The TLA Awards are the 2nd most important gay porn awards of the year (right behind the year-long handing out of the Swordie Awards, of course). Why?
First of all, there’s no long ass ceremony with gay porn star presenters who can’t pronounce nominees’ names (J-J–JJ–JJJ–Joo—Johhh—John?), and there are no tangible awards given out—you only get the bragging rights of having won a TLA Award. I like that, because why waste people’s time? People waste enough time as it is. For example, you’re reading this right now.
Here the Top 5 Most Amazing Things About The 2013 TLA Gay Awards:
5. That insane Batman & Robin parody movie was nominated for not one, not two, but THREE awards: Best Box Cover, Must Own Movie Of The Year, and Best Parody Movie (of Batman & Robin, or of movies in general?).
4. I learned that there are movies called Werewolf Glory Hole Breeders and Dick-fill-A, both of which are nominated in the “Craziest Title” category.
3. CockyBoys’ Project Go-Go Boy (with stars Jake Bass, Max Ryder, Tommy Defendi, director Jake Jaxson, and producer Benny Morecock) is the most-nominated title, with seven nominations.
2. You can vote as many times as you want, which means you can literally click on my name in the Most Entertaining Twitter category 100, 1000, 10,000, or 100,000 times per day, every day, forever, until March 31st. I promise to have an epic Twitter meltdown if I lose, so it’s a win-win for everyone either way.
1. The Favorite Newcomer category presents the most impossible decision you’ll ever face in your entire life. With the exception of two of the nominees, any one of these stars would be a worthy winner. Ultimately, I was finally able to pick one, but I’ll never tell who it was.