Effects: Wide awakeness! The desire to be a thirty-six hour cum dumpster; euphoria and wildly obsessive behavior, including cleaning, collecting things, assembling things, de-assembling things, making disturbing Youtube videos and a passion for unprotected sex acts. The lack of sleep can potentially begin to interfere with one’s health and ability to get by in civilian society.
Native Habitat: under-furnished apartments with Costco-sized pumps of lube; Manhunt.net; The White Party; RVs in the Inland Empire; exploded shacks.
Identifying Features: bad skin; dry mouth; speed-talking; sweaty, gaunt faces; very clean hands; five-page emails; Wal*Mart name tags.
Spectrum of Users: sex-hungry man-pigs; urban professionals who need a weekend alternative to the Blackberry; men you meet on Manhunt; teenagers in exurbs.
Pros: You will no longer be angry when your trick turns out to be a limp-dicked tweaker; your eyebrows will never be unplucked.
Cons: Drano and STDs in your bloodstream, hidden cameras in your ceiling fan, imaginary spiders in your skin, false teeth in your mouth, kidney stones in your urinary track.
Famous Adherents: Heidi Fleiss, Rufus Wainwright, Erik Rhodes, Adolf Hitler
Addiction Potential: For something that encourages you to iron, amazingly high: 5 out of 5.
Fun Fact: In Thailand, the street name for meth is “yaa baa.” (It’s what gives their Red Bull wings.)
The Sword Guide to Gay Party Drugs: Poppers
The Sword Guide to Gay Party Drugs: Cocaine
The Sword Guide to Gay Party Drugs: Ecstasy
The Sword Guide to Gay Party Drugs: GHB
Fatal Drug Interactions: A Gay Primer
A source has leaked details to The Sword about a new fucky fucky extension that will not be beholden to any of Apple's pearl-clutching restrictions.
I don't take sex seriously enough to commit to a Master/slave dynamic, so instead I'll just read this new blog written by a 39-year-old British sub slut named Fang.
1. You know it's a leather orgy when everyone takes a moment between foreplay and fucking so they can put their clothes back on.
When I discovered that a friend of mine trims his chest hair, I told him to think of the children in Africa who have no chest hair to shave in the first place. Now I've found a fur-obsessed Photoshopper who is helming the good fight against body shavers everywhere.
The hypothesis: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo. The conclusion: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo.