The Sword’s Big Gay Sundance Roundup

Park City, Utah is just the sort of cozy, snowy little former mining town that we’ve often dreamed would one day be the setting of a porn film a secret affair with one of our exes.  So though we won’t be making it to this year’s Sundance Film Fest–where all of Hollywood dons designer parkas, gets drunk, hob-nobs in hot tubs and negotiates deals for the indie films that will win next year’s Oscars–we thought we’d let you share in our fantasy and run down all the things we’d be doing if we could afford to go, and if our publicists could score tickets to any screening we wanted.

 

1. Go see Ewan McGregor and Jim Carrey make out in I Love You Philip Morris.

You’ve heard of this one, right?  Apparently it’s still looking for a distributor, but the gay-themed dramedy concerns a con man (Carrey) who meets the love of his life (McGregor) while in prison, and proceeds to escape and commit con after brilliant con, all in the name of love. Sold. See a preview clip here.

2. Check out newly minted gay-for-pay porn god Reese Rideout at ‘Sindance at Sundance’

Unzipped Media is hosting their first gay fete at the fest this year (Monday night at the Queer Lounge, 608 Main Street in Park City… RSVP here if there’s still room), and the headliner will be none other than Men mag’s Man of the Year and The Sword’s favorite Wii-hula-hooping straight boy, Reese Rideout–and this is only the first stop on his American tour!  As we said yesterday, we’ve got no problem with the gay-for-pay boys so long as they’re good at what they do, and Reese is pretty much king these days. If we were able to be at Sindance to see Reese go-go up close, we’d definitely tip him heavily, and we’d need to be restrained from slurrily asking him how much he’d charge for an HJ as the night wore on.

3. Explore the limits of a bromance in Humpday

Bromance really is the buzz word of the month, what with Brody Jenner enjoying a good hot tub and shower with his bros and these high school smartasses brazenly groping each other just to defy authority. But filmmaker Lynn Sheldon’s new film Humpday tests the ironic limits of straight male bonding and one-upsmanship by putting two aging college friends together in a dare that culminates in them (maybe fully) fucking.  As the promo copy goes, “It’s not porn; it’s an art project.” Yeah, again, sold. 

4. Watch comedic geniuses Amy Poehler, Rachel Dratch and Parker Posey get slutty in Spring Breakdown

In kind of a ho-mance story, aging college friends Judi, Becky and Gayle take off on a trip to fictional South Padre Island to live out the partying youth they never had in a series of semen-drenched hotel rooms and beer-drenched co-ed parties. For some bizarre reason this is supposed to be a straight-to-DVD release and is being shown at Sundance as a “non-competition” film, but maybe these gals will get a go at wide-release glory.  See the trailer here.

 

5. Get our satiric neo-blaxploitation fix on at Black Dynamite

It may not be gay at all, but hey, we’re complicated people with varied tastes. And it involves one of our favorite themes (drugs) and features what may just be a major comeback performance by Arsenio Hall.  And we’re sure all the cute twentysomething actors will be at this screening. See the trailer here.

RELATED:

Quel Horror!: The 7 Gayest Moments in Horror
Twenty Cinematic Arguments That Suggest AfterElton.com Is A Lonely Gay Computer with an Abercrombie Mousepad
Otto; or, Up With Dead People: Extended Trailer

Sundance Preview: Movies We’re Dying to See (Cinemablend)
Spring Breakdown trailer (YouTube)


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