The Fact Is, Anderson Cooper, You’re A Journalist

Hey guys, Chelsea here! For those of you who missed my introductory post last week, I’m The Sword’s new summer intern, and I’ll be popping up here throughout the next few months with my unique perspective on gay news, gay culture, and gay porn. And today’s news has certainly got people talking. In case you didn’t hear, Anderson Cooper came out of the closet as a homosexual man today!

What does Chelsea think about Anderson Cooper being gay? Not gonna lie, I was surprised! Also, I was a little saddened by the news. Why are all the hotties always gay!? LOL. But seriously, first and foremost, I am of the belief system that what you do behind closed doors is your own business. As long as Anderson Cooper and his boyfriend’s gay butt sex isn’t hurting anyone (except Anderson’s butt, because he’s the bottom), it shouldn’t bother you. Period! Judge not lest ye be judged, right bitches?

But to be perfectly honest, I am a little disappointed in The Silver Fox of cable news. Being gay is one thing, but being a gay journalist is a whole other ball game. I am a journalism student right now, so let me share with you why this is important, from the perspective of a (future) journalist.

I thought Anderson Cooper was supposed to be a journalist first and a gay man second, not the other way around. Whatever happened to just “who, what, where, when, why, and how”? I want my newsmen to tell me the straight (no pun intended! LOL) facts, not who they are f***ing! Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my gays, but whatever happened to keeping the news free of an agenda and free of gay bias? Isn’t Anderson Cooper coming out of the closet as a gay just more of the lamestream media’s attempt to push the gay lifestyle down our throats (and not in a good way)? I worry about what this says about the future of journalism, and I worry about how Americans will feel about watching an openly gay man reporting serious news stories. Now the next time I see Anderson Cooper reporting from the middle of a war zone in Syria, all I’m going to be able to think about is him sucking on his boyfriend’s peen!

Anderson Cooper coming out as a gay man undermines the news business and sexualizes journalism in a way that is unacceptable to me and many other Americans. It’s just inappropriate! What if I told you that I masturbated in the movie theater and was rubbing my pussy through my panties while watching Magic Mike last week? Probably would make you think twice about the objectivity of my review, wouldn’t it? Well, that’s basically what Anderson Cooper has done by coming out of the closet as gay.

Anderson Cooper makes gays look duplicitous and shady, and I feel bad for all the good gay journalists (and all the good gays in any profession) who aren’t liars and who don’t put their own sexual desires above their integrity. For all the millions of people who thought that Anderson Cooper was just a trustworthy heterosexual news anchor without any secrets, this was a major blow (and not in a god way! LOL). How are average Americans supposed to trust gay men now, knowing that they are capable of keeping secrets like this for so long? How are average Americans supposed to trust journalists now, knowing that they are capable of keeping secrets like this for so long? How are average Americans supposed to trust anyone ever again? Anderson Cooper has done a disservice to the gay community and to the craft of journalism.

Do you guys remember the game show that Anderson Cooper hosted, “The Mole”? In it, a dozen or so contestants worked together to add money to a pot that only one of them collected at the end. Among the contestants was one person who producers preselected to be “the mole.” Throughout each episode, the mole sabotaged the group’s efforts to complete challenges, earn money, and trust one another, and at the end of the season, the mole’s identity was ultimately revealed. Well, it turns out we now know that there has been a gay mole working in cable news, and he has sabotaged the American public’s trust in journalism and the gay community! Anderson Cooper, shame on you.

And that’s what Chelsea thinks. Thanks, guys.

 

33 thoughts on “The Fact Is, Anderson Cooper, You’re A Journalist”

  1. If this “Chelsea” is all just a joke, then it’s seriously in poor taste. Yeah, I get that this is a porn blog and whatnot… but seriously. Have some kind of platform because even the so-called “funny” hits downright offensive and makes the jokester just look plain stupid.

  2. I remember when Anderson was the late night/early morning anchor on ABC News. His mother Gloria was constantly calling in or showing up to tease and embarass him. It was a delightfully gay time!

  3. OneOfTheManyChris

    Dear Chelsea:

    Did you know Barbara Walters slept with Henry Kissenger to get the famous interview? Now that’s dedication. Here’s what I suggest. We all know Cody Cummings is the King of Gay Porn and hence should be interviewed on the Sword. He likes dudes to suck him off. Zach is a dude. You do the math. Consider it a mission. You go girl!

  4. How is it that there are this many people who don’t understand this is tongue-in-cheek? She’s not real. It’s a joke.

  5. Chelsea, i am a communication student myself and let me tell you : if this is how deep you can capture what Anderson said , you are in trouble baby. You completly miss the fact : he was just trying to put the issue to rest by being true to himself and putting the focus on the duties of his job. And you were really surprised ?! You must’ve lived under a rock or something, everyone knew this for at least 3 years

  6. PLEASE…. everyone should actually read the email Cooper sent. The poor foolish girl who wrote this blog obviously didn’t. He directly addresses all the issues exactly why he felt he needed to say the fact that he is gay. Zack….stop letting this intern spout off… she clearly has a lot of maturing to do.

  7. Chelsea:

    Your perspective on AC coming out and sexualizing his journalism is dead wrong. When Barbra Walters says she likes dick, or Tom Brokaw opines he prefers pussy, no one bats an eye. A man admits he prefers cock in his personal life and he is somehow giving his work product bias? I call bullshit.

  8. I thought it was one of those where it was so obvious he needn’t have bothered, like David Hyde Pierce. I’ve only skim-read other articles about it but I thought he said if he kept dodging the question it would look like he was ashamed of it.

    I think Don Lemon works for the same station too.

  9. I think you misconstrued his statement entirely. It sounds like you are equating coming out exclusively with gay sex. Which certainly is part of it, but not all there is to him. He was asked a question and he responded honestly about it. He didn’t share it on his newscast or talk show. I think his admitting what most of us already guessed was pretty fricking awesome. I suppose there were people who didn’t think he was gay, and maybe that’s shocking, but it shouldn’t be. It shouldn’t even be an issue at all.

  10. So basically, I disagree and am intensely vexed with everything you’ve said in this article.

    I hope you are just joking.

  11. OMG Bitchez, I totally agree with whatever point it is that Chelsea was trying to make. I mean seriously, like, Anderson Cooper, gay? I mean just because you’ve been photographed repeatedly with hot Latin dudez and all… it’s not like you’ve really “come out” until you, like send an e-mail to someone else who then publishes it on the internet! And that’s not journalism… at least, not like when I spent a year in J-school. And you guys who make all these oh so serious “responses” should just shut up!

    Go Chels! :)

  12. Ugh, talk about a ROUGH read.

    Chelsea, I don’t even know where to begin, baby girl. This waaaaay too long. Keep ’em short and sassy at first, yeah?

  13. I don’t really get what’s so “duplicitous” about AC coming out, but I do agree that it will overshadow his journalistic endeavors for a good long time. One wonders if he just did it to snare more viewers for his talk show. Is the current climate really so much more welcoming and better for people to come out than it was four or five years ago? Because call me jaded, but I don’t think it’s kinder to come out now than it would have been a handful of years ago. So I can only figure it’s part of some greater publicity/marketing strategy.

  14. The news stopped being free of gay agenda and bias when the American population, and also the media, started placing emphasis on ones sexuality.

    The fact that all you can think about is his penis when he reports next is your own problem, and it’s something I was already doing before he even made his sexual preferences known.

    Saying that he is sexualizing journalism and then comparing it to you masturbating in a movie theater has no relevancy. You intern for The Sword, it should be expected of you to masturbate in movie theaters.

    Anderson stating “The fact is, I’m gay, always have been, always will be, and I couldn’t be any more happy, comfortable with myself, and proud.” should not be a moment of shame. The fact that he is comfortable with stating this should be a moment of pride, think of all the people….you….that he has to stand up against and still convince them that he is still a creditable journalist.

    LOL

  15. Well said Chelsea. An auspicious debut, looking forward to more.

    Anderson C finally confirmed what many suspected, but as you say, it should have happened
    a long time ago, without all of the duplicitous drama.

  16. Did You READ the original article, or did you make the assumption based on the fact that he came out? He discusses this VERY topic in the original email that was published. Anderson Cooper has continually brought us the unbiased news, and he’s a class act all the way. Ideally it is none of anyone’s business, but that isn’t the world that we live in. In today’s super connected world the people feel that everything about someone in the public eye is their business, whether its a journalist, a model, and actor, or some rich man’s daughter. Hopefully by coming out, Mr. Cooper will alleviate the speculation that has surrounded him, and serve to inspire others that are coming up the ranks. Anderson isn’t the first nor the last out gay journalist. Its sad that we live in a world where its a big deal, and people like you can make assumptions about his motivations. Your youth, and your lack of research is showing.

  17. I don’t mind your posts, but i really don’t like when people put “lol” in blog posts.
    Why would you laugh out loud at your own comment? Or are you trying to encourage others to laugh out loud at your comments.
    OR are you making it clear that you are not trying to offend anyone?
    Either way, stick to your point without the LOL. If its funny, people will laugh anyway.

    1. “…i really don’t like when people put ‘lol’ in blog posts.”

      Uh, that’s precisely why Zach’s putting them in there. He’s assuming the role of the “irritating female hanger-on” of the gay community.

  18. :|

    Zach. I thought you were gonna shelve this “Chelsea” thing since the Magic Mike review kinda fell flat.

    1. Yes so did I and this satire is not too LOL. Wonder if you read AC email article in the Daily Beast. Puts the above to shame.

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