Thanks, I Hate It: Cucumber In Ass Edition

I didn’t want a cucumber in someone’s ass to be one of the very first things I saw this morning, but here we are! Life isn’t fair and I guess that means I’m going to be forced to watch vegetable fuckers for the rest of my life.

This weird cucumber scene comes from the folks over at Men.com. The video features Ty Shine going over to Bruno Cartella’s house and finding him bent over in his garden. After getting sprayed down with a hose, the horny gardener does what anyone would do in his situation – he gets naked, pulls out a cucumber that he can use as a sex toy, and starts sucking some cock.

Now, this is where the video gets a little unfair. Ty has a pretty huge weiner, but when Bruno takes the cucumber and puts it up next to Ty’s cock to compare sizes, it just doesn’t do the schlong any justice. Any cock is going to look less-then when next to that giant cucumber! I personally would be pissed if someone used a two-foot-long vegetable to assess the size of junk.

After sucking on the cucumber for a bit, Bruno decides to stray even further from God’s light and actually shove the vegetable up his hole. I mean, I know we’ve all shoved a random veggie up our ass before, but doing it with a fresh cucumber from your own garden just seems like a waste.

I honestly would have been more okay with this scene if it was Ty Shine with the cucumber in his ass. I don’t know much about this performer, but I do know that he has a true dump truck ass. I would pay a lot to see that booty get penetrated with any random vegetable from that garden.

If vegetable fuckers are your thing, you can check out this full video over at Men.com. Sign up for the site now to take advantage of this Black Friday sale and pay only $5.83/month for your membership.