labeled “OPINION,” but since when is anything on that site not someone’s attempt at having an “opinion”?—to discourage you from glitter-bombing Dan Savage, but not a word about how the act itself, no matter who it’s being perpetrated against, is stupid.

It’s also stupid that there are some people who think that Dan Savage is somehow intolerant of anyone other than gay white males. He’s been glitter-bombed three times now, most recently last weekend in Vancouver, and while I might not like everything about Dan Savage, accusing him of any kind of phobia is like accusing a fat person of being anti-cake. And on this point—that so-called LGBT rights groups attacking Dan Savage is nothing but a waste of time—Queerty’s Dan Avery and I agree. He writes:

Canadian gay paper Xtra reports that six members of a group calling itself Homomilitia were behind the [glitter bombing]. Activist Fister Limp Wrist accused Savage of “ableist, racist, transphobic, fat-phobic, sero-phobic and rape-apologist attitudes and views.”

I’ve interviewed Savage several times. (My first major story back in the late 1990s was a lengthy profile piece on him.) I’ve read his books and hundreds of his columns. […] Sure I disagree with some of his opinions. That’s what opinions are for. And I’m not going to argue he’s is the perfect spokesman for the movement… […] But after all my experience with him and his views I can say pretty confidently that he’s not anything-phobic. He tolerates, even triumphs, orientations, kinks, lifestyles and points of view that both I and Limp Wrist would turn our noses at.

[…]

For the number of people Dan Savage has gotten to understand that heterosexuality is no more “normal” than homosexuality alone, he should be given an award, not be embarrassed in public.

Of course, miserable clown farts Michele Bachmann, Newt Gingrich, and Rick Santorum (who have a combined IQ of 11) have all been glitter-bombed, too. But when it happens to someone he doesn’t like, Avery is “thankful“:

Frothy candidate Rick Santorum is practically orgasmic over his bump in the polls before this week’s Iowa caucus. Thankfully there was someone to take the wind out of his shorts.

On Friday night, an unnamed man went up to Santorum and shook his hand. Seconds later he pelted the ex-senator with glitter and shouted, “Stop the hate! Taste the rainbow!”

No matter how many of these douchebags get the Rip Taylor treatment, it still never gets old.

So, it’s OK to “publicly embarrass” someone, as long as they’re a “douchebag.” By that logic, there isn’t enough glitter in the world…

Putting aside the hypocrisy and the double standard, glitter-bombing as a whole should be stopped because it’s childish and the people throwing the glitter look gay. Half the time–because of the consistency of glitter–it doesn’t even work and the glitter flails to the ground as soon as it’s tossed. Glitter-bombing is fucking retarded. Stop doing it. Stop throwing glitter at people now (and the same goes for pies, too, but at least pie-throwing looks sort of funny), not because the assholes you’re throwing the glitter at don’t deserve to be embarrassed, but because it only makes you look like a brat. Heaven forbid you protest something or someone with ideas or civility or reason or wit.

Because if you think screaming the Skittles tagline at people is going to make them, or anyone, change their minds about you, or if you think simply “throwing shit” at people is going to make them, or anyone, sympathetic to your cause, then you aren’t smart enough to be afforded the rights you’re fighting for in the first place. You, it turns out, are the douchebag.