Have you ever gone home with someone and thought to yourself, probably too late, “Yeah, this guy might bludgeon me to death, rape my corpse and preserve my penis in a jar. Perhaps I should leave.”? Go with your instincts. And beware of the following clues.
1960 – 1994
Painting by robotatomico on DeviantART
Ah, Jeffrey. He gave pervs a bad rap, really. At the heart of his truly gruesome homicidal, necrophiliac, and cannibalistic crimes were a malformed sexuality and a sexual fantasy life that involved dead people. Yes, he was a maniac with absolutely no moral compass, but from a young age he was also a gay boy who perhaps compensated for his own self-hatred and horror over his own desires by wanting to destroy everyone he fucked, preferably before fucking them. But we’re no experts, so let’s stick to the facts.
Clues That This Guy Was Fucked Up
Appearance: a long, lean golden boy who was nonetheless extremely shy, reticent, and really into drinking.
Relationship History: Never married and never had a relationship, near as we can find. As soon as Dahmer was eighteen, and days after graduating high school, he brought home his first hitchhiker and had sex with him. When the hitchhiker tried to leave, Dahmer killed him, chopped him up, and drove the body parts to the local dump.
Jail Time: Dahmer was arrested numerous times before his ultimate arrest for murder, mostly for being a drunk and a perv. He exposed himself at a county fair once, and was jailed once for 10 months, in 1986, for exposing himself to two boys; and again, in 1988, for molesting a 13-year-old boy.
What Got Him Off: The cannibalism thing got played up a lot in the media, but Dahmer insisted that was only something he briefly experimented with. Primarily, he was into fucking dead and/or lifeless men, and in one experiment (since the decomposition thing did present some cleanup problems) he tried drilling holes in mens’ skulls and pouring acid onto parts of their brains in an effort to create “zombies” that would be his sex toys. He also seemed to have a thing for non-whites, though a few of his victims were white. Among the bodies and body parts found in his apartment were several black men, a Mexican, and at least one Laotian (14-year-old Konerak Sinthasomphone, who the police had recently found naked with his ass bleeding, wandering the streets of Milwaukee, and returned to Dahmer’s care after Dahmer convinced them the boy, who spoke no English, was his 19-year-old lover and they had gotten into a fight while drunk).
Not Really That Nice: Jeffy was an alcoholic and a loner from a young age, and also enjoyed skinning and dismembering dead animals from a young age. Throughout his life he had a deep fear of other people and spoke very little. He became a born-again Christian while in prison, just shortly before being bludgeoned to death himself by another inmate. He had to have had at least a few charms to get so many men in Milwaukee gay bars to go home with him, but maybe all his charms were in his pants and his pecs.
Let this be a lesson now: Your next trick, no matter how nice a body he has, could just end up slicing your cock off and frying it up for breakfast. Be careful out there.
Just for laughs, here’s part 1 of A&E’s biography on Jeffrey:
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