But we never liked him. For one, we blame him for popularizing the thuddy house music that makes us roll our eyes every time we pass by Splash in Chelsea. It’s the sort of bass-less “oontz-oontz” that makes us wince-wince. And we also could never stand his hardcore fans, the self-professed “Juniorites” who follow him around, v-necks tucked into the back of their jeans, veiny arms pounding the fog-machine air.
So it is with some admitted schadenfreude that we announce Junior Vasquez’s latest gig. Tonight. At Faces. In Sacramento. And yes, it is pretty much as you’d imagine, except there are three floors worth. Fag-hags doing cellulite booty bumps with their overripe gay BFFs — that sort of thing. We don’t want to denigrate our neighbors to the north, and hot porn pup TJ Hawke does work there but… we just hope they flew Junior out first class, that’s all we’re saying. Though with no cover charge for his big night, we don’t know where the cash would come from.
A source has leaked details to The Sword about a new fucky fucky extension that will not be beholden to any of Apple's pearl-clutching restrictions.
I don't take sex seriously enough to commit to a Master/slave dynamic, so instead I'll just read this new blog written by a 39-year-old British sub slut named Fang.
1. You know it's a leather orgy when everyone takes a moment between foreplay and fucking so they can put their clothes back on.
When I discovered that a friend of mine trims his chest hair, I told him to think of the children in Africa who have no chest hair to shave in the first place. Now I've found a fur-obsessed Photoshopper who is helming the good fight against body shavers everywhere.
The hypothesis: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo. The conclusion: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo.