The Sword’s Gay Pride / Shame Spiral Begins Anew

For suburban lesbigaytrannies, it’s a terrific time to strap on those Camel Baks full of vodka, descend on your nearest metropolis and dance amongst your kind.  Fashion choices aside, truly, we salute you.

But for homos like ourselves — whether you want to call us New Gay or Post-Gay, or just plain cunts — the festivities lost their novelty around 1995.  We still go and party with everyone else, and we love the fetish/nudist contingent that always brings up the rear of the parade.  And we realize that for the kids who haven’t seen it before, and for the over-40s who only do drugs on this particular gay holiday weekend, it’s still a grand old time.

So yeah, since it will be impossible to ignore, and since we live to be of service to our fine fag friends, here’s the schedule of Pride festivities happening ’round the gay globe in 2009. Beer and vodka manufacturers are counting on you to show up and drink, proudly and irresponsibly.

APRIL – MAY

Barcelona, Spain
April 8 – 13

Phoenix, AZ
April 12 – 13

Miami, FL (Miami Beach Gay Pride) – see pics here
April 18 – 19

Las Vegas, NV
May 1 – 3

Long Beach, CA
May 16 – 17

New Hope, PA
May 12 – 17

JUNE

Austin, TX
June 6

Detroit, MI (Motor City Pride)
June 7

El Paso, TX (El Paso Sun City Pride)
June 7

EuroPride 2009 (Zürich, Switzerland)
June 5 – 7

Albuquerque, NM
June 11 – 13

Athens, Greece  – see pics from last year
June 13

Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
June 13

Indianapolis, IN (IndyPride!)
June 13

Los Angeles, CA  – see pics from last year
June 12-14

Portland, OR
June 13 – 14

Rome, Italy
  -  pics from last year
June 13

Washington D.C. (Capital Pride) – see pics from last year
June 13

Birmingham, AL (Central Alabama Pride)
June 14

Boston, MAsee pics from last year
June 14

Philadelphia, PA (Philly Pride) – see pics from last year
June 14

Iowa City, IA
June 15

Baltimore, MD
June 20 – 21

Boise, ID
June 20

Columbus, OH
June 19 – 20

Lincoln, NE (Pride on the Prairie) — Editor’s Note: No one came through last year, but could someone please send pictures?
June 19 – 20

Nashville, TN (Nashville Pride Fest)
June 20

Antwerp Pride
June 25-28

Berlin, Germany (Christopher Street Day Berlin)
June 27

Dublin, Ireland
June 27

Lisbon, Portugal
June 27

Houston, TX

June 27

Paris, France  (see link for full France pride calendar)
June 27

Chicago, IL
June 27 – 28

Denver, CO
June 27 – 28

Minneapolis, MN (Twin Cities Pride)
June 27 – 28

New York, NY (Heritage of Pride) – pics from last year
June 28

San Francisco, CA
pics from last year
June 28

Seattle, WA

June 28

St. Louis, MO
June 27 – 28

Toronto, Ont, Canada
June 28

JULY

London, England
July 4

Madrid, Spain
July 4

Porto, Portugal
July 11

Frankfurt, Germany (Christopher Street Day 2009)
July 17 – 19

San Diego, CAsee pics from last year
July 18

Charlotte, NC
July 25

Amsterdam, Netherlands
July 26 – Aug 2

Copenhagen, Denmark (Copenhagen Pride 2008)
July 25 – August 2

Montreal, Canada (Divers/Cite)
July 26 – Aug 2

Stockholm, Sweden
July 27 – Aug 2

AUGUST

Vancouver, BC, Canada (Vancouver Pride)
Aug 2

Reykjavik, Iceland (Reykjavik Pride)
Aug 6 – 9

Reno, NV
Aug 15

Manchester, England
(Manchester Pride)
Aug 21 – 31

SEPTEMBER – NOVEMBER

New Orleans, LA (Southern Decadence)
Sept 2 – 7

Dallas, TX (Alan Ross Texas Freedom Parade)
Sept 20

Oceanside, CA (Coming Out Day Pride at the Beach)
Oct 10

Atlanta, GA (Atlanta Pride Festival)
Oct 30 – Nov 1

Bangkok, Thailand
Nov 21 – Nov 29

Palm Springs, CA (Greater Palm Springs Pride)
November 7 – 8

RELATED:

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‘Phobic San Diego Firemen Get Shafted
Historical Homos: A Roundup of Footage from Prides Past
Thousands (or Hundreds) Turn Out for First Queer Pride Fests in India

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