The full, exhaustive, charmingly absurd (FIFTY FOUR models are nominated for Best Porn Star), spelling-challenged list is here, if you can handle it. I can’t.
But, here are the “funny” nominations that, I have to believe, were done just for laffs! (Or, to piss people off.)
10. Best New Site: RileyPriceless.com (it hasn’t even launched yet!)
9. Best Porn Blog: GayStoners.com
8. Best Novelties Site: GaySexFurniture.com
7. Best Porn Star: Brent Corrigan (he hasn’t had gay sex on camera in well over a year)
6. Best Porn Star: Cody Cummings (he hasn’t had gay sex on camera ever)
5. Best Sex Scene: “Drill Instructor Strokes his 11″ Inch Cuban Dick at The Shaving Sinks” (from Angry Young Man studios)
4. Best Sex Scene: “The Rectodus Society, featuring Marko Lebeau, Vance Crawford, Cody Cummings, Brec Boyd, Parker London, James Jamesson, Adam Withmore, Tyler Torro”
3. Best Newcomer: Topher DiMaggio (who has been making porn since before the art of eyebrow sculpting was perfected—his first Randy Blue scene debuted in 2007!)
2. Best Fetish Site: BaitBus.com (having sex in a gross van is a fetish)
1. The difference between the categories Best Mobile Site, Best Original Content Site, Best Video Site (there is no difference)
I see some people acting surprised that Cybersocket nominated “Leave Britney Alone” YouTubelebrity Chris Crocker in the Best Newcomer category, despite the fact that he hasn’t shot one second of gay porn? Please, stop acting surprised. You could be a one-legged circus tranny with no genitals and a hairlip and still get nominated for one of these awards so long as you were at least peripherally affiliated with someone in the industry and—most importantly—you had 150,000 Twitter followers reading your advertisements for Cybersocket for the next three months.