It would seem paradoxical that hotter men are less fertile than uglier men, but it shouldn’t. After all, we know that gym bunnies, having less to prove, are lazier in bed than flabby daddies despite being more active out of bed. So while the hottie you somehow managed to coax back to your fuck lair is lying there, bored, his sperm are following suit. According to cum-obsessed researchers at the University of Oxford:
The more attractive a male is, the more females will be willing to mate with him, reducing the value of each mating to him. This means it is optimal for him to contribute fewer sperm per mating … [But] less attractive males secure fewer matings but value each of them more highly … This leads to the rather paradoxical prediction that matings with attractive males may be less fertile than those with unattractive males.
Great research, you guys! But this still doesn’t explain why we haven’t gotten pregnant yet.
RELATED:
Study: Uglies Will Let You Put the Head In for Just a Second
New ‘Sex Positive’ Documentary Reminds Us That We’re Filthy Sluts
Jake Cruise Calls His Anus An “Old Girl”
Study: Ugly Men Are More Fertile During Sex (Carnal Nation)
This just proves that nasty folk are probably more likely to rock your world than the sexpots. The nasties almost never get laid, so when they do, stand back!